


We'll Always Have Paris

by orphan_account



Category: E.R.
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-02 00:29:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 55,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5226965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carter finds out Kem has been cheating on him with Michel and runs into an old friend in Paris.  He finds solace in another woman's arms while his marriage crumbles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. County Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always thought these two were kind of cute together, though the relationship was early in the series and never went anywhere. I liked them much better together than a lot of the subsequent 'love interests' for Carter and I hated how unhappy they left him at the end. TPTB did a terrible job on his love life IMHO.  
> This is my first attempt at writing something explicit, but I also wanted it to have a storyline at the same time, so let me know what you think.  
> Constructive feed back is always appreciated.

The young woman stepped into the ER, it was chaos. People everywhere.

She joined the rest of the interns and they waited forever it seemed, everyone far too busy to pay much attention. Finally she connected with a senior ER staff member.

"I'm Harper…Tracy."

"Greene, Mark."

"Actually my first name is Harper."

The doctor peered at her through his round glasses with a smile, which quickly faded as he turned his attention back to the patient he was rushing down the hall.

County. She had loved it quickly. Especially when she met him. He was not the smoothest at picking up women, but damn he was cute, and sweet. She wanted to just bundle him up and take her home with her.

They took it slow, she knew he was always trying to impress her, and she found it endearing.  He was adorable, and she found the attraction growing over time.  He seemed a bit hesitant, knowing they worked together, she didn't push the issue until they finally kissed that memorable day over the patient who was covered with a drape for suturing.

Then she knew, she really liked this guy, he was a lot different from the men she usually dated, and things seemed to be going well, heading in the direction she was hoping.  Well, until the day she broke his heart.

"I slept with Doug Ross." She forced the words out of her mouth. He had insisted on knowing what it was she had to tell him, what was bothering her. She would remember that for the rest of her life, the way he looked at her. Devastated. Betrayed.

It was stupid, the whole thing, a big mistake. Doug Ross was a huge massive idiotic mistake, and she'd hurt someone she was starting to have feelings for, someone with whom she'd hoped the budding relationship would bloom into something worth keeping.  She had been upset over a patient, a little boy with AIDS who kept coming in, and they'd had to tap him...more than once.  It was excruciating to participate and afterwards she had gone out for a drink with Doug and woke up the next morning in his bed. 

They’d only had sex once, and they both were sheepish and regretted it immediately the next morning, and maybe she wouldn't have said anything, but Mark Greene had found her at Doug's apartment.  She knew she had to confess, if she continued seeing John without telling him, and he found out, it would be even worse.

So she'd…stalked him really, apologized, tailing him out of the hospital as he'd tried to have a break. She knew he was upset with her, they'd been on the verge of something great and she felt like it had gone down in flames.

"You didn't even have to tell me, we haven't even kissed."  They were discussing this...loudly...a ways from the hospital.  She could tell he was hurt, that he liked her, that she should have gone to him, not to Doug, but it was too late.  She had made a mistake, but in her defense, she and John hadn't gone far with their relationship, not yet anyway. 

"We did, once."  She said quietly, regretfully.  "I'm sorry, John, it was just a really bad day, I didn't mean for it to happen, and it's not going to happen again.  It was one time.  I am so sorry."

He gave her a look of distain and walked away, tossing his lunch into a bin as he went, a smooth dunk from about 10 feet away.

Later that day he and Doug had it out in the ambulance bay, John was taking his frustration out by playing hoops and Doug had gotten in his face.  She had not meant to see or overhear, but she was about to come around the corner and she heard them.  Doug was being harsh.

"You need to listen to her, you should listen."  Doug added a few more very uncomplimentary phrases to that, Harper felt like Doug was taking out his own guilt by yelling at Carter.  After all Doug was in the wrong, not John.

“I already have listened to her, it’s nice you two have made your peace with it, but if it’s okay with you, I need a bit more time.  Leave me alone, asshole.”  She heard the ball hit the pavement and she knew John had walked away. 

That was fair, he'd only known for less than 5 hours, while she and Doug had been the guilty parties and talked it out.

Harper still had to work closely with John in the ER, even though he was up in surgery quite a bit.  His Resident was Dr. Benton, a real slave driver and John had to bust his ass daily to make the guy happy.  She admired how hard John worked every day.

She tried to make it up to John, over the next week she did a lot of little things, showing him she still cared, and she stayed far away from Doug Ross.  Surprisingly, John forgave her, eventually. She was never sure why, but he did, maybe he saw that they could having something so special. And it had been. The first time they'd really kissed. It was a soft tentative kiss, a test, he leaned in, maybe a bit unsure of his reception after all that had happened.

"If you are going to kiss me, do it properly." They were standing on the street, a cool wind whipping around them, she craved more from him, for him to take her in his arms and…he did. The slight smile that appeared, then his lips descending on hers, this time in a full on kiss. Sweet and gentle at first, turning into something deeper quickly. The look they'd shared.

That night was the first time they'd made love, and it was amazing. A hidden side of him, he seemed like the mild mannered med student at the hospital, but in bed…wow.

She had gone with him to check on a patient, he had missed something during an exam and it was the only way he could make sure the boy had not been misdiagnosed.  Afterwards she had taken him out for dinner as an apology, and invited him to her apartment afterwards.  She wanted to take this to the next level.

They were sitting on the couch, and she moved closer, finally turning and running her hand up into his hair.  That soft thick hair.  She leaned in, noting he met her halfway, their lips meeting, his tongue finally exploring her mouth.  She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, a shiver of desire running down her back as he nuzzled against her neck, kissing all the small sensitive spots, lifting her hair slightly to get the one at the back of her neck.  Magic.

They took their time, undressing each other slowly, his fingers unhooking her bra easily, no fumbling, no hesitation.  When he teased her nipples with his tongue, she gasped, then his hands cupped her breasts.

"Beautiful, you are really beautiful."  He whispered into her hair.

She smiled softly, taking his hand, leading him into her bedroom.  Her apartment was small, but it was private, she was glad she was not in a shared dorm room.  She'd lived in one of those for a while, and having a sex life was awkward at best, someone always being kicked out so the other roommate could have the boyfriend in.

She unzipped his pants, his shirt abandoned on the floor of her living room.  She slid down to the floor, taking his pants and boxers with her in one move, freeing him.  He moaned slightly as her mouth engulfed him, winding his fingers into her hair.  She worked him slowly, tasting him and sucking him until he lifted her from the floor, maneuvering them the last few steps to the bed.

He reached behind her and flipped the covers back, then dropped her gently, removing the skimpy panties.  At this point the were both completely naked.

"You are kind of beautiful yourself."

And he was, lean, finely muscled, not one of those muscle bound gym rats, but still, he barely sat down most days, and she could tell.  He crawled over her, kissing her lips, then moving down to lavish more attention on her breasts, then trailing down her body, hitting a lot of sensitive spots, testing, tasting her smooth skin.

When he covered her with his mouth, she inhaled sharply, she had not expected it, but...it was amazing.  The gentle suction, she moaned and writhed under him, finally arching and pushing her hips up as she cried out.  Then she felt the heat of his body, covering hers.  She reached over into her bedside table, pulling out a small package and ripping it open with her teeth.  He let her roll it down onto him, pausing only for a moment before he was inside her.

They both moaned at the initial contact, his first thrust into her warmth.  The anticipation had been building all afternoon.  She dug her fingers into his back as he moved above her, losing herself in the act of making love.  Neither spoke, every move was accented by a noise from her throat, the pace increasing slightly every few strokes.  She let her hips roll up to meet him, feeling the first dribble of perspiration down her back as they moved frantically against each other.

Finally she could not hold back.  _"John, oh, god, yes.  Yes, there, don't stop."_

Harper threw back her head against the pillow, her breath coming in shallow gasps and her back arching as it rolled over her, her body clenched tight around him, and she heard the small choked sound, knowing she had set him off.  She enjoyed the final few hard thrusts of his hips against hers before he collapsed against her, both of them now sweaty, but satisfied.

Wow. Wow... wow.  Was all she could think.  She would take John in her bed any day.  Gone was any sort of hesitation, he was uninhibited in the bedroom. 

"Amazing baby."  She stroked the back of his neck.  "You got some more of that?"

He lifted his head and grinned at her.  "For you?  I have plenty of that, I take it you were...satisfied with the performance?"

She laughed lightly.  A sense of humor, she knew it was in there.

"More than satisfied."  She felt him pull away from her body, dealing with the condom quickly, before snuggling her against him.

"Good.  Give me a few minutes and you can have an encore."

"An encore.  I like the sound of that."

Harper got little sleep that night, but she went to work with a big smile on her face.  She caught herself musing, how different each man was, John was a bit unsure of himself some days at work, but he was amazing and confident as a lover.

She caught Doug staring at her with a smirk on his face, he caught up to her in the lounge as she poured a coffee.

"You look...radiant this morning.  Things going well with you and Carter?"  His way of asking if they'd had sex, obviously.

"Fine thanks.  I have to go."  She turned and walked out, knowing between the two, John was a far better lover in her books.  Not that Doug was bad, but John showed a care and attention to her she loved, with Doug it had been just a one night stand, plain old sex.   

She felt she could never get enough of him, and over time they had become adventurous with each other, nothing seemed out of bounds.

She remembered the morning he'd called into work, saying he would be late. The sound of the headboard hitting the wall as he drove into her, their bodies slick with sweat as they managed to climax together in record time. Their cuddling afterwards and the conversation, his joke about running procedures after her comment about his phenomenal control, he never disappointed between the sheets. That mixture of sweetness and humor.

It was endearing how nervous he got about his interview, but she knew it was a big deal to him. Proving himself to his family who never seemed to be around and were not at all supportive of his choice to go to medical school. The wonderful afternoon in the hotel suite, which almost got him kicked out but was memorable.

The pregnancy scare, announced at the train station, because she was nervous to tell him. He picked up on her question though, they had sex very regularly, they were together every chance they got, staying over night together at her apartment as he was living at his parents place until he finished med school.

"John, how long after intercourse can pregnancy be detected with a blood test?" She was flipping through her medical book while he was ranting about Benton's letter. It took about 30 seconds before he was standing over her, the question finally sinking in.

"Pregnant? You think you're pregnant? We've been really careful."

"I know, never mind, I'm just obsessing, you don't need this today."  She was not sure if her symptoms were just PMS?  Her breasts were a bit sore and she was tired...but it was hard to know, she worked insanely long hours, and they didn't sleep as much as they should either.

He was pacing the platform.

"No I really don't." He gave his head a shake and was back standing close to her. "Did you miss your period?"

"Not yet. Don't worry, John."  He was stressed out, she wished she had waited until after his interview before she mentioned it.

"You want to do a blood test when we get in?"

She shook her head. "I'm definitely just obsessing."

Though she had done a blood test that day, relief flooding her that it was negative. Relief crossing his face too, knowing she really was just obsessing, neither of them in the least bit ready for that kind of reality. A baby. Two med students trying to raise a baby when she was a 3rd year and he was a 4th year, about to start a surgical internship. Bullet dodged.

It went well overall, despite his animosity with Dale, who was a friend from medical school. It took a while before she understood what a snake, a little weasel Dale was, but she'd finally learned.

Only after she'd broken up with her perfect man though, she'd dumped him hard, ruthlessly, after realizing he had staged a getaway at lunch in order to pick up some procedures. Dale's laughter ringing in her ears.

"You dumped Carter? Classic, I love it babe, you should come back to a real man." He snaked an arm around her waist, trying to feel her up and kiss her.

"Stop it Dale.  I am not having sex with you, so just back off."

"Oh come on, you were screwing him, right? Not like you and I haven't fucked before Harper." Dale tried to corner her. "Funny though, dumping him over that little stunt, you have to admit it was clever, he's fighting back."

"What?" She furrowed her brow.

"You live in a dream world honey. The only way you survive surgery is fighting dirty. Everyone does it, if you don't get enough procedures you lose your spot, and I am not letting it happen to me. I stay late and hound every doctor in the ER, try to corner every single procedure I can. I kind of hoped to eliminate Carter, he's major competition and that's it, I do exactly the same thing to him every chance I get.  He is going to match if I can't bury him.  Don't know what you see in pretty boy anyways, aside from the fact he's stinking rich."

Harper knew right then, she'd made another huge mistake. Fighting back? But the damage was done, he was hurt and avoiding her, suddenly very busy when she was around.  She had done it again.

She finally managed to apologize and admit she was wrong, but the timing was all off, she was about to go to another hospital on rotation, one not in Chicago, so…aside from a couple last nights of hot sex, that had been it with John Carter.

Until Paris.


	2. Chance meeting

She was in Paris and she saw someone who looked so incredibly familiar, but…not familiar either.  It could not be him, could it?  He lived in Chicago, light years away from France.

She observed them covertly, not wanting to outright stare, if it was not him, she would be embarrassed to be caught ogling a stranger.  If it was him then she was intruding on what appeared to be a domestic dispute.  He was arguing with a woman. A petite and pretty woman with dark hair who was tugging at his arm. He yanked his arm away, looking upset, their voices rising slightly.

"I cannot believe you Kem. How could you do that? Why did I even come here? Leave me alone." He turned and started towards the river.

"John, I'm sorry." Her tearful softly accented voice.  She followed this up with a few words in French which he seemed to understand, and he shot something back at her Harper did not catch.  There was a bit of an exchange then their voices rose again.

"Sorry. Right. Just go, I don't want to talk to you right now." He shook off her touch and started to walk, the woman dogging his footsteps.

"John, please."  She begged.

John, the woman kept calling him that and Harper's heart flipped slightly, but she tried to be nonchalant. Pretended she was not listening intently to every word.

"Don't, just don't.  I don't want to hear anything you have to say.  Leave me alone, you're good at that."

The woman stopped in the street abruptly, brushing tears away as she turned and hurried in the opposite direction.

John. The woman had called him John, he was definitely American, speaking English with no accent whatsoever. Harper was pretty sure it was him, but not the best timing obviously. She saw his eyes follow the retreating woman briefly, then he leaned on the railing, looking over the Seine, running a hand through his short hair. She stood there staring, and he must have felt her eyes, he turned in her direction.   He stared at her with a bit of a frown, probably wondering why this crazy woman was standing there, frozen.

It took a moment, but she saw the recognition, the surprise in his expression. He didn't look away, so she slowly approached.

"John Carter. Fancy meeting you here." Harper gave him a tentative smile, he still looked upset.

Devastated. Betrayed. She knew the look, she had done that to him. In fact, she'd just had it done to her, by her own husband. What goes around comes around she thought.

"Harper Tracy. I could say the same thing about you. What are you doing in Paris?"  He valiantly tried to cover it up, but she wasn't buying it, he was upset.

"Oh, I am living and working in Germany, but I have a few weeks off and needed a break." She noted the gold ring on his left hand that he was turning idly. "How have you been?"

He gave a little rueful laugh. "Okay I guess. You?"  He knew that she had seen the display, she could tell.   But they both pretended she had not.

She shrugged. "Not so great really."

She was still reeling herself, and she wanted to put him at ease, be open.  They had been really close at one time, but she had not seen him in forever.  He seemed different, but the same, she could see it.

Her eyes ran over him. He looked good, aside from being unhappy at the moment. His hair was different, he had lost some of the boyish look, but he was still completely adorable, she wanted to wrap him up in her arms and take away the hurt in his eyes.  Console him, and maybe console herself a little at the same time.

"Yeah, I can relate. You know what? I think we should go for a drink. I haven't seen you since you left for that OB rotation when we were med students. We should catch up."  He finally smiled, though it didn't go up to his eyes.  She could tell he was happy to see her, it just was not the best timing.

Harper smiled back. "I think you're right, I could use a drink. Or maybe several."

He held out his hand to her, she took it without a second thought. He ushered her into a nearby bar leading her to a private booth a little towards the back, both sliding in.

The waitress came by and they both ordered.

"Open us a tab please."  He dropped a fancy black Euro credit card onto the table, and the server nodded, taking it and running it through the machine, then bringing it back.  He tucked it into his wallet quickly.

"A Euro credit card.  Do you live in Paris?"

"Sometimes.  I...we have an apartment here, the rest of the time we are in Africa.  The Congo sometimes, lately I've been mostly in an IDP camp in Darfur."

"Rough neighborhoods."  Harper worked as a doctor on an Air Force  Base, she had actually heard the details of what was happening, the genocide, the human rights violations, the rape, violence and outright horrors being perpetrated in both the Congo and Darfur.  "You must have balls of steel, an IDP camp John?  Seriously? I would have thought you'd be famous surgeon in Chicago."

"Nope, I dropped surgery after my first year as an intern.  I didn't like who it was making me into, I think you get what I am saying.  Aunspaugh was pissed off, as was Benton, but I went to Emergency Medicine, for the most part it was a better choice.  It was more my grandparents that wanted me to be surgeon, if I had to be in medicine then it was the...most prestigious specialty, right?   They hated me working the ER at County, kept at me to open a private practice."

"Private practice.  I really could not see you doing that."

"How about you, what are you doing in Germany?"

"I work at Hahn, I was an Army brat, remember?  I missed out on all the good scholarships, the competition was tough, so I ended up in the military, and it paid for medical school.  I like it overall.  How did you get into working in Africa?"

John gave her the rundown, volunteering for the NGO, meeting Kem, losing Joshua, and the decision to try and make it work by moving to help her at her clinic.

"That's her, the woman you were with earlier.  Kem."  She looked at him with a frown.  "You were fighting with her."

"Yeah, well, that happens when you find out your wife has been cheating with an old boyfriend.  I gave up a lot to leave Chicago, move over here and it is all just...falling apart.  I am angry, of course, she just told me about Michel, hope you enjoyed the show."

"John."  Harper reached out and took his hand.  "I get it, you know why I am in Paris?  I went home from work early, and found my husband on top of one of my best friends, banging her in our bedroom.  I was hoping to surprise him, things have not been all that great with us lately, and I find out he's been sleeping with my supposed best friend."

"Oh Harper.  That sucks, I am so sorry, here I am feeling all sorry for myself, and you came home to that?  At least I didn't have to see it, bad enough to picture it without actually having to watch.  I think we need another round."  He waved down the server.  "We need a couple more, make them doubles."

He pulled Harper closer to him, sliding an arm around her shoulders.  She leaned against him, taking comfort in the warmth of his body, enjoying the smell of his aftershave, the feel of the expensive soft fabric of his clothing.

"It is so nice to have someone to talk to about it.  Everyone is avoiding me almost, scared to say anything, though everyone knows.  She was married and she has left the guy now, and my husband went with her.  They ran off together."

"Mm, well Kem is supposed to running a clinic, she has two now actually, one in Kisangani and one in Kinshasa, but she has been spending a lot of time in Paris lately.  Now I know why, she's fucking her ex-boyfriend."

They both tipped back the shots the waitress had placed on the table in front of them, John signaled for another round.  "Keep them coming."

Harper laughed slightly.  "Are you trying to get me drunk, John?"

"Hm?  No, well, okay yes, but not in the way you think.  Just drowning our sorrows here, I'm not trying to take advantage of you or anything like that."

“Too bad, I might like it.”  She looked into his eyes, wrapped her hand around the back of his neck and pulled him in for a kiss, though it only lasted a few seconds.

"If you are going to kiss me, do it properly." He whispered in her ear, and she let out a laugh.

"That's my line...or pretty much.  I cannot believe you remember it."

"Of course I remember Harper, how could I forget."  She felt a shiver of desire run down her spine at his husky voice., 

She leaned in and kissed him again, opening her mouth, letting him explore with his tongue. He tasted good, sweet from the liquor. She almost crawled into his lap as the kiss deepened, arms around each other.  She broke off the kiss, licking her lips.

"You taste good, I could just eat you up."  Harper could not believe the lines coming out of her mouth.  He smiled slightly, his arm snaking around her waist, pulling her against him.  His lips on her neck, nibbling her ear.

"I might just let you."  His voice was almost breathless, soft and low, enticing.  His hands were wandering on her tanned bare legs, the light sundress she was wearing had ridden up slightly, she was very glad she had taken extra care getting ready this morning.

She let her hand run up his back and into his hair, it was shorter, but still soft, she played with the tendrils at the nape of his neck, then let one run into his lap, rubbing him through his pants.

She felt his hand go over hers, his fingers entwining but pulling her away from him to rest on his thigh.  "We're in public, Harper."

"So what.  It's dark back here.  I want it, you want it."  She took his hand and slid them together up under her dress, landing them over top of her lacy thong, hearing his intake of breath as he realized how wet she was, just from that little bit of foreplay.  "I want you in my bed, and you know it.  Tell me you don't want to go to bed with me, tell me you don't want to make love to me."

He could not deny it, he did want to take Harper to bed.  The sex had always been incredible, Harper was totally inhibited, verging on wild in bed when the mood struck her, and he was tempted to see if this was still true.  At the very least it would be great sex and she was more than willing, almost begging him.

She held his hand there, he didn't pull it back right away, though he did manage to hide what they were doing under the table.  She kept her hand over his, moving slightly so he was rubbing against her through the silk and lace scrap.  She knew she was soaking through it, she could feel his warm breath against her neck as his pulse rate increased.

She pushed her hips against him as he moved the scrap aside slightly, now in direct contact with her sensitive flesh, she bit her lip to keep from moaning as he touched and he stroked her. She was starting to breath a little heavier as his finger created small circles on her sensitive nub.  She parted her thighs a little more for him, trying to hold still as the desire for him built.

"You're so hot, shit Harper, I want to take you right here."  He murmured in her ear, sucking on her lobe and kissing her neck and he continued to tease her with his fingers.  

Her hand found it's way back into his lap, and he was getting hard, she wanted to undo his pants right here and now and straddle him in the booth, but he was right, not in public, she wanted him naked.  She wanted him somewhere private, where they could have a marathon, not a sprint.

"I'd let you, but maybe this is not the place, we should go back to my hotel."  She felt him withdraw his hand and seconds later she was aware of a presence.

"Eh, y'a des hôtels pour ça!"  The server had dropped more drinks on the table in front of them, and was smirking at them.  It may have been dark, but Harper knew she had not missed the fact that they were practically having sex in the booth.  She knew just enough French to translate it into – get a room.  Maybe it wasn't quite dark enough back here, and if he had continued touching her like that she would have had a hard time staying quiet, he might have even made her come right then and there she was so turned on.

"L’addition s’il vous plaît."  John responded, tipping back one of the shots, Harper picked up the second one and drank it.

"What did you say?"

"I asked for the bill.  I don't know about you, but I think maybe a room is a better idea than having sex right here and now.  The French are permissive but that might be going too far."

Harper purred in his ear. "I'd have sex with you just about anywhere, but then we'd be arrested. It's been too long, and in jail we wouldn't be able to do what I have in mind. I'm with you, lets get out of here.  We need somewhere private to finish this, I've missed having you."

The words were suggestive, husky and low, Harper the seductress was coming out to play, and he knew what that meant.  Wild, sexy, uninhibited Harper wanted to take him into her bed, and given the state of his heart, he needed this kind of distraction.  The anticipation was making his groin stir and he had to take a few deep breaths, he needed to be able to stand up and walk out of here without sporting a hard on.

He signed the credit card slip and slamming back a final shot, then they left the pub.  Harper took his hand.

"My hotel is quite a ways from here, at least half an hour or more."

He stopped and stared down into her eyes.  "You really want to do this?"

"Hell yes, and so do you, I can see it all over your face, I want it, you want it."

No further discussion was required, they went around the corner, and he pulled her in through the double doors of Hotel de Crillon.  He walked up to the front desk still holding her hand.

"Je voudrais une chambre pour une nuit...deux personnes."  John spoke smoothly, Harper gave his hand a squeeze as he held out his credit card. 

"Merci, monsieur. J'espère que vous apprécierez votre séjour."   The desk clerk handed John the room key with a smile.

"Merci." 

"You speak French?"  Harper whispered as he led her up the stairs, not bothering to wait for the elevator. 

"A bit, it is widely spoken in the Congo and I spend a bit of time in Paris too."

Harper was a bit in awe, the hotel was luxurious and beautiful, obviously very old.  She had grown up poor in Boston, and even now her life was pretty simple being in the Air Force.  She had rarely been in such a fancy hotel, and had definitely never stayed in one.  

John barely paid attention.  He opened the hotel room door, grabbing the 'do not disturb' sign and putting it on the outside handle, next putting on the security chain.

The minute this was done, they were in each others arms, and clothes were hitting the floor.  He peeled her dress up over her head quickly and smoothly, leaving her in a skimpy bra and her extremely damp thong panties.  Then he was stripping off his own clothes with some assistance from her as they maneuvered each other towards the king sized bed, his hand already inside her lacy panties working her roughly.

She flipped open the covers, then reached up, pulling him on top of her, him breaking the landing with one arm.   They were both ready with no further foreplay, with minimal effort he removed her thong and she guided him into her, no thought of anything aside from having him inside her. The first thrust was firm, both of them letting out a moan as he entered her wet warmth.

Harper grasped his butt with one hand, the other around the back of his neck, holding him for a moment before he was moving in a regular rhythm, pumping in and out of her fast and hard.

" _Oh John, that feels so good._ " Harper moaned. _"Like that baby, yes."_

It had been too long. Too long since her husband had touched her, and way too long since she'd had John in her bed. She dug her nails into his back, letting her hips rise up to meet every thrust of his, little sounds issuing from her throat every time he drove into her. She wrapped her legs around him, as he buried himself deeply, continuously moving against her.  The whole world faded out, it was only her, and him, his back warm under her touch.

 _"Harper."_ His voice came out as almost a growl as their bodies slammed together, both in a fevered pitch of ecstasy as she felt the sensations overwhelm her, the coiling need in her belly.

 _"Yes John!"_ She cried out as the climax rolled over her, feeling him pounding into her body, a low groan, then his release, the heat filling her belly. 

He collapsed onto her, both of them sweaty and gasping for breath, he rolled them, letting her hook her leg over his hip, keeping them intimately joined.

"Shit, that was intense, and totally crazy."  He inhaled deeply.

"But so fucking amazing.  Again baby, I want to do that again."  Harper knew that the first time was just release of the sexual tension, the built up need from the pub, it was great but it was going to get better.  It had not been all that quick, but it was still a quickie compared to the stamina and control she knew John normally had, the guy could last quite unlike most of her lovers over the years.

"Five minutes.  Give me five minutes to catch my breath."  He kissed her lips, giving her a smile, one that actually went to his eyes.

"I've missed sex with you, you know exactly what I like." Harper ran her fingers down his chest and over his belly. She traced his scar, not wanting to break the spell but still curious, the scar was new, but he still looked great naked.

"I've missed it too."  He moved down her body, pushing her onto her back while kissing every sensitive spot, his lips creating a trail until he arrived between her thighs. Harper pushed herself up against him, letting her back arch as he pleasured her, weaving her hand into his hair while reaching up to grip her pillow with the other.  Holding tight, clenching both hands into fists as she felt the first wave roll over her.

She let out a little 'oh' as her body clenched, then he was over her, entering her roughly.  Harper wrapped her arms and legs around him, welcoming him in, trying to get him as close to her as humanly possible as they became one.

 _"Yes baby."_ Harper looked up into his eyes as they started to move together again, in perfect unison.  Like they had never been apart.


	3. Infidelity

Harper curled up against him, both of them dozing slightly, both slightly drunk still from the bar, but not that drunk.

They both knew exactly what they were doing, she could not help it, she felt the twitching at the corners of her mouth.

"You look like the cat that ate the canary." His voice whispered softly against her ear.

Damn, he was sharp, never missed a thing.

"Just enjoying the after effects of great sex with a man I never thought I would ever be in bed with again  You were always a terrific lover."

"You aren't so bad yourself."

Her one hand was wrapped in his hair, the other hand trickled down his back, running over his tight ass, she had missed touching that perfect ass too. Now she could, and he seemed to be enjoying it.

"No really, John, I mean it.  We always have the most amazing sex, you are probably the best I've ever had, and I have missed it."

John relaxed, he loved having a woman put her hands in his hair, loved it when they caressed the nape of his neck, as she was doing now. He felt her hands travel down his back, her gentle brush over his ass. He lifted his head and watched her face, her eyes closed, but a secretive little smile on her lips. One that he had put there?  Maybe so, if she was being serious, but then again she could just be stroking his ego.  Every guy liked to think he had spoiled a woman for other men, that he could satisfy her like no other.

He kissed her forehead, then her eyelids, the tip of her nose, then down to her lips. He could feel her little intake of breath at the touch of his lips. Her eyes opened slowly as he took her bottom lip between his teeth, then sucked it gently. He wanted her again and they'd barely finished. He felt like he was 25 again, a little foreplay and they would be in business. He recovered quickly, he always had, and he could rock her world all night long, he had missed the type of sex he and Harper had shared as med students.  No holds barred anything goes sex.

"Mm, probably the best?  If you have doubts, maybe we should see if we can change that?"  He teased lightly, then ran his tongue across her lips, sucking the top one this time.

He kissed her again, brushing a hand down her side, thinking that what they had just done was like an appetizer, a hint of how it could be for them together.  The release of the built up need created from their little sideshow in the pub.  He was pretty sure the bartender had been getting off on watching them with his hand up Harper's dress.  He wasn't much of an exhibitionist, though he knew if it had been a bit darker and a bit more private, she probably would have been in his lap in a matter of moments.

The chemistry was still there, he could not deny how she turned him on, it took her only a couple hours and she had enticed him into her bed.  He couldn't resist, simply did not want to resist, the chemistry was still there in _spades_.  Now he'd cheated too, he felt a bit guilty, but more about how good it felt to be with Harper in particular, not as much about the cheating.  He pushed the thought away as Harper's tongue found it's way into his mouth.

Harper let her tongue dance with his, letting her hands wander across his back, down over his tight butt. She wanted him, loving the feel of his naked body against hers.  She knew he was already recovering from their second round of sex, and she was going to keep it going, keep him loving her for hours.

He skimmed his hands up and down her body, her skin like silk under his fingertips. He covered her breast with his mouth, still encased in the lacy fabric of her bra, surprised it was still on her.  He reached back and unhooked it with sure fingers, sweeping it off and tossing it aside. He immediately took her nipple into his mouth, sucking it so sensuously, Harper could feel it all the way to her core.

She was so beautiful, so perfect, he could feel himself throbbing painfully again as he moved to her other breast.

 _"Oh yes, oh don't stop."_ She shuddered with desire as his fingers found her sensitive nipples, then his mouth followed, creating a sensual suction on her breast as he gave equal attention to each one.  He lingered there, sucking and teasing as she moaned, his hand cupping the soft mound of flesh before he moved downwards.

He kissed her belly, his lips and tongue working in concert in the most erotic way. The heat of his mouth against her navel made push her hips up towards him as he moved downwards.

Harper closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as his lips created a path down her legs. She gasped softly as his lips teased behind her knees, then he moved back up her thighs, finally tasting her wetness.

"Ohhhhhh." Harper moaned, she had been waiting for this, he was especially talented with his tongue, she had not forgotten and she would never get tired of his ministrations,  She encouraged him by getting more vocal, not caring how loud she was, she had missed him doing this to her and she wanted to let him know how much she craved it.

John loved tasting her she was just as sweet as he remembered and oh so wet for him. He ran his tongue up her crease, then circled her swollen nub. He sampled her sweetness again, then crawled slowly up her body, his lips creating a fiery trail as he reached her lips.

Harper opened her mouth to him, his tongue probed her mouth in exploration, stroking and wrapping around hers. She gave another little moan, tasting herself in his mouth. His kisses left her breathless as he nibbled her neck, wanting to take his time he slid his hand back down between her thighs, finding her warmth yet again.

Harper could feel the desire coursing through her body as he stroked her, then used small circles on her sensitive nub, eliciting moans from her as the pleasure radiated through her body from his touch. His finger gently thrust into her, she felt her gush of wetness as he caressed and toyed with her.

She slid her hand down to grasp his throbbing member, stroking him and making him moan in return. She really could not wait a moment longer, she started to grind against his hand, thrust her hips up slightly, pushing against him as he moved his fingers quicker, taking her to a quick climax.

She rolled them, guiding him to her hot, wet center as she impaled herself on his erection. She could hear his sharp intake of breath as her warm wetness surrounded him.

 _"Ah, you feel so good."_ She moaned as he filled her. She looked down into his desire darkened eyes as she started to rock her hips, he thrust upwards, caressing her breasts, tweaking the hard peaks of her nipples, making her vocalize her pleasure.

John had lost the power of speech, and was inhaling deeply trying not to come in the first 30 seconds. He watched her gyrating above him, he brushed his hands over her hips, over the dip at her tiny waist. She was so beautiful, so amazing, she took his breath away. He let his hands move up her body to the handful of breast, cupping them, then playing with her nipples again, brushing his thumbs across, flicking them slightly, enjoying the taught flesh.

They fell into a rhythm as her hips circled and rocked, his answering thrusts up into her. Harper could feel it building, the coiling sensation in her stomach and she moved faster against him, rocking harder as his thumb found her clit. Having him inside her and the way he was playing with her breasts, it felt incredible, one hand working her sensitive nub as her climax struck, she cried out letting it roll over her. She froze, bracing her hands against his chest, gasping for air as her body clenched around him. She finally caught her breath, gazing down at him with half closed eyes, knowing he was watching her every move, every expression on her face.

She smiled as John flipped her onto her back, pinning her to the bed momentarily as he braced himself against the bed.  He started to stroke in and out slowly, their eyes locked as he moved above her, almost fully withdrawing from her body, then filling her again. He could feel her nails digging into his back as she gave a small cry with each thrust. One of her legs wrapped up around his hips, pulling him in, allowing him deeper.

 _"Oh John."_ She murmured.

He pushed into her then pulled almost all the way out, stopping for a moment.

Harper knew he was teasing her, wanting to hear her say his name. _"John, stop teasing me."_

John thrust into her again, taking up a slow firm stroke. Harper let her hips circle up towards him, pulling him closer with her leg and running a hand into his hair. Their breathing was coming in short gasps as he increased his pace slightly, her hips meeting each vigorous thrust.

He varied his movement slightly, and kept changing what he was doing until he heard the long moan that escaped from her lips knowing her had found the right spot.  He could feel her smooth walls tightening around him, creating a sweet friction as he moved within her. He was unrelenting now, driving into her hard and fast, feeling his orgasm start to rise.

 _"Oh, god I love you."_ Harper could feel it starting again, it overtook her quickly and she tipped her head back, arching upwards.

John could tell she was close, as soon as her body started to contract around him he let himself go, letting out a long moan of pleasure as he climaxed. He lost control, thrusting into her over and over, his body twitching as he drove in deep and finally stilled. They were both panting from the exertion, he collapsed against her, rolling slightly to take his weight off.

Harper...he never thought he'd ever be in bed with her again. She was beautiful and sexy, and an amazing woman, he thought back again to all the times they'd made love and he realized how much he missed her. She had been a good friend, a confident, an incredible lover. Totally without inhibitions when it came to sex. He withdrew from her body and slid fully onto the bed beside her, letting his fingertips trail up and down the soft skin at her navel.

Harper sighed, the light sheen of sweat evaporating from her body. Damn, the sex was great with this guy, he was tireless it seemed and he never stopped until she had her satisfaction. 

His fingers created an electric current as they brushed across her skin, sending tingles down between her thighs. She knew she was getting hot for him all over again and she was going to do something about it. She pushed John over onto his back, getting up on all fours as she moved her body up towards his head. She kissed him, then began moving over him, kissing his body as she crawled downwards.

John looked at her above him, her skin slightly shiny and luminous. He could feel himself stirring back to life as she kissed her way down towards his groin. He put his hands up and let them graze over her body as she hovered over him on all fours, She stopped to kiss his chest, then she sucked and teased his nipples.

She smiled slightly as she noted this action caused a direct reaction in his groin.

"You always did like that, didn't you baby." She breathed the words against his skin.

"You know how to make me crazy Harper."

She kissed his smooth warm skin, feeling him move slightly capturing one of her breasts in his own mouth. Harper noted he was not laying passively, his hands were firm and sure, but gentle as he tweaked her nipples, sucked and nibbled at her breasts.

She started to move downwards, they both kissed and stroked each others skin until she arrived between his thighs. Damn, he was almost hard again. Harper was incredibly excited, she ran a finger over his sensitive tip, and was rewarded as his erection firmed up immediately. She teased him with her tongue, swirling it over his sensitive head, coaxing him to full attention.

 _"Mmmm, oh yes, baby."_ John inhaled slightly as her tongue ran over his tip, then she grasped him, licking all the way around his firm shaft. He moved his hips slightly, closing his eyes momentarily while his hands stroked her hips. He loved this, having her over him, being in her mouth. His eyes flickered open as she moved down a bit more and he felt her knees were on either side of his head. The view he was now enjoying was simply erotic, her hips moving enticingly as she sucked and licked his cock. He had to touch her, his hands moving over her hips across her perfectly formed ass, as he turned his head and nibbled on her thigh.

She was incredibly wet, he could see she was almost dripping, he could _smell_ her sweet scent and he felt the reaction in his body. He slid his hands, parting her folds slightly, and inserted two fingers into her. Feeling her warmth suck his fingers in as Harper wrapped her lips around him was amazing. He tucked a pillow behind his head then pulled her hips towards him as he added another finger and moved them in and out slowly.

Harper moaned around him, he was now fully in her mouth, but he was not just lying still, he was stroking her, fingers up inside her. She felt his one hand on her hip as he worked his fingers in and out, putting pressure on that little spot inside her. She was trying valiantly to continue her ministrations on him, having to stop now and again to rest her forehead on his thigh as he made her gasp. She rocked her hips slightly back against his hand as his fingers moved gently in and out of her.

She was starting to pant a bit, biting her lip as she felt him withdraw his fingers. Putting a gentle downward pressure on her hips, he rose up just enough to cover her with his mouth. She moaned loudly, sinking down against his body as he pulled her closer and replaced those fingers with his tongue.

Harper tried mightily to continue what she started on him, but what he was doing was turning her to jelly. She almost collapsed on top of him as he buried his face between her thighs, giving her a thorough tongue bath, then proceeding to suck and stroke, and create circles on her nub. She could feel his tongue enter her again as she writhed above him, all she could do was enjoy what he was doing to her, barely managing to more than gasps.

She was oh so sweet, hot and wet, John could feel and taste the gushes as he pleased her, and hear her moans and little soft sounds coming out of her mouth. He kept it up, hearing her breathing become more labored and the sounds from her mouth more urgent. He teased her, bringing her close, then backing off just slightly, then increased his assault with the hopes of taking her over the edge.

Harper moaned, this was driving her insane. He didn't just concentrate on her clit, his tongue was everywhere, including inside her, which felt so good she almost lost her mind. When he was inside her she wiggled slightly against him, wanting him in deeper. His final push brought her to orgasm, as he sucked and nibbled her clit, followed by covering her again with his mouth and inserting his tongue. When she came, it was intense, she felt the world stop, then come crashing down as she cried out again, almost sobbing with relief at the release.

John didn't stop as he felt her muscles clench around his tongue, he sucked and licked her until she felt the waves recede slightly. Harper breasts were heaving as she tried to catch her breath, he was making it extremely difficult as he continue to tease her.

John was throbbing with need now, he gently slid out from under her body, letting her sink down onto the bed on her stomach. Harper felt oddly satiated and needy all at the same time, it was amazing how he did that to her.

John admired her laying there, her tiny waist and firm ass. This was one of his favorite positions, he loved to take a woman from behind like this, and he knew from experience that Harper loved it too, and when he took the pillow that had been behind his head and tucked it carefully under her hips, she lifted for him automatically.

His lips caressed the warm skin of her back, brushing so sensually over her skin that she could almost cry. She felt him against her hot center, then he slowly and gently entered her, pushing all the way in and filling her. She didn't have to do much, but she pushed back towards him softly sighing at the pleasure as he moved against her.

"You feel so good." He murmured against her neck, nuzzling and nibbling as he slowly stroked in and out of her. She reached out and entwined her fingers with one of his hands that was propping him up as he started to move with shorter thrusts that made Harper cry out in pleasure.

" _Oh, damn, don't stop."_ She rocked back against him, balling up the sheets in her hands. As he paused to adjust slightly, she pulled up one leg slightly, then worked her hand down under and between her thighs. She slid her hand to feel their intimate connection. He could feel her hand trying to touch them, he wrapped his arm under and guided her hand as he paused for a moment. He slowly stroked in and out for a few moments, letting her feel him entering her, her fingers running over his shaft as he moved then stopping again letting her feel him inside her.

 _"More baby, don't stop."_ Harper whispered softly, she felt no inhibitions with him, he showed no shock or hesitation at anything she was doing, it was freeing. So very different than the generic sex she'd had with her husband during their marriage. She had loved the guy at one point, but he was nothing like John in bed, and she didn't realized how much she missed this no holds barred fucking.  The clear and obvious chemistry they had in the bedroom.

He moved against her in the same short thrusts that made her moan again, his hands now tight on her hips as he moved back on the bed to gain more leverage.

Harper began to rub herself with one finger, as he thrust into her hard and relentlessly, he was eliciting little gasps out of her as he drove into her, varying the intensity and depth until she was letting out a string of little pleasure sounds. He wrapped his hand down and under her hips, helping her as she started to lose control, he wanted her to make herself come so he stopped thrusting, pushing himself in deep, moving his hips only slightly to create a gentle friction for both of them.

They continued to work together until she finally started to pulse, then he was moving again, thrusting into her hard and fast, knowing from her reaction he was hitting her g spot again. His own orgasm was starting to rise, her body contracting around him, her sobbing gasps, the gushing wetness, the smell of her arousal and the sweet friction put him right over the edge. He kept thrusting uncontrollably as his hot liquid filled her, her muscles tightened and eased repeatedly, her loud cry all the proof he needed that she had enjoyed it.

They both collapsed in a sweaty heap, John careful not to drop his full weight on her, rather covering her gently like a blanket. He kissed her back and neck, feeling one of her hands reach back to caress him.

They both were panting heavily. John kissed her shoulders, back, and neck again, then finally moved slightly, withdrawing from her body, and sliding up enough so he could kiss her lips.

John loved that she wanted to be kissed. He could taste her and himself in his mouth from the oral ministrations, Harper was plundering his mouth with her tongue, wanting to get a taste of the heady mixture.

They cuddled for some time, before John slid off her gently and wandered into the bathroom.

"Be right back baby."

Harper lay on the bed with her eyes closed, she could hear the water run briefly, then he came back out and she could hear him out in the main area, digging in the fridge. He came back around the corner, still totally nude, with a cold bottle of water. He cracked it open, drank some back, then flopped onto the bed beside her, holding it out.

Harper tipped it back gratefully, her mouth was dry and cottony from the exertion. She gave a little giggle, and John's deep brown eyes met hers a little smile playing around his lips.

"Glad you are enjoying yourself."

"I haven't been fucked like that in years, damn right I'm enjoying it.

"We should not be doing this, though it was pretty amazing, I won't lie, that is the best sex I have had for a long time. We always had great sex, didn't we?"

"Yes, we had incredible sex, and still do. You're control is still phenomenal, though I hope you weren't thinking about bowel resections."

He laughed out loud. "I never did, you know that was a joke. You know how I really do it?"

"No. Tell me."

"I concentrate on you, I distract myself, watching your face, you are really expressive when we make love, and you always have been. You get this cute little furrow between your brows when you are close. I can picture it even with my eyes closed, I remember how good it was with us Harper. I have missed you, it is so great seeing you again."

"It still is, and I know you were joking. We had fun, John, you were one of the best boyfriends I ever had and I am sorry about how it ended with us. It was a while afterwards, but I finally understood why you did it."

"I shouldn't have though, it wasn't about you either, you know that right? I was a little crazy at times, I know that, the pressure in surgery was insane, which is why I changed to Emergency Medicine, I didn't like the atmosphere, it was dog eat dog, cut, get in, get out, who cares that the patient is a person. It was all about the procedures. I guess it was for the best anyway, we both know we were nowhere near ready for anything lasting anyways, we were both wrapped up in surviving med school."

"I know, I remember how scared I was when I thought I might be pregnant. You weren't all that excited about the thought of being a daddy either."

"No, not back then I wasn't, but if you had been we would have figured it out. I would never walk away from my child, or the responsibility. Even back then I would have helped you, done whatever was needed. We haven't been all that careful today have we? Sorry, we should be using condoms."

"I'm clean John, I am betting you are too. I'm on the pill too. Don't worry about it, I haven't had much sex with my soon to be ex either, I can pinpoint when he started having sex with her, because he stopped having sex with me. I don't have any condoms, I was not expecting to be having sex."

"Me either, I was just out for a nice walk and then got hit with, hey by the way I'm fucking my ex."

"And now we are cheating on them."

"Yeah, bad karma right? Find out your spouse is cheating with an ex, and then go find your own ex and spend the afternoon banging each others brains out."

Harper shrugged. "They cheated first. I don't feel bad John. I came home to find my husband on top of my best friend in our bed. They were fucking each other in our bedroom, I had the pleasure of seeing my friend suck my husbands cock, and then him start to fuck her. I still can't get the picture out of my mind. 10 years married to the bastard and he picks her."

"I'm sorry honey.  Bad enough to see him with another woman, but the betrayal of friendship is just as difficult."

"I know you get it, you understand all too well."

He sure did, unfortunately.

"I came home from Darfur, that place is like a cesspool, I swear, watching all the women come in beaten and raped, marked so their husbands will know they've been violated repeatedly. I fly all the way here because she wanted me to come home and then she tells me. I know we've been having problems but shit. She's sorry. That is all she can say is she's sorry. At least I didn't have to see them, but knowing is just as bad. At least he never pretended to be a friend."

Harper could see the tears building.

"We lost our son a few years ago, he died before he was even born, and she has not wanted to try to have another baby. Not with me anyways. I gave up everything for her, and this is what she does."

"John, I am so sorry." Harper pulled him in closer.

"What is wrong with me? Why can't anyone love me?" The words come out, more to himself that to her.

Harper rested her cheek against his hair. "I know John, I know. My husband doesn't love me anymore either. You know, I can't have a baby? We've tried, and every time I miscarry. I almost wish I had tried sooner. I know I won't ever have a child to love."

He rolled over and looked at her. "Harper." The one word said it all to her, he gathered her into his arms, kissing her gently, then just cuddling her against him. She buried her head into his chest.

"I have missed you, baby."


	4. Discovery and Commiseration

John took her nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue, nibbling and sucking, doing some incredible things to it. Harper could feel the sensations curling down her belly right to her groin. She knew she was getting wet between the thighs as she wrapped her fingers into his hair.

They had dozed off for a while, waking up to buzzing of John's phone.

"You going to get that?" Harper asked softly, knowing just who it was.

"Nope, she can go to hell." He didn't even move to look at it, he just rolled towards her, kissing her lips. One thing led to another and now they were back in the throws of passion.

He was working each breast so ardently, and intently, she involuntarily started to move her hips, the need to have him inside her was growing. He alternated between each of her breasts, not letting one get too sensitive before he went back to the other.

Harper sighed, it felt amazing. She worked her hand down his body, grasping him and stroking up and down as he continue non-stop on her breasts. She heard his soft little moan, his lips still on her breast.

" _Oh!"_ Harper's hand tightened around him as the shockingly intense and unexpected orgasm hit her and he had not even touched her between her thighs. She called out and her back arched involuntarily as she spread her thighs, needing him.

John gently removed her hand and positioned himself, gently parting her with the tip. He rubbed her hot wetness, her hips thrusting up as she felt him, grasping his tight ass with her hands and bringing him into her.

One quick thrust and he was into her fully, with only a short pause before he was moving inside her. Her body pulled him in as it pulsed and contracted around him. Their hips circled against each other as they increased their rhythm, soon he was pounding into her body.

 _"Oh yes!"_ Harper was in ecstasy, as she tipped her head back, feeling his body moving over hers. She pulled her legs up, trying to take him deeper, feeling the orgasm start to build as he buried his head into her neck.

Harper cried out as it hit, her muscles gripping him, his own answering cry following only seconds later as she felt his warmth fill her belly. After several more deep thrusts he collapsed against her.

They lay catching their breaths, Harper stroked his hair as they kissed and cuddled, her leg slung over his hip.

"Oh holy crap, that was great."

"You liked?" John smirked.

"You know I loved it. My turn." She kissed him deeply, then started to kiss his body, working downwards, tracing the scar on his belly with a fingertip before kissing every inch.

She stroked and dragged her nails gently down his skin, he twitched and wiggled enticingly. She kept at it, driving him crazy, taking her time before she finally slid down between his legs, this time keeping her body away from him, this was his turn.  She knew if he could touch her body, he would, and it would distract her from what she wanted to do to him.

Harper teased, not touching his hardening member, but kissing and touching him everywhere else, cupping his balls and playing with them tenderly. She sucked on them, stroking the sensitive spot right behind his testicles.

"Mmmmmm." The long drawn out sound escaped from his throat, making Harper prolong her activity.

Her hands were fully engaged, as was her mouth. John was very good with his tongue, but she was pretty good too. She moved to his inner thighs, running her nails down the skin, then kissing, ignoring his stiff member, teasing him.

John was going crazy, he was needing her to touch him, he was anticipating what was going to happen next. His hands were running and entwining in her hair, he gently guided her head towards his hard shaft.

_"Harper, oh, please."_

Harper loved that she was making him beg. She finally started to touch him, licking up each side, then taking him all the way into her mouth. John groaned as her mouth encircled him, so warm and wet.

 _"Yes, baby, oh."_ He watched through half lidded eyes as she sucked and stroked him, her lips tightening around him as she moved up and down his shaft.

Harper opened her throat, taking as much in as she could. She could hear little sounds coming from him as she wrapped her hand around his base, cupped his testicles, and went at him with some intensity. His hips were moving a bit in time with her now, adding to the pleasure of what she was doing, and she pulled up just enough to let him continue. She was using her tongue in such a way it stimulated his sensitive head with each move of his hips.

Harper herself was getting wet, it turned her on how much he was enjoying this. She never got this excited giving a guy a blow job, but something about the taste and scent of him really got her going.

She backed off a bit, stroking him with her hand, licking her way around him, her eyes watching his face. She tried avoiding his most sensitive areas teasing him a bit.

Harper slid her lips down his shaft, paying attention to his sensitive tip on the way down, and could feel everything tighten and prepared herself, opening up her throat as she took him as fully as she could. He let out a cry as it happened, it was exquisitely painful at first, turning into pure ecstasy. Harper sucked and swallowed furiously for what seemed like forever as he came, his hips gently thrusting upwards. His body finally relaxed and she let him out of her mouth. She gave his softening penis a kiss then crawled across him and pressed her mouth to his.

He opened his mouth slightly and she explored deeply, stroking his tongue with hers. She let her hands wander into that gloriously thick and luxurious hair as his arms pulled her in close to his body. The kissing was passionate and Harper lost herself in the feel of his lips, his tongue plundering her mouth, the velvety texture of his tongue as it met hers.

John could taste himself in her mouth, as the kiss went on. The feel of her body, the satin of her skin under his hands. He could smell her arousal, wishing he was ready again, but that was going to take a few minutes after that amazing job she had just done.

He slid his hand down between her thighs, finding her slick and wet. He started to work her clit as they kissed, causing her to moan and grind her hips against him. He worked his hand down enough to slide in two fingers, then a third, thrusting into her as she started to move her hips to meet each thrust. He positioned his hand so he could rub her clit and keep his fingers inside, she started to moan and their movements became more frantic, quicker until she was sobbing for air.

Harper was almost crying to come, he was as good with his hands as with every other part of his body. Her body clenched around him as she groaned with relief.

John could feel her muscles grab him, then the soft pulsing that followed along with a sweet gush as she came. His hand was soaked and Harper was clinging to him trying to catch her breath. He withdrew his fingers, and rested his hand on her navel as they shared a few soft kisses then both relaxed.

"Oh shit, John. You know how to get a girl to come."

"You're welcome. I enjoyed what you did for me too, that was amazing, baby." John kissed her, then took a swig out of the water bottle, his mouth was very dry again. He handed it to Harper who drank as well.

"So." Harper smirked. "Got anymore left for later?"

"You are going to be the death of me, but oh what a way to go." He joked. "If you give me just a bit of recovery time, then yeah, I'll have something more for you. But, we might need some food. Hungry?"

Harper shook her head "I am not going anywhere."

"They invented room service for a reason. Why don't we find the menu and order some food, I am starving."

They both freshened up then found the room service guide, ordering some food to share, John pulled on some pants to answer the door, while Harper put on his dress shirt, inhaling the smell of him. She admired the room...or suite was more like it. She didn't really notice before, it was actually a very luxurious it had a massive tiled bathroom. Harper eyed the shower and jacuzzi tub. Hmmmm.

She started running water into the massive tub, pouring in a bit of the complimentary bubble bath. John came in, hearing the running water and he smiled.

"Snacks in the tub?"

"Something like that." She gave him a suggestive look as she started to undo the buttons of her shirt. "How long?"

"Half an hour?" John was watching her as she slid into the water. He dropped his pants, and slid in across from her.

Harper leaned back and sighed softly. The hot water felt refreshing after getting so hot and sweaty. "This is a really nice room. You are going to hate your credit card bill though, I bet this place costs a fortune."

"Ah, no big deal. You know we used to stay here sometimes when I was a kid? They've done a lot of work on it over the years, but I remember coming here when I was 9, the year before my brother died."

Harper remembered him telling her about Bobby, his older brother dying. "AML, right?"

"Yes, he was 12. So long ago now, crazy how long it's been since we were here as a family."

"Still John, crazy for us to stay here, even for a night, how about I will pay for the room service."

"Uh uh. My treat. It's going on my card."

"Do they even pay you in Darfur?"

"No, I volunteer. But I don't need the money, you know that...Harper, you _do_ know that right?"

"Oh right. Your family are some kind of millionaires, right? Jerry made sure to point that out at some point in our relationship, I think when I wore the earrings you gave me for Christmas. He asked if they were real diamonds and I laughed at him. Then he said no, really, did Carter give you those and are they real?"

"Uh, right, the earrings. You still have those?"

"Yes, I do, I wear them sometimes and I get a lot of compliments on them. They aren't real though are they?"

He laughed. "Um, yeah they are actually. Surprised you didn't hawk them to pay off your student loans after we broke up, you were really pissed off."

"No, they are not real diamonds."

"Oh yeah they are, Tiffany's actually. I really liked you, Harper, too bad we weren't a little older and more mature when we dated. Or maybe too bad I wasn't more mature, maybe that was the problem."

"You're all grown up now though, and I really liked you too. You know if I had been able to stay in Chicago, maybe we would have worked out. As it was, being constantly moved around with med school, we didn't have a chance.  We still don't, you live in Africa and I live in Germany."

"Hey...come here."  John reached out and pulled Harper into his arms, letting her lean back against him.  He tucked his arms around her waist and rested his cheek on her hair.  "It is kind of surreal, being here together after all these years."

"I know."  Harper was quiet for a minute.  "John, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Where did you get the scars...on your back?  And this one."  She ran her finger down his stomach.

"Long story."  He heard the knock on the door.  "Food." 

He disengaged himself and put on one of the fluffy robes, going to let in room service.  Harper sighed, thinking he was avoiding the question. 

By the time she toweled off and came out into the main room, room service was gone and he had set up the food for them to eat in the small sitting area.

"That smells so good."  Harper ran her fingers across his shoulders, then sat down beside him.  "John, why are you avoiding the question?"

"About what?"

"The scars.  Is it that bad?"

"Honestly?  Yes, but I trust you Harper, maybe just eat something first."

"Like it is going to freak me out or something?  I'm a doctor John."

"Okay well, can I eat first?"  He ate a few bites, the put down his fork.  "Yeah never mind, even just thinking about it is hard.  It's an unhappy Valentines story."

Harper frowned slightly, but ate a few bites before he seemed ready to tell her.

"About 8 years ago on Valentines Day we had a patient come in complaining of headaches, this was at County.  I was still a resident at the time, I got set back a bit because I had to do the extra year, switching to the ER I didn't get credit for my surgical year.  Anyways, I was supervising two med students that day, and the one, Lucy, happened to take this patient.  It was busy, Lucy was a bit of a pain in the ass sometimes, she and I didn't always get along the greatest."

"Which is weird because you pretty much got along with everyone...except maybe Dale, but then I found out hardly anyone got along with Dale."

"Yeah, a name I try to forget, we barely tolerated each other most of the time.  Anyways, she was spending a lot of time on the guy, we had to do a tap and rule out meningitis, and we did a huge workup on the guy but we weren't finding anything.  Finally she was going to call psych, and I told her to get Malik to sit with the guy until they came down.  She had a leg lac she was supposed to suture.  Anyways, several hours passed, she was still babysitting this guy."

"Uh huh. And then?"

"I went for a quick coffee break, came back and he was still on the board along with the leg lac.  Everyone was having a party, the board was clear except for the two patients, so I went to see what was taking her so long.  I went into the exam room and the light was off which was strange, but there was something on the floor, I picked it up and next thing I knew I felt pain in my back."

"What happened?"

"The patient had a psychotic break and stole a knife from the lounge.  It was out so they could cut the cake they'd brought in.  He stabbed me twice in the back with it and I ended up on the floor."

Harper put down her fork.

"You're kidding.  John, a patient stabbed you? Twice in the back?"

"Even worse when I hit the floor, I look over and he had stabbed Lucy, the med student.  The wound I could see was her throat, she was in a pool of blood, still conscious at that time, but I passed out.  Woke up in the trauma room, then they took me up to surgery.  I remember seeing her in the next room and they had to crack her chest."

"Wow, I bet that still gives her trouble."

"Not so much, since she died from complications after surgery. I barely made it through, he hit my renal artery and I lost function of a kidney.  Lucy died, it turns out he stabbed her four times, she didn't have a chance."

Harper frowned, then she slid over and wrapped her arms around him.

"I am so sorry for making you tell me that.  What a horrible thing to happen.  No wonder you don't like to talk about it."

"It's okay Harper, I can talk about it now, though it was really hard for a long time.  I blamed myself for a long time too, and it took a while to recover, physio, and my kidney still doesn't work properly, if at all."

"Still, I wish I had been there for you, I thought I had a crappy time with losing babies, but you've had to go through both losing a child and almost dying."

"You had a hard time, don't discount that Harper.  Losing a child is...well, there are no words that can ever make it better.  All the I'm sorry and condolences and everything?  None of it helps does it?"

She shook her head.  "No, it never does.  There were a lot of people who tried to make me feel better but you are right, nothing ever can.  You get it, I know you do, losing your son, losing your brother."

"I have lost a lot of people close to me, and it has been hard.  I wish I could go back sometimes to when I was a student, and have a redo of my life.  I feel like, I have lost everything.  I get through one thing and then... boom the next thing hits.  I wish I could make different decisions, but I have to just deal I guess.  Now I have to deal with my wife cheating on me and my marriage very likely being over.  And if it wasn't before, I guess it really is now, she is not going to be too pleased with me."

"Maybe not, but she can't condemn you John, she cheated first.  I know it's not a competition, but why should you and I have to just let them get away with it."

 


	5. Run Away With Me

"John." She gave him a soft shake shortly after waking, his phone had been buzzing non-stop and it was driving her insane. She was tempted to answer it, but she didn't want to mess up his life by doing that. Then she giggled, liked having sex all night with a married man was not going to mess things up?  Then again, she cheated first, she needed to remind herself that he was reacting, rebounding as was she.

"Hmmm? What time is it?" He finally opened his eyes many hours later, recognition flooding in. Memory of what they'd done together. "Harper."

"Uh huh. I think we got a little drunk and out of control."

"Not that drunk, we both knew what we were doing, at least I did. Sorry, you did not need to hear all about what a disaster my life had been. You made a lucky escape all those years ago, but here I am dragging you into my sad little world."

"I dragged you into mine too." She looked into his eyes. His phone rang again.

"It's been going all morning. Maybe you should answer it."

He reached over and looked at the screen, rolled his eyes and dropped it back onto the bedside table.

"Your wife again?"

"Yup. Probably wondering where I've been all night, I think the answer I would give her is not quite what she is hoping to hear."

"That you got drunk and spent the night having sex with another woman? No, probably not what she wants to hear about now. She is probably hoping you are pining away for her, crying your eyes out, but...we have better things planned. Last night was so damn good, I don't want to go back to my hotel."

"I just want to stay in this little bubble, though I guess you probably want me to go back to my wife."

"No, you should not and will not run back to that cheating bitch and I don't want you to go anywhere. I want to stay in the bubble too. In fact, I think we should have a hot affair. Come with me, I was going to drive down to Italy. Three weeks, run away with me.  Can you take that much time off?"

"First of all, I am a volunteer, and I come and go as I please, they can't hold me there or fire me.  Second...seriously? You want me to just run off with you for three weeks and have an affair."

"Yeah. I haven't felt this good, this satisfied, in a long time. Come with me John. How long has your wife been screwing this guy?"

"Months."

"Then you owe her big time. And I owe my cheating asshole husband for banging my best friend, I need a better picture etched in my brain than her giving him a blow job. I want more pictures of you making love to me, I want to remember feeling you inside me. Help me erase him."

His brow furrowed. "So just run away from it all, the two of us, pretend none of it is happening? And after the three weeks?"

"We go back to our lives. No strings attached, John. Just a ton of sex and having fun for three weeks."

"Tempting. Three weeks of amazing sex with you, you want to just use each other for sex."

"It's more than that John and you know it. We care about each other, call it friends with benefits. Call it sex therapy, call it whatever. We are not using each other, not if we both know the score right from the outset.  We get along, we know each other, we will have a ton of fun, pretend we're tourists."

John could not believe what he was hearing. Harper wanted to just...run off to Italy and have a hot crazy sex fest? No strings, just three weeks with Harper, hot showers, good food and plenty of loving, what guy could turn that down, especially when offered by Harper Tracy.

"I need to get some stuff from the apartment, I need my passport and a few things."

"Now you're talking. Let's stake it out, and the minute she leaves you run in and grab your stuff, I'll drive the getaway car."

He laughed at that. "You are too much Harper. Weird, running into you of all people, I think you have just saved my life. Yes, let's do it. Let's run away and be irresponsible and have a hot affair.  Three weeks in Italy sounds like a dream come true."

"Maybe you're saving my life too, maybe we were meant to save each other. Maybe we should go have breakfast and make our getaway?"

"I need a shower first, someone got me all hot and sweaty." He placed a kiss on her lips then slid out of bed, Harper watching him go. She gave a low whistle, and heard his soft laugh as he disappeared into the bathroom.

John was already in the massive tiled shower, with all the jets turned on by the time Harper got there. She stepped in, laughing as the water hit her from all angles.

"I want one of these at my house, unusual to find something like this in Paris." She took the shampoo from John and dumped a bit into her hand, lathering up quickly.

"I love these kind of showers, the rain from the top is great. We can turn off some of the jets if its too much, but I really needed this."

"Nope, it's perfect." Harper could feel him step closer and push her wet hair off her neck, then his lips as he nibbled on her softly.

"Have you ever had sex in one of these showers?"

"No. Though I think you already know, I have had sex in a shower. Where didn't we have sex?  To be young and carefree again." Harper turned and wrapped her arms around his neck, lifting her head to meet his lips. She let herself get into it as his tongue invaded her mouth.

John pressed her up against the tiles, dropping gentle kisses on her body, drinking in the taste of her with the water sluicing down her body. He slid his hand down between her thighs, rubbing her gently, small circles, dipping his finger slightly into her as he felt her grow wet.

Harper leaned back, her eyes half closed as he manipulated her body with hands, lips and tongue. His hand was creating magic sensations that ran up and down her spine, giving her little shivers, the aching need growing in her belly. She stroked his hair, his back, then over his firm ass, squeezing his butt with one hand as she pulled him closer. She thrust her hips against the hand that was still between her thighs, grinding slightly against it.

She almost groaned in disappointment as his hand was removed, but his hands were now on the back of her thighs, lifting her, encouraging her to wrap her legs around his hips as he thrust in deeply. She pushed her hips towards him, tilting her pelvis slightly, relying on him to hold her, as he pushed her up against the tiles. 

They rocked together, their moans mingling with the soothing sound of water running over them. He nibbled at her neck and ears, finally giving this up to bury his head into her neck. He drove into her faster, her arms clutched around his shoulders, Harper feeling the tiles against her back.  The barrage of sensations assaulting her, him pounding into her body until she felt it rush over her, and his cry moments later.

He held her there for a minute until they both could breath again, and then released her, setting her down to her feet. She swayed slightly, but he held her up.

"Okay?"

"Mm, never better, where did that come from, god you are even better than I remember.   Now I really want one of these showers."

John just laughed and gave her a quick kiss and they rinsed off their bodies, finally stepping out and wrapping up in the large fluffy towels.

"I need clean clothes."  Harper had wandered back into the bedroom, and was holding up her not so fresh thong.

"We can check out, go back and get your stuff from your hotel...maybe after we stop at my apartment, my place is closer.  Do you have a rental car booked?"

"No, I don't.  Minor detail."

"Right, we can pick one up as we leave town. Let's go get some breakfast.  There is a great cafe right around the corner."

They gathered up their clothes and went down to check out, John noting that Harper simply tucked her underwear into her bag.

The clerk smirked slightly, noting the lack of luggage, but John just signed the bill and they stopped at the cafe for breakfast, then back to his apartment.  John had checked his messages and Kem had said she was on her way to the airport, she had to go back to Kinshasa and she would see him there.  They needed to talk.

"We need to talk?"  He clicked his phone off in disgust.  "She should have thought of that before she screwed Michel." 

He unlocked the apartment door, noting the silence, the empty feel of the place.  It was kind of empty, they had not spent a lot of time there, it was just a place to him, never really home. He didn't feel like he even had a real home anymore, he had sold the house in Chicago not long after he and Kem reconciled, knowing Kem would never want to live there again, that they would probably live overseas permanently.  Her place in Africa had been home at one point, but now...things were so tense between them and she was away so much it not longer felt good being there.

"Is she really gone?"  Harper looked around.  "Nice digs."

She knew enough about Paris to realize this apartment was in a prime location, probably worth at least a million Euros, even being quite modest in size.  It was elegant though, well furnished, had a decent sized kitchen and two full bedrooms.

"Yes, it's pretty nice all right."  He checked the master bedroom.  "Her passport is gone, and her bag, yeah, she's left.  Nice of her to stick around for a chat, but of course her clinic is all important."

Harper ran her fingers along the mantle, looking at the pictures as John grabbed his passport and dug through the dresser drawers for some clothes.  Kem certainly was a very attractive woman, she had to admit it.  John always had an eye for a good looking lady, but Kem was a surprise, so not his usual type.  He had always seemed so attracted to blonds, and Kem was polar opposite.  She looked at the massive bed.

"Do you think she fucked him in your bed?"

John stopped short.  "Thanks for that, I was trying not to picture it, but I am pretty sure he was here."  She could hear the hurt and anger in his voice, regretting the comment as soon as it was out of her mouth.

He picked up his bag and walked out of the bedroom, Harper followed him, turning him, reaching up around his neck to kiss him greedily, urgently, she felt an unquenchable need to have him again.  To her, having him in his own apartment where his wife betrayed him was a bit of sweet revenge, and she was going to make sure he had new memories before they left.  Memories of Harper, making love to her, not to the woman who had so obviously broken his heart.

Harper could feel him against her, he was hard as a rock, and she was getting more than a little damp.  She wanted to rip his clothes off, and she was already trying to work at his shirt buttons, her fingers fumbling in her haste to get at him. She let her hand slide down and rub him through his dress pants, coaxing a soft little moan out of his lips. Harper had been able to get enough buttons undone to bare his smooth warm expanse of chest, and she ran her fingertips across the firm flesh.

John kissed her hard, his body molded against her. Her arm went up around his neck, her hips moving towards him, rubbing sensuously against his erection as his tongue sought hers.

John slipped off shoes while simultaneously shrugging off his jacket, leaving it where it fell all without letting his mouth leave hers. Harper worked the last few buttons on his shirt, John ran his hands up and down her body, then cupped her breasts with his hands, then moving back down over her bare legs.

Harper had his shirt undone and they wrestled it off together as she felt her dress hike up, his hand up between her thighs now, seeking her slick warmth.

"No underwear, I like it."  He whispered against her skin as he circled his finger over her pillowy soft and sensitive skin, her hips bucking against him as he toyed with her.

She was so incredibly wet, he wasn't even sure they were going to make it to the bedroom. All he could think about was being inside her, the smell of her arousal was filling the air.

Harper managed to undo his belt and pants, rubbing his erection through the fabric as she worked at them, he was as ready for her as she was for him.  She wanted him to throw her on the bed and fuck her, she wanted him so much she could barely wait to get his clothes off of him.  The bedroom was too far away, she pulled at him, grabbing his neck and bringing him against her as she let herself fall backwards.

They landed on the sofa with him on top, Harper pushing herself up against his seeking fingers as they moved into her. She pushed his boxers down enough to free his erection, stroking him, wrapping her fingers around him.

 _"I need you, now.  I can't wait, I want you inside me."_ She moaned against his hair as he bit her neck and sucked on the sensitive pulse points.  He answered by removing his fingers and driving into her body, the urge to consummate too strong to resist.

John watched her face in the soft dim light coming in from the tall windows along the wall. How her mouth opened slightly as he ravaged her, her eyes glittering through half closed lids. She was so damn beautiful and right now,  and for this space in time, he possessed her, she was his.

Their bodies were demanding, each lost in unquenchable lust, Harper's warmth drew him in, her legs wrapping up around him, allowing him to sink in deep with every stroke. He could feel the tip of one of her heels against his ass as they moved. It was sexy, and hot, and...he was losing his mind, he loved taking her like this, with those high heels still on her.

Harper was a very vocal woman, and it was so damn enticing, the sounds coming from her lips were making him crazy and he drove into her harder, which elicited a long moan from her throat.

Harper at this point was so lost in the sensations coursing through her, how great it felt as their bodies slammed together. She tilted her pelvis upwards, allowing him even more access and clung to him, digging into his back as he pounded into her. She pulled her legs up a bit further, wanting to get him into her deeper. She vaguely realized that she hadn't taken off her shoes, and they were in the way, she moved her hand slightly and managed to get them off and randomly tossed them.

So much better, she wrapped her legs tighter, getting some leverage against his back to lift her hips up a bit higher.

 _"Oh, baby, yes."_ His voice against her ear, a little moan of appreciation as their angles changed slightly.

Harper's breasts were heaving, her breath in short gasps as she could feel it start in her belly and roll swiftly down into her core. Her body convulsed as her muscles constricted, and the world seemed to stop for a moment.

 _"Oh yes, yes,_ ** _yes!_** _"_ The intensity of her release took her breath away and her eyes snapped shut as she let it take her, the waves rolling over her as he continued to move.

John lifted his head enough to watch as she came, the sharp intake of breath, her parted lips and the look that came over her face was simply entrancing.

John buried his head back into her neck, not stopping for a second as she sobbed in his ear, continuing his onslaught on her body until he was rewarded with another cry from Harper, her legs clamping around him so hard it almost hurt, her back arching.

 _"John!"_ Her voice echoed in his head as he climaxed, her hot wetness sucking him in and creating another level of pleasure. His hips bucked as he drove into her, as instinct took over, spilling his heat deep inside, the rush in his ears drowning out everything but his pounding heart.

He finally stilled, feeling her hands run up into his hair as he panted, gasping for air, still pushed up deep inside her. He could feel himself twitching slightly.

 _"Oh wow."_ John could barely breath, almost pinching himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

Harper lay under him, luxuriating as the waves continued to wash over her, the feel of his body weight covering her. Their bodies intimately entwined, still connected, neither of them able to move.

Harper played with his hair, running her fingers through it randomly, then trailed her fingers down his back, feeling the grooves her fingernails had left in his back.  Her dress was still bunched up under her, it had been furious, unthinking and passionate, but truly fantastic.

He finally moved back onto his knees, Harper grasped his shoulder to pull herself up.  He moved to his feet, bringing her with him, she found her dress coming up over the top of her head, his lips met hers again as he dropped it carelessly to the floor.  He ran his hands down her back, her skin so warm and perfect. She tipped her head back slightly as he nibbled at her neck, moving down to caress her collarbone.

He was backing her towards the bedroom, both of them constantly touching and caressing each other, until she felt him reach behind her, and flip open the covers.  He threw her back onto the bed, then pinned her down, teasing her nipples, gently nipping and sucking. He kept her hands pinned above her head, making her squirm and moan.

"I want to touch you."  She whispered and he released her, still lavishing attention on her.

Harper worked her hand down his body, and gently stroked him until he was hard and ready, then she pulled him so he was between her parted thighs. He entered her with a gentle but firm thrust, and they rocked together, kissing and then locking eyes as they moved against each other.

Harper felt like this was making love, not just having sex, he was making love to her. John brushed his fingertips over her face, as if memorizing her with his fingertips. He watched her closely as he used long strokes in and out. She was beautiful, her eyes slightly dusky with desire, her lips parted and hair fanned out on the pillow. Her soft scent filled his nostrils and he inhaled her deeply, loving how it all felt, their bodies entwined amongst the soft sheets.

Harper looked up into his dark chocolate eyes and felt mesmerized as she ran her fingers across the nape of his neck then into his hair. Her other hand stroked up and down his back slowly, as she felt the dips and valleys. So warm and alive, smooth and firm, it felt so wonderful to be in his arms, having him love her like this. He moved very slightly and changed his speed and she felt the tingle start in her belly and work downwards.

Small soft oh's of pleasure escaped her parted lips as she let her hips rise up to meet him faster, she brought her knees up instinctively, feeling her toes curl as she started to climax. John could feel her smooth walls begin to contract slightly, then relax, and he knew she was almost there and it hit like a tidal wave. He could feel her clamp tight around him, almost vice like, and her low cry. Her pulsing depths and hot wetness brought his own climax to the surface, the overwhelming pleasure as he continued to thrust up inside her, spilling into her.

His last few thrusts were hard and deep, like he couldn't get far enough inside her, even though he knew he was buried inside her as far as he could possibly be. He turned them enough to take his weight off her and lay shaking slightly, with his head buried in her neck.

Harper could feel her limbs tingling and John's warm body resting almost on her, but without any real weight. She kept her arms around his shoulder, she could feel him twitching slightly.

"Are you okay? You're shaking."

"Fine, I'm fine. That was just...really intense, the body shake means I need to chill for a bit. We have had some extremely crazy hot sex. Sorry, I might be done for a bit."

Harper gave a soft laugh. "Intense sex, amazing sex, and you have nothing to apologize for. How many times have we actually done it in the past 24 hours?"

"Uh, I lost count. Quite a few."

"I think we broke my record, more than once."

"Maybe.  That action on the couch was something else, you are like my drug, I cannot get enough of you."

"I hear you."

They finally dressed, John left the bed messy and unmade, dropping his dirty clothes in the hamper and dressing in fresh and casual wear.  He opened a compartment and pulled out a wad of Euros, Harper's eyebrows went up slightly as he clicked the combination lock shut.

"Wow, that's a bit of cash."

"Emergency funds, and hey, this is an emergency, I need to get out of town in a hurry right?  I don't want to stop at the bank right now."

"Uh huh.  No arguments from me."  She nodded towards the bed they 'd messed up having sex. "Leaving that for the maid?"

"Uh, actually yes, we have someone that comes in and cleans, and we should probably get out of here before she shows up.  I forgot this is her day in, she could have gotten quite the show."

He grabbed the final items for his bag, and locked the door as he walked away.  He had left very little of his personal stuff in the apartment, he was not sure he would be back.


	6. What Happens in....Monte Carlo...

John held Harper's hand as they walked out of the car rental, and stopped in front of the convertible that was now waiting for them at the curb.  Harper laughed lightly as John opened the trunk and dropped in their bags.

"Wow, nice.  I have never ridden in a Maserati."

"I think you will like it.  It's a fun car, fast and relatively comfortable."  He opened the passenger door and she slid into the seat.  She had forgotten that John was such a gentleman when out in public.  She loved it, he was an animal in the bedroom, but the total opposite when they went out.  She watched as he settled into the driver's seat, then the engine purred to life. 

A few minor seat adjustments and they were on the road.

"We have a bit of a drive, but let me know if and when you want to stop.  So Monaco?  Do you want to stop anywhere else in France?"

"I have been to Cannes and Nice, but never Monte Carlo, so lets just go straight there."

They'd had some time to talk on the way down to Southern France, they'd hopped on the TGV, deciding the train was a much faster option to leave Paris than renting a car and driving all the way down south.  That is what Harper had planned to do originally anyway, she was not sure she was going to even rent a car, but John insisted they should.  He had driven in Europe before, so she agreed.

"Sure, why don't we plan for a couple nights, there is a great hotel overlooking the ocean, if we can get a room we'll stay there.  Then we can head down the Italian coastline, it's beautiful, or we can go across to Venice, then come back and hit Florence, Rome, and maybe get to Amalfi and go out to see a couple Islands?"

"Hm, so much to think about.  This is amazing John, I cannot believe we are doing this."

"Me either, just think, we haven't seen each other for what...12 years?  Seems like yesterday, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does.  I wish we had the time to make a trip like this when we were dating, but no way with a med student's hours, or med student budgets.  Remember those crazy shifts, and we would be opposite.  Sneaking off and making out all over the hospital?  Remember trying to get out of the chapel?  We'd just started making out and the nuns came in?"

"I remember.  Or calling in to say I was going to be late, that I'd overslept so we could have sex?  Life was so simple back then."

"No kidding."  She leaned back in the seat and watched the scenery go by as they whipped down the main road towards Monaco.  It wasn't long before they were arriving in Monaco, and John drove up to the hotel.

"Yes?  No?"

"Oh yeah, this is beautiful John.  I'm in, can we get a Sea View Room?"

"I am sure we can, it's still a bit off season for the tourists, I bet they'll have one available."

They valeted the car and checked in, Harper running out on the large patio to admire the view.

"Gorgeous, you checked us in for how long?

"Two nights?  We can sight see for a couple days, then we are off to Italy."

"Time to freshen up."  Harper smiled suggestively, then started to take of what little clothing she was wearing and sashaying off into the bathroom.  John could not help  but smile as she left the room wearing barely anything.

"This woman is going to kill me."  He mumbled to himself, but he was still grinning, not at all upset at the thought.

He tucked his few things away quickly in the dresser, and then took his personal items into the bathroom.  Harper had washed her face and was brushing her hair, still standing in her thong and sexy bra.  He came up behind her and lifted her hair away from her neck, kissing the sensitive spot at the nape.  Harper exhaled softly, enjoying the gentle caress of his lips, leaning back into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her slim waist.

"Don't stop."  She whispered softly, then turning her head just enough so he could kiss her, his hands brushing her skin, sending electric sparks through her body.  She turned in his arms, letting him back her up against the marble countertop, then he lifted her so she was perched on the edge.  

Harper automatically pulled him towards her so he was standing between her slightly parted legs, wrapping her arms up around his neck as he tipped his head down and took command of her mouth.  He tongue traced her lips, then probed and explored, her hand wandering up in to his hair, the other sliding around his broad shoulders.  

His hand started resting on her hips, moving upwards to wrap into her hair, the other snaking around her naked waist, supporting her back as they kissed and teased each other. Harper started to work on his shirt, sliding it back off his shoulders, then her hands went to his pants, unbuckling his belt and dropping them into a pool around his ankles.  He kicked them off, without breaking the kiss, and she next worked on his boxers as her freed her from the lacy bra, tossing it aside before removing her underwear.

"I love these sexy little scraps you wear."  He dropped them to the floor.  "But I like you even better without them."

They were both breathing heavily now, she pulled him back towards her, wrapping her legs up around his hips, bringing him into her with a soft moan.

"You feel so good, I am not sure I can get enough of this."  Harper purred in his ear as they both paused slightly before he started with a long slow stroke.

"Oh Harper.  You drive me insane, you are so damn sexy."  He groaned against her mouth, sucking on her bottom lip as he continued to make love to her.  

Harper tipped her head back, letting him have access to her neck, kissed along her jawline, then buried his face as she started to make soft little 'oh's' of pleasure, becoming progressively louder as their bodies slapped together.  Their movements became faster and more urgent, as did her cries, until she was almost sobbing, coming to a crescendo as she felt the pleasure spread from her core all the way down to her toes.

"Oh John, oh, yes, yes, YES!"  The last one almost a shout as she felt her muscles lock around him, making him still momentarily, before he took up the long slow stroke again.  "Oh god, John, oh god." 

It was almost becoming a mantra as she felt the waves start to wash over her, she was half sobbing, half moaning the words as they both lost themselves in the act.  She felt like it went on forever, him thrusting into her over and over as she totally let go, her core pulsing as he moved urgently now, finally climaxing, taking Harper over the edge with him.  She let out a loud cry as it hit her, wrapping her arms and legs around John tightly, gasping for air as he breathed heavily against her neck leaning into her, supporting himself against the countertop as she collapsed into his chest.  They were propping each other up, both afraid to let go, to break the spell.

"Where ever that came from, I want to do it again later."  Harper giggled when she could finally speak.  "Shit, where did you learn to do that to a girl, I am glad I have you for three weeks."

John gave a muffled laugh, his head still against her neck.  "I am glad I have you too, that was seriously great, I'm sorry, but I don't remember it ever being quite like that, if we can make it happen again, we will."

He finally peeled himself off of her, and helped her down from the counter top.

"I need a shower, care to join me?"  Harper reached over and flicked on the water, waiting for it to warm up to a lukewarm temperature before stepping in, with John following right behind.  

He grabbed the shampoo turning back to see her eyes sparkling at him.

"What?"

"Your back, I am so sorry, you look like you've been in a fight with an alley cat.  I am going to have to clean those up for you.  I think I bit you."  Harper reached up and ran her fingers gently over the fleshy part of his shoulder.

"Well, I guess I will be keeping my shirt on at the beach, or people or going to think you are abusing me.  You bit me?  I didn't even feel it."

Harper laughed out loud.  "You know you just had great sex when...you don't realize that the woman has taken a layer of your skin off with her nails.  It might hurt later, I think I drew blood on your back."

"Good thing you're a doctor then, you can give me some first aid."  He finished rinsing off, then stepped out slinging a towel around his waist casually, then wiping a spot on the steamy mirror to inspect his shoulder.  "Wow, I am shocked I didn't feel that, you left quite a mark.  You are my little sex kitten, claws and all."

Harper was now behind him, one of the fluffy towels around her like a sarong, leaning in to kiss his back gently, covering each of his wounds with a gentle caress.

"Sorry, I didn't realize I was doing it, seriously, I didn't purposely mean to do this to your back."

"Ah, don't worry about it.  I didn't think you did it on purpose, and it's a small price to pay for sex like that, it was amazing.  I'd do it again, even if I have to suffer from an attack by my own little alley cat."

"Still, let me clean them up for you.  Go sit on the bed."  Harper dug in her kit, she always had a bit of disinfectant and cotton pads, she brought them out, John had put on some fresh boxers, and was laying face down on the bed, his head on one of the soft downy pillows.

 She ran her hands over his back gently, then cleaned each mark carefully, finishing with the bite mark, even though she didn't break the skin.  Once she was done she put everything aside and lay down on the bed beside him, rubbing his lower back.

"Mm, that feels nice."  John sighed softly as he enjoyed the light touch of her hands.  She carefully traced the scars on his back, then kissed them.

"John."  Harper was staring at the scars with a frown.

"What baby?"  

"I don't like to bring this up again, but...the stabbing was pretty serious, right?  He just missed..."  She couldn't even say it.

"Missed what?  Paralyzing me by millimetres?  Yes.  It was serious, they infused a ton of blood, several litres, had trouble keeping my crit up, and they almost didn't get me through surgery, lucky Aunspaugh was there, and Benton.  I was the lucky one, Lucy died of PE right after her surgery, she apparently woke up for a bit, then PE and she was gone."

Harper moved beside him, kissing his shoulder, then his temple, turning her head so she could look at him.

"You almost died and I didn't know.  How could we have lost touch like that, you went through so much."

"More than you know.  I think I am like a cat, nine lives, but I have no idea how many I have left.  Had a gun held to my head in the Congo, have been in the ER numerous times with people shooting at each other, watched a girl blow a patients brains out while I was right there, not sure I have many chances left really."

"Don't even joke about it John.  It's not funny."

"You're right, it's not, but I have to keep my sense of humour somehow, I have watched so many people die, lost way too many people close to me.  It's not in the least bit funny, and I have struggled with all of it.  You can never really know, Harper, I have had to let so much go, it feels like every time I get close to being happy, it all gets taken away."

She reached over and smoothed back his hair, giving him another kiss.

"I'm sorry.  I really am John, I had no idea.  Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not right now.  How about we go have some dinner now that my personal physician has taken care of my cat bite and scratches."

Harper laughed softly.  "Yeah, lets go get something to eat, we have worked up an appetite."  

She slid off the bed, he noted that she was wearing an oversized t-shirt that looked suspiciously like his, but he didn't mind.

He got up and dressed quickly into some casual but dressy clothes, Harper was in another dress, light but classy, so he knew they could go just about anywhere for dinner.  They stopped at the concierge and got a few suggestions for local restaurants before they left the hotel.

"What do you feel like eating?"  John let Harper choose the restaurant, and soon they were seated on he patio of an elegant but slightly less formal restaurant.  

"Mm, it all looks so good John, I am not sure what to have."  Harper was scanning the menu with a slight frown.

John could tell the look, she was scanning the menu with a slightly worried look, and he knew it was a bit over budge for where she would normally eat.  He ran down the menu quickly and made some choice of himself, then offered to order for her.

"You think I can't decide on my own dinner?"

"I am sure you can, you just seem to be a bit concerned about what to get, so...I have an idea of what might be good, I know food Harper."

Harper stared at her menu then back at John.

"I can't pay for this John, it's too much."  Harper said very quietly, clearly embarrassed.

He reached over the table and took her hand.  "It's okay, my treat, don't even worry about it, just order what you want.  You know what I'm having?"  He listed off the salad, and meal, and suggested a couple of appetizers they could share.

Harper was still a bit quiet.

"Hey, what's up, you are too quiet all the sudden."

"I didn't invite you to come with me to get a free holiday, John, I wanted to spend time with you.  Now it looks like I am some kind of...gold digger or something, you are paying for everything already and we are only in Monaco.  I feel weird about it."

"Except I know that you aren't Harper.  I honestly don't mind paying for the dinner, or the hotel, or the car or whatever.  You know, I happen to be rich because I was born with money, and it means nothing if you have no one to share it with."  He steepled his hand under his chin looking at her seriously.  "I know you don't expect me to pay for everything, and we can tone down the hotels and stuff if it makes you that uncomfortable."

Harper was still looking at him with a slight frown.  "John, I know your family has money, but...do you personally have so much that you don't even blink at a menu when the food is this expensive, or about renting an Italian sports car?"

John sighed slightly.  "You don't need to worry Harper, I have money."

She kept looking at him, and he knew he was just going to have to tell her.

"Okay, look.  My grandmother died a few years ago, and...she left me everything.  Okay?  My very wealthy grandmother left me her entire estate.  I make more every day in interest than you make in a year busting your ass for the Air Force."

"You don't even know how much I make."

"Still, I make more daily than you do in a year, trust me.  Harper, please don't make a big deal out of this, we are supposed to just be having fun.  I'm still just me, and I know you are not out for my money, so relax.  Let yourself get a little crazy, if its too much, believe me, I will let you know. Deal?"

"Deal."  She finally smiled and looked at the menu again.  "Okay, a walk on the wild side, order something for me."

"Now we are talking."  He perused the menu, and was ready when the waiter came by.  He ordered full meals for both of them, the appetizers and a very nice bottle of wine.

From there the conversation flowed and they had a great time catching up, sharing bites of food as they made their way through the meal.

He filled her in on her grandmother dying and how it happened he went to Africa the first time.  The break up with Abby, going after Luka, his thing with Debbie, and the whole story of Kem.

She shared how she met her husband and some of the lighter side of her life in Germany, a bit of history on her life from the time she left Chicago.

By the time they were done with dessert, it was getting late in the evening and they were both exhausted.  They went back to their hotel, both putting on comfortable sleep wear and curling up together in the bed.

"That was really fun, thank you."  Harper propped herself up and gazed at him, musing at the strange fate that had brought them here.  

"You're welcome, I had a really great time too."  

"I should take a look at your alley cat scratches before we go to sleep, do they hurt?"

"Nope they don't, but you can look."  He rolled onto his stomach, letting her lift the back of his shirt.  She fussed a bit and insisted on cleaning them again, making him take his shirt off entirely.  Once she was done, she dropped some kisses onto his back then made him roll over, straddling his legs, leaning down to kiss him.

"Oh you are just trying to get my clothes off, is that it?"  John teased her gently, tugging on the shirt she was wearing again.  "You are stealing my clothes."

"Like getting your clothes off is any sort of challenge, I can get you naked just about anytime and you know it.  This shirt is really comfortable, but I can...take it off if you really want it back."  She grabbed the bottom and pulled it up over her head.

John watched her, realizing that she was now wearing absolutely nothing, and he felt himself harden immediately.  He stared at her small waist tapering into full hips, long slim legs.  His gaze traveled upwards to take in her full breast as she ran her hands down his chest.

Neither of them spoke, Harper simply leaned forward and kissed him, then worked his boxers off, adding them to the pile of clothes by the bed.  She wrapped her hand around him, stroking firmly as his hand traveled up from her hips, cupping her magnificent breasts and running a thumb over them.

"You are still so incredibly beautiful, so sexy."  He said in a low voice.

He watched the smile tug at the corner of her lips, her hazel eyes reflecting desire down at him.  She pulled at him to bring him up to sitting, leaning in for a very deep kiss, probing and exploring his mouth, wrapping her hand around the back of his neck, mussing up his hair as her fingers traveled continuously through the short soft strands.  She adjusted and kneeled over him, straddling his lap, taking him in fully.  She could hear his sharp inhale, and his hands clutched her hips keeping her still while he took couple deep breaths.

Even with the number of times they'd loved each other in the past 24 hours, she still almost set him off immediately, he needed to take a few moments to regain his control before he loosened his grip.  As soon as she felt his hands move up her body, she started to gyrate, circling her hips at first then starting to moving up and down on him, their gaze locking on each other.

John placed his hand on either side of her face, bringing her closer so they could kiss, explore each other with mouths and tongues, their probing falling into rhythm with the bobbing of her hips.  Harper finally broke the kiss, her panting becoming to heavy to continue, she instead pulled his mouth to her breasts, slowing slightly, letting him tease her with his tongue, adding fuel to the desire burning through her like wildfire.  

She pumped her hips faster, letting it wash over her, her sobbing gasps of pleasure issuing none stop from her mouth until she let out a cry and finally stilled, collapsing against him, feeling him still hard inside her, his mouth caressing the sensitive spots on her neck as she leaned into him.  Once she was able, she pulled herself up a bit, wrapping her legs behind him with her feet on the bed, and started again, leaning back into his supporting arms, propping one hand behind her on the bed.

She let her eyes close, fully enjoying the feeling of their intimate connection, and when her muscles gave their final earth shattering contraction, she heard his low groan and felt his heat filling her.  She let him finish then finally flopped onto the bed, he dropped back beside her and pulled her in to cuddle against him.

"I can't believe we both had energy for that, but I am glad we did."  He said softly into her hair.

"Me too, the sex just keeps getting better and better every time.  It's funny, how comfortable I feel with you, like we could do just about anything together."  Harper was trying to put her feeling into words.

"We can and we have, not like either of us have ever had a lot of inhibitions in the bedroom.  We are both more experienced now, but neither of us was exactly innocent the first time we dated.  We have always had exceptionally great sex."

"True, but...I have to admit my ex was not really that adventurous or open in the bedroom, and I almost forgot I had this side to me."

"Which side, the insatiable sex kitten?  Which I love by the way, don't change."

Harper giggled.  "Yeah, the animal in the bedroom.  He was the kind of guy where it would be one time, get on top of me, wham bam, and then he would roll over and be snoring.  I think I almost got used to it, and forgot how much fun sex really is, you know?  Was it like that for you?"

"Thankfully no, but then again, I didn't marry one person 10 years ago and stay with them.  I'm a bit of a slut compared to you, and the longest relationship was Kem.  It is a bit hard to admit, but it is difficult to get to the point of boring sex when your longest relationship was about 6 years, during which time we took a break from each other and slept with other people.  I honestly don't know if I could last in a relationship where the sex got...routine?"

"Routine...yeah, that is a good description.  I mean it was pretty good at first, but then it got into this pattern and...married couple boring sex, that is what it was.  With you, it's different, I feel like you won't judge me or think badly if I happen to like getting a little...dirty in the bedroom.  My ex was a bit straight laced.  Was Kem?"

John laughed.  "Hell no, she's French Congolese, she grew up in Paris, London and the Congo mainly, and she embraced the very open French attitude about sex and the human body.  Nudity is no big deal to her for example."

Harper ran her fingers down his chest, then traced his scar lightly.  

"Ah, so you have pretty much been having great sex the whole time?"

"Mostly.  Not every time has been perfect, but I have enjoyed myself a bit more in the bedroom than you have from the sounds of it."

"Not anymore.  I am going to make the most of this trip."  She yawned widely and snuggled closer, closing her eyes, drifting into a contented and deep sleep.

 


	7. The Perfect Day

She opened her eyes slowly, a little disoriented about where she was at first.  She could feel an arm draped over her, and a warm body against her back, soft warm breath on her neck.  She felt almost glued to him, their naked bodies still entwined from the snuggling as they fell asleep in the wake of an amazing sexual encounter.

It flooded back...John.  She was with John, in Monte Carlo, having a fling.  She could feel the contentment, the happiness at being with him again.  He just made her feel good, and not only in the deeply sexually satisfied kind of way.  He made her feel loved and wanted in a way she hadn't felt for years, she was recognizing just how dysfunctional her relationship with her husband had become.   How truly unhappy she had been without even admitting it to herself. 

She carefully rolled over trying not to wake him, looking at how young he appeared when he slept.  The lines of worry gone from his face, she recognized now just how much stress he had been holding onto.  She cared about this man immensely she realized, he truly was a good person, and he'd had some serious struggles over the years, he had matured.  Well of course he had, it had been quite a number of years since they'd last seen each other, he was a grown man, not the young medical student she'd dated.

She kissed his lips gently, then gave him a gentle push, he mumbled slightly in his sleep and let her roll him onto his back, turning his head away on the pillow.

Harper was wide awake now, the room was brightening as the sun started to climb into the sky, and she wanted to get out and enjoy the day.  First, though, she might enjoy being with John, she had promised she was going to make the most of this holiday.  She trickled her fingers down his chest, then followed with her lips, hitting the sensitive spots on his torso as she went. 

Her hand cupped him, squeezing gently, then moving to stroke him, finally moving down to swirl her tongue over the tip of his hardening cock, finally taking him into her mouth.

John was semi awake when Harper started to touch him, feeling like maybe he was having some sort of erotic dream.  He felt the warmth of her hands, then the damp heat of her mouth, her tongue licking, and the slight suction as she wrapped her lips around him.  He kept his eyes closed, but slid his hand down to wrap his fingers into her hair, moaning softly in appreciation.

Harper knew John was now awake, she flipped back the covers, feeling the rush of cool air wash over them, looking upwards to his face briefly as she released him from her mouth and started licking around his shaft.  His eyes were closed, but she could tell he was fully in the moment now, a slight smile on his lips as she continued to work him.  His low groan as she took him all the way into her mouth again, tightening her lips around him as she worked up and down, bobbing her head, gently sucking and making sure to hit just the right spot with her tongue, taking him almost into her throat.  She tightened her mouth around him even more, moving faster, wrapping her hand around his base and stroking in time with her movements, unable to take all of him in.

" _Harper_."  Her name came out as a breathless gasp as she cupped his balls, massaging gently while not missing a beat.  She knew he was going to climax soon, she intensified her efforts, his hand gently guiding her, the little sound from the back of his throat letting her know to be ready.

John was trying to hold back, but Harper knew what she was doing, she caressed that oh so tender spot and his release came, exquisite and intense, Harper still moving, sucking hard until he finished.

She finally let him out of her mouth, resting her head on his thigh as he stroked her hair.

"I don't think I will forget that wake up call in a hurry.  Damn, woman, that was incredible."  John tilted his head so he could look down at her, Harper remembered what he liked, that was in no doubt whatsoever.  He could not remember the last time a woman woke him up quite like that.  

"I like doing that for you, I know you enjoy it."  She finally moved, sliding up to lay beside him.

He wrapped his hand into her hair, bringing her in for a kiss, his other hand moving down her body, knowing she would be wet, that it had turned her on.  It always turned her on when she gave him a blow job, and he loved returning the favour for her.  He stroked her gently as they kissed, sliding a finger into her and rubbing the small sensitive spot inside.  She moaned into his mouth as he toyed with her.  He broke the kiss, moving down her body, and pushing her onto her back, adding his mouth to what his hand was doing, nibbling and sucking her swollen nub as his finger kept moving inside her.

" _John, oh god, John_."  Harper was writhing under his touch, his mouth sweet and warm, the combination of that with what his hand was doing was unbearably delicious.

She could feel the tingling starting already, the rush as her back arched involuntarily, her hips pushing up against his mouth and hand.  She cried out loudly, feeling herself pulsing after the first massive contraction, his ministrations continuing until she came a second time.  She felt him move up her body, his erection against her leg before he thrust into her, causing her to cry out again.

John started to stroke into her, long and slow, he could hear the soft little gasps from Harper, her hips rising up to meet him.  He could feel her responding, the pulsing of her smooth walls as he moved in her slick heat.  He watched her face, her eyes were glittering under half open lids, her mouth slightly open, head tipped back.  Her soft 'ah' sound was starting to become urgent, both of them increasing the pace until it hit, the world seeming to stop for a split second as he felt his release, followed by her calling his name and the tightening, signalling her climax.

Their bodies were entwined, tangled in a knot of sheets, both sweaty but incredibly content.

Harper kissed him deeply, her tongue probing his mouth, their tastes combining as she massaged his tongue with hers.  They lay together for some time, kissing and cuddling until they both recovered from the exertion.

"Time for a shower."  John finally disentangled himself from the limbs wrapped around him.  "I'm starving."

Harper chuckled softly.  "I just bet you are, we expended a lot of energy.  I could use some breakfast too."

"Come shower with me, and then we can go out, looks like another warm and sunny day.  Maybe we can sightsee this morning, then find a beach to relax on this afternoon."

Harper followed John within moments, he had the water turned on in the shower already, he stepped in tugging on her hand.  He dumped a bit of shampoo into his hands, washing her hair for her, massaging her scalp carefully, letting her rinse it out as he washed his own.  She massaged in some conditioner then started to soap his body for him.  A few minutes later they both were out of the shower, towelling off, John dropping his towel and casually walking back into the bedroom, Harper following suite.  

She admired his finely toned butt as dug in the drawers, pulling out some casual but classy clothes.  Harper dug out another one of her sundresses, finding them both comfortable and dressy enough to satisfy the requirements.  Monte Carlo tended to be a bit more upscale in a lot of the areas, and she didn't want to be wandering around in her very casual shorts.  She also knew John found her little dresses very sexy, and she wanted to dress well for him as well as for herself.  

She added a light touch of makeup, fixed up her hair, and they were both ready to go.

They spent a romantic and magical day, his arm often around her waist, the light touches and affectionate kisses making her feel incredibly special.  It was good for the soul, she though, how attentive and wonderful he was, much like he had been when they dated.  The guy was a bit of a romantic, she had noticed it before, and it was one of the things she really loved about him.  He was never afraid to be loving in public.

After lunch they returned to the room, both changing for the beach.  They rented loungers, laying comfortably sipping drinks as they enjoyed the sunshine and fresh breeze of the sea.

"This is so perfect."  Harper rolled her head towards John, his eyes were hidden behind sunglasses, but his hand reached over and picked up hers. 

He was stroking her palm with his thumb, then he brought her fingers up to his mouth, nibbling and kissing each one in turn.

"Stop that, you're getting me all hot and bothered."  Harper whispered in mock irritation.

"That is the point, we haven't made love in...almost 8 hours."  He whispered back.

"You say I'm insatiable." 

"You are, but I am not complaining."  John squeezed her hand.

Harper squeezed back, then sighed. "Tell me about...Abby.  You talked about breaking up but tell me more about it."

John lifted his sunglasses and frowned at her. "Why?  You really want to hear about my ex girlfriends?"

"Have you ever talked much about her after you broke up?"

"A bit, with a good friend of mine, sure.  It was a tough year, I cared about her a lot, we just weren't right for each other.  I think maybe...it was really the circumstances that brought us together rather than us being truly compatible."

"Circumstances?"

"Yeah, circumstances." He gave a bit of a sigh.  "I'm going to tell you something, it's still hard for me to tell people, but I feel like I can trust you."

"Of course you can John.  Nothing could be that bad...well aside from murdering someone."  She noticed his face when she said it.  "Sorry, please tell me."

"After I was stabbed, I felt pretty guilty Harper.  Like if I had done something different that day, paid more attention to Lucy, been a better teacher, anything, that she might not have died.  I had a lot of nightmares, I couldn't sleep most nights, I didn't want to sleep because I could still see her face.  The look in her eyes, she was terrified, she knew she was going to die, and I saw it every time I closed my eyes."

Harper gripped his hand tightly, sitting up on the edge of her lounger.  "John, you know it wasn't your fault."

"I played a part, a lot of people did, but I have gotten past it.  Anyway, I couldn't sit around, so I pushed myself to go back to work, I needed to be doing something, to keep my mind occupied.  I went back too soon, and it was really difficult, the first time I had to go into Curtain 3 to see a patient, I almost couldn't do it.  So I was in pain physically and emotionally, I wasn't sleeping much, it was overload.  I started to overmedicate, take a few extra pain pills here and there just to get through the day.  Being a doctor, well it's easy to suck someone in to refilling your prescription, I had two doctors at County filling them for me, it was way too easy."

Harper was watching him closely, getting a bad feeling about where this conversation was going.

"It was even easier to become addicted to them.  Justifying it, it's just a little bit more than prescribed...until just the pain pills weren't enough and I started to inject  things like Fentanyl and Demerol, the heavy duty ones.  It is scary how simple it was to slide a needle into your pocket during a trauma...I would only take the ones that had been injected through the IV line to avoid contamination.  Then I got caught."

"You were a drug addict?"

"Mmhm, I loved my pharmaceuticals, top grade stuff.  Between my prescriptions and the stuff I snagged at work I was high 24/7.  If I started to come down, I just got another fix.  Abby caught me injecting Fentanyl and narced on me to Mark.  They suspended me, and told me go to rehab or I was fired.  I walked out, but Benton came after me and made me get on the plane, took me to Atlanta and I checked into a 90 day program."

"Dr. Benton?"

"That's the one.  He is a good guy, though a slave driver and we have not always seen eye to eye on things.  Benton and I have a lot of history over the years, but I owe him my life, Harper.  If he had not come after me, I might be dead or living on a street corner, I was coming down and my drug source was suddenly gone, I would have been into the street drugs in short order."

"And now?  Do you ever use drugs?"

"No, I don't.  I came close to losing everything that mattered.  My career, the respect of my colleagues, all that I had worked so hard to accomplish.  I can't and won't ever go down that road again, I learned my lesson.  I blew my chance at Chief Resident, they gave it to someone else because of my addiction.  I did finally get the chance though, after this colleague, who is a good friend of mine by the way, killed a patient.  Not the way I wanted the job, but I still took it, she and I talked and she told me I should, she didn't want someone else to get it."

"So how did you end up with Abby?"

"I got back from Atlanta, and they let me come back to work, but with all sorts of extra restrictions.  One of the conditions was NA meetings, one a day for 90 days.     I went to one close to County and I saw Abby there.  Then later I ran into her at Doc's, and we sat and talked.  Turns out she's an alcoholic...anyways we started hanging out a lot.  We became friends, and maybe a bit co-dependant in hindsight.  Eventually, after we had dated other people and quite a bit of time as friends we got together as a couple."

Harper nodded slightly.  "And?"

"At first it was great, but she had fallen off the wagon, not getting crazy drunk or anything, but she was drinking a bit.  She was off and on with her meetings, and she insisted she was fine.  She was happy with me and it was under control, or so she kept telling me.  Then came her crazy family, her mom is bipolar, on and off her meds, long story, but I helped her cope with her mom, helped her when she found out her brother was bi-polar as well, and the drinking became more of a problem.  She was used to being very independent, and it got harder and harder to get her to open up and talk to me.  We were fighting more, she was getting drunk more, her brother went missing while I was in Belize, I came back and found her passed out drunk.  It was the beginning of the end for us."

"There's more right?"

"They found her brother, and she was trying to take care of him, she made the command decision that she would get a two bedroom apartment and he would move in with her.  Which was fine, but we had been dating for months and she didn't even seem to consider me in her equation.  It was getting worse, the drinking and the lack of communication.  Finally when my grandmother died, it all came crashing down, she'd had a call from her brother the same day and she took off to get him, and I went home to deal with funeral arrangements.  She brought him to the funeral, he was drunk and off his meds and caused some issues, then the next couple of weeks she was too busy with him.  I realized that it would always be like that, if her family called, she would be running after them, they would come first always, and I couldn't deal with trying to guess what was going through her mind.  She hated the idea of Africa, but one of the other doctors went all the time on these trips with an NGO, and I decided to go."

"She wasn't supportive?"

"No, she was royally pissed off that I went without her permission, without talking to her first.  I needed the space, I had lost my grandmother, who was the closest member of my family, things weren't good between me and Abby, she was fully occupied with work and her brother, so...I didn't actually think she would care if I went.  There were a bunch of things that had happened between us, and never once had she been able to tell me how she felt, and I started believing she didn't love me, or need me, so I went.  When I finally came back, I tried to talk to her, she asked for her apartment key back, told me to leave her apartment, and then the next day left a few of my things in a bag on my locker with a note...'you forgot your stuff.'  I tried to take her for coffee and end it properly but she just ended up yelling at me and asking me why I bothered to come back from Africa."

"Wow, I'm sorry, that is a nasty breakup."

"Yeah, you could say that.  Which is why I didn't come back the second time, and is how I met Kem and that whole mess of a marriage happened.  I have no luck with relationships, maybe I should swear off women entirely."

Harper shook her head.  "Nah, you could never live without the sex, admit it, you enjoy it far too much to ever give up sex."

"Ah, right.  So I should just have affairs...sounds like a plan.  Hey, that would not be so different than most of my life, lots of short term relationships, I wouldn't have to worry about boring routine married sex."

Harper knew he was only half joking.  These women had hurt him deeply, as much as he tried to be light about it, Kem cheating had devastated him, the loss of his son, her withdrawal after that, she was surprised he had made it through.  Another bad relationship, right after breaking up with Abby, and she knew there was even more to the Abby story that he was not telling.

Harper moved over to sit on the side of his lounger, then leaned down, claiming his lips with hers.

"Well I won't argue with that right now.  You need to give yourself some time and maybe you'll feel differently, but I hear you.  I swore off men after my ex cheated on me, but here I am, with another man.  Though not just any man...someone I feel like I can trust and I want you to trust me too."

"I want to, I feel like you out of everyone, I can trust."

"You can John, I care about you, I always have.  Hey let's go for a swim, we need to lighten things up, have some fun."

They swam and played around, then lounged for a while longer in the sun.  They finally walked back to their room, both stripping off their suits and crawling into the shower together.  Harper pulled him to her, kissing him deeply as the water ran over them.  John lathered up a cloth and washed her back, helped her wash her hair, and Harper reciprocated, the touching and caressing making them both want more.  Harper finally flicked off the water and stepped out, staring to dry her body, John not far behind.  

She was looking in the mirror brushing her hair when he wrapped his arms around her from behind, kissing the back, then the side of her neck, nuzzling against her.  She could feel his need, his hardness pressed up against her.  He gave her towel a gentle tug, letting it fall to the ground, his hands cupping and caressing her breasts.  Harper reached back, relieving him of his towel, then pressing back into him.  She felt his hand slide down her belly, the between her legs, stroking her, making her quickly grow wet.

"Take me from behind."  She said demanded as he continued to kiss and stroke her.  "Now. John, I want you now."

Harper leaned forward supporting herself on the counter as he positioned himself, gasping at his firm entrance into her wet warmth.

"Oh, baby, yes."  John moaned against her back as he buried himself deep, she felt so hot and tight around him, he kissed her back, then reached around to work her clit as he started a slow pace.  

He pulled almost all the way out, the entered her again with a long slow stroke, taking his time, making small circles with his finger and holding her hips steady with the firm grip of his other hand.  Harper pushed back against him as he thrust into her, hitting her sensitive spot and making her cry out.  She reached down, encouraging the firm movement of his hand against her as their bodies moved into a rhythm, her rocking back as he rocked forward against her.

Harper looked up into the mirror, captivated by the their reflection, watching them move in tandem.  His eyes cut up and caught her staring at him in the mirror, and their eyes locked for an interminable moment, his eyes seemed dark, full of desire, his brow slightly furrowed in concentration.  He leaned further forward, kissing her back and her shoulders, the hand on her hip loosening its grip to skim up her body, a light loving caress.  He pushed aside her hair to get to the nape of her neck, the tender touch of his mouth making her shiver.

They went on like this for some time, each move into her body making them both moan, neither made any attempt to be quiet, the result was intoxicating, the movements becoming harder, more frantic until he was pounding into her body.  He adjusted and clutched both hips with his hands, helping steady her until they both climaxed in a very noisy finish.  

John dropped his head against her back, placing small kisses on her damp skin,  seeing her flushed faced reflected back at him.  Her hair was a bit wild, but she looked so damn sexy, incredibly beautiful.  He ran his hands up, making her stand upright, then turning her, embracing her and cradling her against his chest.

Harper burrowed against him, they were both slightly sweaty but she didn't care, he smelled so good, their scents intermingling, the tang of sex hanging in the damp air.  She entwined their fingers, turning and leading him into the bedroom, both of them still completely naked.  She flipped back the covers on the bed, forcing him down onto the crisp cool sheets, moulding her lithe form against his tall lean one, not wanting to let him go.

They lay holding each other, neither speaking, but communing nevertheless, their hands restlessly wandering over each others skin, bonding, the communication wordless.  The sex in the bathroom had been lustful, but tempered with an edge of passion and tenderness. Harper marvelled at how close she felt to him.  

John tipped his head down, wanting the feel her lips against his again.  He rolled onto his back, pulling Harper on top of him, her legs entwined with his, one falling down between his, the other outside against his thigh.  He was ready for her again already, a fact that was not escaping her, his erection hard pushing into her flesh as she enjoyed the warm length of his body under hers.

They stayed much in the same position as she maneuvered him inside her, their bodies fitting together perfectly, her breasts grazing against his chest as their bodies swayed and rocked together in full contact.  His hands were fervently brushing across her hot flesh, groping for and finding her tight bottom, squeezing and kneading her, encouraging her movement against him.  Harper ran her fingertips over his scalp, through his hair, leaning in and ardently kissing every bit of him she could get her lips on, only giving up when his arms wrapped around her back, holding her tight as her hips bucked against him, feeling him pulsing and throbbing as her inner muscles locked around him.

They both stilled, her head resting on his firm smooth chest.

"Wow Harper."  He finally spoke, the words tenderly hitting her ears as he kissed the top of her head.

Harper slid off of him, but stayed close against his side.  "I know right?  That was so damn good, both times."

He didn't speak, he just kept his arms around her, both of them falling into a light sleep, neither wanting to break the connection between them.

 


	8. The Nightclub

John watched as Harper flitted across the cobblestone street, a big smile on her face as he held out her Gelato.  

"As requested, I heard this was one of the best places in Florence."  He scooped more into his mouth as Harper took the first bite of hers.

"Yum, this is delicious.  I am going to have to go on a major diet after eating all this Italian food, I swear I am starting to get a fat belly."

"Mm, no way.  I love your sexy, voluptuous curves, don't change a thing."  John ran his fingers over her hip, trailed across her perfectly flat belly, then leaned in, kissing the gelato off her lips.  "That is pretty good."  He licked away the creamy traces of ice cream as he straightened up.

"Let's got to the Duomo... after that we can...I don't know there is so much to see here, it's beautiful."

They had been in Italy a week now, driving across to Venice with a stop in Verona, then working their way down to Florence, stopping to see the highlights along the way.  The time was going by too quickly for both of their liking, but they were cramming in as much as they could to every hour of the day.  Every night they made love in whatever quaint hotel they managed to book in to, the afternoons punctuated with 'nap time, after a good morning love in each day.  They spent hours out sightseeing, taking in everything they could.

They both finished eating as they strolled along, then he leaned in for another kiss.

"How lovely, how long have you two been married?"  Another tourist, obviously English speaking had noted the wedding ring on John's finger and assumed they were a married couple.

Harper smiled openly.  "Oh, we're newlyweds, we just got married.  My wonderful husband here, I love him so much I can't keep my hands off him."

"Congratulations."  The stranger moved on, as did Harper and John.

"Newlyweds huh...well, I guess given the amount of sex we are having, it is kind of like being newlyweds."  John smirked at her.

"Yeah, kind of, and she was eyeing your wedding ring, I didn't want to say hey, we're not married, we're having an illicit affair where I am having my way with another woman's husband because she is a cheating cow."

"I see your point, that might not go over so well."  His voice was a bit wistful as he looked down at the ground.

Harper noticed the trace of sadness in his eyes, and knew he was still hurting, and she could understand why.  It was never easy to accept the betrayal of someone you loved.

"Hey, baby, it's okay."  Harper leaned into him.

"I'm so stupid, why do I love these women, Harper, why do I always pick the one who in the end doesn't give a shit.  I thought she loved me, but clearly I was wrong, if she hadn't gotten pregnant, she would have left a long time ago.  I almost wish I had never met her."  He ran his fingers across the love locks that were fastened along the chain link fence.  "I don't know why people bother with these things, in a few months or a few years that person they swore they loved will be off with someone else."

"It's cute, and romantic, I'd do it, in fact we should find a special spot and put our own love lock somewhere, be all gushing and lovey."

"Why would you want to do that, not like we are actually dating right?  I'm married, you're barely divorced, we're having an illicit affair, not a honeymoon."

Harper felt a stab of hurt for a moment, then shook it off.  They had agreed, they were just having a fling.  She was going to tell him the truth though.

"Because I love you John.  I don't want to get married, and...well you know I can't have your babies, but we can still love each other and take care of each other and be there for each other.  I wish our lives had been different, you know?"

John was turning over what she had said in his mind, Harper had a way of making him feel better.  

"I love you too.  I honestly do think you saved me Harper, finding out about Kem, it pretty much topped off my year perfectly, more shit on top of years of shit.  I...wanted to go get high so badly, just put myself out of my misery.  It feels like as soon as I get even the tiniest bit of happiness, I get buried again.  I don't think I can put myself out there again, it's too painful, it always ends up like this, I don't even know why she married me, marriage never works."

"I think there are lots of marriages that work, John.  In my view Kem is a stupid woman who gave up a great guy who loved her."

"Or maybe she is really smart, seeing the emotional basket case, the fucked up person that I am, and decided to get out while she still has time.  I'm a mess, I attract bad things, people die around me, maybe I'm better off alone.  At least then I can't kill anyone.  I wonder sometimes if my parents would have been happier if it had been me, instead of Bobby who died.  Even by 10 he was the model Carter child, everything everyone wanted, ready to follow in my grandfathers footsteps into the family business.  Instead I lived and he died, and I was never who they wanted me to be, I was never the child they wanted.  I loved my brother, sometimes I wish I could trade with him."

Harper stopped, turning John towards her.

"I for one am happy you are here John, and I'm sure that's not true, any of it."

"No?  I'm not so sure Harper, they dumped me in boarding school when I was 11 and acted like childless jet setters.  You know when I was stabbed, it took them three weeks to even bother coming back to Chicago?  They stayed for a couple days, came to see me for about 20 minutes and they were off again.  You know how tough it is to get flights out of Tokyo at short notice, almost impossible apparently."  She could hear the sarcasm in every word and knew his parents were probably the worst people on the planet.  "My mother hasn't been back to Chicago to see me or made any contact in the past 7 years, my dad and I barely talk and when we do he criticizes my life and my choices.  I have never done anything right, not in their view, I am sure they wish they still had Bobby, not the drug addicted, black sheep, disappointment of the family I turned out to be."

Harper wrapped her arms around him, letting him lean into her.  He was opening up to her in a way she was sure he didn't do often, or for many people.  The depth of his emotional scars matched the severity of the scars on his body.  He kept so much hidden, and always had, that he trusted her enough to talk to her like this was amazing.

"They're wrong, John.  They are so wrong.  You are living life the way you want, and that is a good thing baby.  You have done so much good, saved a lot of lives, put yourself in danger, working in Africa.  Those are good things, and if they can't see who you are, it is their loss, John, not yours.  I love you."  Harper pressed her lips to his, kissing him deeply, caressing the back of his neck, putting every ounce of feeling into the kiss so he would know...she truly loved him.  

She finally pulled back.

"Remember when we dated as students, and I told you I had done a few too many drugs as a kid?  My parents weren't absent from my life, but they never listened.  Not really, they always just heard what they wanted to hear, if you get me?  So I fell into those self destructive patterns and made some mistakes.  I understand making mistakes and I understand how it can feel when your parents are forever critical of you.  You have contributed so much to the world, in my view, the world is better for having you in it.  You can never change the past, and you can't know if your parents would have been any different with Bobby if it had been you who got sick and died.  Maybe the reason they never show up when you are sick is simply because they can't bear watching their child in pain.  Not after losing a child to a horrible illness like AML."

"Okay, I get it, stop feeling sorry for myself right?"

"No, that is not what I meant.  I just meant that you are such a good person, you have so much to give and you can't lose sight of it because your parents have the emotional depth of gnats.  You are a warm, generous, caring, loving man, and I can't bear the thought that I might never have had you in my life.  Even the thought that I almost lost you without having a clue makes me sad John.  I love you, I do, even if it's not in the lets get married and spend our lives together way, I love that we have something special together, and I feel like we will always be friends, no matter what happens in our lives."

"Gnats.  Good way of putting it."  He was feeling better already, it was amazing how quickly those feelings of despair could sweep over him, dragging him down into the depths. "I don't know why, but they can still make me feel like crap, no matter how many years pass."

"They're your parents, John, mine do the same to me if I am not vigilant.  They never let me forget that I was a wild child, and if they knew I was sleeping with a married man, and that we do the things we do together, they would brand me as a loose woman.  Which is equivalent to their daughter being a total slut, a tramp, a harlot, might as well be out on the streets screwing men for money."

"They sound like lovely people.  Ah, Harper.  We are so similar it is a bit scary.  I never really understood the drug thing when we were students, but damn, I sure get it now.  It is unfortunate how well I can relate to drug addicts and alcoholics, I feel like I am forever fighting my demons.  I had my own truckload of baggage and now I need a boxcar, or perhaps the whole train.  What do you say we go and have some fun."

They spent the afternoon sightseeing and went out for dinner in a restaurant near a small plaza on their way back to the hotel.

"John."  Harper was fiddling with her hair in the mirror, getting ready for a night out on the town.

"What?"  John was putting the finishing touches as well.

"Have you ever...wanted to make a little fantasy come true?"  Harper had a few little ideas and she thought John might be the guy to play along.

"Fantasies huh.  Sure, of course, every guy has sexual fantasies, and I suspect a lot of women do as well.  What did you have in mind?"  He looked over at Harper with a little grin on his face, and she knew, this was going to be fun.

An hour later John was sitting in a small booth at the back corner of a very busy and upscale club.  He was wondering if this was going to work, but it was starting to get packed, good thing they had gone early.  He sipped his drink as an attractive blond came over and leaned on the table in front of him.

"Hey there, want some company?"  The blond bent down enough that he could see right down the front of her dress, she was well endowed and very pretty.  

John casually sipped his drink, running his eyes over the woman.

"See something you like?"  He glanced over to see that someone had now joined him in the booth, the blond with the cleavage glared at the interloper and stalked away.  

"Mmhm."  He took in the woman sitting beside him, the way she leaned in, he could feel the heat of her body, her thigh pressing against his.

"I can tell.  I'm thirsty, how about a drink?"

John waved down the waiter and ordered them both a round.

"Keep them coming.  What's your name honey?"

"Marissa."

"What are you doing in Italy, Marissa? Here with anyone?"

"Vacation, my boyfriend is back at the hotel, not feeling well tonight, and I got...lonely."

"Can't have you feeling lonely, now can we."  

The first round of drinks landed on the table, and they both drank, flirting with each other shamelessly as the conversation continued.  John's eyes were drawn to her full breasts, straining out over the top of her dress, and her smooth tanned thighs tapering down to slim legs, ending with very high Italian leather heels.  

By the third round of drinks, he was stroking the soft skin and Marissa was nibbling on his ear.  He felt her hand sliding up and down his thigh, then she took his hand, bringing it up under her dress.  John glanced around, the lights were down very low, and it was very dark where they were.  There were people packed around them, but no one was paying much attention.

He slid his hand up under her dress, stroking her silky thighs as he let it creep higher until he encountered soft dampness, recognizing she was not wearing any underwear under that tight formfitting dress.  She let out a little moan as he started to toy with her, their interaction unnoticed in the darkness. 

He stilled his hand as the waiter came by with another round, John casually nodded to the Euros on the table.  

"We're good for now."  He didn't want them to be interrupted, 

Marissa was now rubbing his crotch through the light dress pants, and his hand moved against her in return.

"Oh baby, you have magic fingers."  The woman moaned.  She slid closer, then straddled his lap, kneeling on the bench poised over him, adjusting her dress slightly, it was riding up her hips, almost but not quite showing everything.  She pushed her full voluptuous breasts into his face.  He leaned into her, inhaling her intoxicating scent, smelling her arousal, and kissing her the exposed flesh.

"Think anyone would notice if we just..."  John left the question hanging.  "I want you, you are incredibly sexy." He whispered against her hair.

The woman looked around casually, other couples were busy kissing and the dance floor was a mass of humanity all bouncing and gyrating to the music.  She unzipped his pants.  

"Commando, I like it." She freed him, wrapping her hand around the silky skin.  "Well endowed aren't you baby." 

John moaned softly into her cleavage, pulling her towards him until his erection was against her slick warmth,  She pushed down against him and he was fully engulfed, her smooth walls contracting around him as she purposely tightened her muscles.

She started to move, very subtle gyrations of her hips as she kissed him, his hands running up her thighs, then squeezing her ass, helping guide her movements.  She was so keyed up it was not long before she felt the warm rush coming up from her toes.

"I'm coming baby.  Let yourself come."  She gasped into his ear, barely getting the words out before she smothered her cry against his hair, the noise lost in the thumping pulse of the music washing over them, feeling his release at the same time as hers.

She stilled her movements pressing up against him tightly, holding there until she knew he had finished, kissing his lips softly before disengaging her body, then reaching down to tuck him back into his pants and zipping him up carefully as he pulled her dress down a bit.  She adjusted it further and slid back on his thighs.

"Magnificent, are you here alone?"

"No, but my girl is out tonight..all night...want to come back to my room with me?  Or at least lets find somewhere so I can fuck you again, properly."

"Let's go."  She slid off his lap, then out of the booth, holding out her hand and he quickly joined her letting her lead him out of the club.  He took the lead from there, his arm around her, helping her over the rough cobblestones, until they found a dark recessed doorway, Marissa grabbing him and yanking him in.

"I can't wait."  She wrapped her arms around him, bringing his head down in a passionate kiss as he backed her up against the wall, her dress riding up as he groped between her legs again.  

"Mm, nice and wet.  You want it baby?"

"Yes, give it to me."  She was already freeing him from his pants, stroking him vigorously as he lifted her, settling her onto his erection, then proceeding to thrust into her.  She wrapped her legs around his waist, pushing her pelvis towards him, resting her shoulders against the wall as he drove into her body.  This time she let herself grunt and moan at each thrust, coming violently with a muffled cry, feeling his warmth fill her not long afterwards.

John let her down after a few moments, she steadied herself against the wall, straightening her dress as he zipped his pants and tucked in his shirt.

"You fuck like that all the time?  Take me back to your room."  She demanded.

The moment they got in the door, they were both dropping clothing, John moaned as he was pushed back onto he bed, totally naked, his cock engulfed by a set of tight warm lips.   He stroked the long blond hair as her head bobbed, one hand wrapped around the base of him while the other was massaging his balls.  He reached up to hold the head board, powerless under the assault of her mouth, not wanting to interrupt the amazing blow job being bestowed on him.

"Mmmmm, god baby."  He moaned as he felt everything tighten, then suddenly it all stopped and he inhaled deeply, needing to climax but the stimulation gone just as suddenly as it started.  He felt something going around his wrists, and realized he was now being restrained, his wrists wrapped in his own Italian designer tie.

"Naughty boys like you need to be tied up.  You are a very bad boy, bringing home strange women to your hotel.  Wearing a wedding ring too, I think perhaps you need to be taught a lesson."  He pulled slightly, knowing it was futile, he had waited far to long to resist, he was totally under her power, and she was wrapping another one of his ties around his eyes.

He could feel the panic rise momentarily.  "No, no blindfold."  He could hear the note of apprehension in his own voice.

He felt soft hands caressing his hair, running over his scalp, trailing gently over his face, the light kiss on his lips.  "I'm not going to hurt you, it's just me, relax honey, you know I won't hurt you.  Breathe."

He inhaled a few times deeply, trying to calm his racing heart, reduce his pulse rate to something close to normal.

"Okay? Are you okay baby?"  The gentle touches were continuing, the light pecks from her lips across his face, her hands brushing down his body, turning his mind to his rapidly hardening member.

"Yes, I'm okay, it's okay."

He felt her sweet warm breath on his face, her tongue probing his mouth, then the soft movement as she worked downwards.  Warm lips on his chest and nipples, then a pause, and the momentary shock of ice cold lips teasing him making him gasp.  She repeated this as she moved down his body, he could hear the tinkle of ice against the side of a glass before her cold mouth wrapped around his cock.

"Oh shit."  He moaned as she sucked on him, the contrast of the cold strangely erotic after the warmth of her hand.  

"I'm going to ride you baby."  The words came at the same time as the incredible feeling of her hot wetness, she impaled herself on him, starting to move her hips slowly, changing her direction and movement every few seconds as he tried to thrust into her.  She pinned his hips down with her hands, taking total control.  

"I want to touch you."  He pulled against his bonds, knowing it was pointless, but still trying, want to touch her silky skin, touch those full perfect breasts.

"Mm, no, naughty boy, quit fighting it.  I'm in control, you are my captive now, and I will do whatever I want with you.  How does it feel to be at my mercy.  Does it feel good what I am doing to you?"

"Yes." He moaned as she tweaked his nipples, leaning forward to tease them with her tongue.  He felt the icy coldness of her fingers, knowing she was going to torture him.  He felt her body contract around him as she brought herself to climax, he was getting close and starting to moan again when she pulled off of him. "Ah, let me finish."

"Uh uh, baby, I'm not done with you yet."  She murmured right against his lips, kissing him again, but not touching any other part of his body.  "You have been a very bad boy."  

He could hear her movements, then it was quiet, he tried to calm his raging erection, trying to think of anything to stop the painful throbbing, the need burning through his body to climax.  He was finally getting it under control when he felt soft fabric drop over him.

"Better cover that up."  He heard the soft laugh, then a tap at the door, some low words and then the door shutting again.  "Hm, what to do with you, what to do with you."  

He felt the sheet slither across his body, and the waft of cool air as it was removed entirely.  Something was pressed up against his lips, rubbed lightly across them.

"Have a bite, I got hungry, hope you don't mind I charged room service to you."  

John nibbled at the sweet fruit pressed against his lips, meeting another set of soft lips as he bit into the strawberry.  She rubbed something else across his lips and he licked...chocolate.

He felt her fingertips running down his body, then her lips, then her tongue licking his nipples, his chest, and over his navel.  

"Yummy, hot guy, dipped in chocolate.  Mm, maybe a little of that...whipped cream."  

He shivered as the cool cream dropped onto his body, followed by a warm mouth, licking him clean.

"Want a taste?  Open your mouth."  He did as he was told, surprised at the taste, but also how the taste was being presented.  He sucked and nibbled the breast that was pressed to his lips.  "Oh god, that feels so good.  I think I have something else that would like your attention, but first..."  He felt her fingertips running over his cock again, the her tongue licking him, and he started to throb harder and the lips were gone again.

He groaned in disappointment, every time he got close, she was pulling away, leaving him in desperate need.

"I'm going to untie you, but you have to leave on the blindfold.  Then if you can find me, you can have me, just follow the trail."

He felt his hands come loose and he tossed the tie aside.  He started to reach out carefully, hearing the giggles and following them towards the end of the bed.  he found her foot, grasping it gently, then kissing her ankle, tasting the sweetness of chocolate, he started to nibble and lick his way up her leg.

"Oh god, baby, you have a magic tongue."  She whispered seductively.  He kept moving upwards, following the sweetness to her inner thigh, smelling her arousal over the intoxicating notes of chocolate and strawberry.  He stopped to taste her wetness, groaning at the succulent flavour of strawberry on top of her natural taste, knowing what she was asking of him.  He parted her thighs with a light touch, diving in, making her writhe and moan as he pleasured her with his mouth.

She was letting out a string of moans, soft little oh's that were becoming urgent and louder, the closer he got her to completion.  He redoubled his effort, his fingers sliding inside her as he circled her swollen clit with his tongue, nibbling lightly, then adding more pressure, making her squeal as her legs locked against his head and her hand yanked his hair almost from the roots as she convulsed.  As soon as she relaxed enough for him to free himself, he followed the last bit of chocolate up her body, still blindfolded, but knowing exactly where he was going.  He lavished attention on her breasts, then straddled her, bringing her thighs together a bit before attacking her lips, sucking and biting as he rubbed his erection against the wetness between her legs, finally thrusting in hard, eliciting a gasp from the woman under him.

"Now I'm on top, and in control, and I'm going to fuck you so hard, and you are going to enjoy it."

He tightened his thighs a bit as he started a long slow stroke, the extra friction from her thighs being together making her moan loudly, he ground against her so she was getting the extra stimulation from both him inside her and his body rubbing against her clit.

"Shit oh, god, oh god."  The words were gasps coming from her mouth, which he smothered as he started to probe inside her mouth with his tongue, flicking his tongue against hers, the wrapping it so he could stroke it at the same time he was stroking into her wetness.  He was losing it fast though, his eyes covered meant he could not focus on anything but the sensations of the their bodies moving against each other, and it was erotic and damn hot.  He concentrated on not coming too soon, letting his mind observe everything, the smell of sex, the fruity, strawberry scent that seemed to linger on her skin, the way their bellies were gliding against each other despite the stickiness of the chocolate and remnants of whipped cream that seemed to now be everywhere.

Her hot wet warmth, the tightness around his cock as he moved in and out of her, her little moans which were escalating with every inward thrust, the way her hands were moving across his back, her fingers digging into his flesh, he was suddenly losing the battle and he could feel it rising quickly.

"I need to...oh god."  He groaned as her body contracted around him and he climaxed instantly, the release intensely painful but it also felt amazing, he felt like he had momentarily blacked out, and their were spots of colour dancing under his eyelids as his hips bucked against her.  He collapsed in a sweaty, sticky, quivering mass, barely able to breath, gasping for air like a landed fish.

He felt her cradling his head against her, the kisses on his face and hair.

"Shit John, I think we need to do that more often."  He could feel her fighting for air herself.

"Damn Marissa, you are a bit kinky, I loved it."  He laughed softly.  "Or is it Harper again.  Who am I in bed with?"

Harper kissed him exuberantly, stroking his hair.  "I'm whoever you want me to be, you naughty boy."


	9. When in Rome

John woke up to the shaft of sunlight hitting his face, he opened his eyes slowly, feeling a warm body up against him.  He tried to roll over, feeling very hot and sticky, smiling as he remembered his night with 'Marissa'.  Harper had suggested the idea, she had always wanted to pick some guy up in a club, get 'down and dirty' with him, but of course she was worried about the risks.

Picking up some weirdo, and being alone in a hotel room?  The risk of potentially having unprotected sex with a stranger, how someone would react to a woman making those kinds of advances on them in a club, there were too many variables.  So she had come up with the idea of a little fantasy role playing, she knew she could do or say anything to him and she would be safe.  Even the sex without a condom, she knew he was clean, she was not going to get some dreaded disease, and he had just played along with her advances.

He could not believe he went through with having sex with her right in the club, but he was pretty sure no one had even noticed, everyone around them was so busy checking out the hot girls on the dance floor, or making out with their own lover, they probably could have gotten naked and gone to town and no one would have said a thing.

"I think I am stuck to you, I'll try and move without taking off another layer of your skin."  Harper murmured against his hair.  "That was so hot last night, I still can't believe you let me do that to you in the club."

"I enjoyed myself, believe me.  It was a turn on, taking the risk of getting caught?  You are turning me into some sort of sex addict."

The minor bondage and sex games she had gone into were fun and nothing he hadn't done before.   Roxanne had been one of the women who loved things like body oils and paints, and tying him to the bed.  He had wondered at times how much Kerry could hear, she was certainly cool about it, Roxanne had been even noisier than Harper, and that was saying something.  Harper could get really loud, he knew she was really into it when she started those sexy little oh noises.

Abby in retrospect had been a bit boring in bed, Rena smoking hot, Wendall fun and slightly adventurous, Abby Keaton and Elaine were in a class of their own being the older women...the list went on, maybe a bit too long of a list if he thought about it, he had been with quite a few women, all starting with that damn maid, though that was instructive if not entirely his idea. Well, he was 11, it was not at all his idea, and it went on for some time, though he never told anyone until the sexual harassment seminar.  He covered up how he felt about it, he never felt comfortable mentioning it again after the dismissive attitude his confession was met with, even Abby had never even been curious, she was too wrapped up in her own problems to clue in what he meant, or what had really happened to him.

"Mm, well, I can't get enough of you.  You really do have a very nice penis, and you know how to use it, you always did."  Harper peeled herself off of him and slid off the bed, John watching her confidently stroll into the bathroom, putting a little extra wiggle into her walk.  She knew he was watching her, staring at her ass as she walked away.

John lay back as he heard the water running, thinking about getting up, but Harper came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel before he managed to get out of bed.  She came over and kissed him.  "Strawberry and chocolate, you smell like a fruit basket.  I think I had chocolate everywhere and I do mean _everywhere_."

"I just bet you did, you put it all over me, then we had sex...nothing like full body contact to spread it around.  I think I will try to unstick the sheets and see if I can get some of this off too."  

Harper could not help but laugh, she remembered painting the chocolate on him and licking it off.  "Mm, yeah, I was pretty thorough with that body part when I was removing the chocolate, but maybe not thorough enough.  Go shower."  She watched him crawled out of bed and saunter across the room without a stitch of clothing, totally nonchalant.  She heard the water come on, his humming to himself as he cleaned off the stickiness from their sexual playtime.

He was incredibly relaxed, it was appealing and sexy, how he just went with it last night, even letting her do him right there in the club.  No one had even blinked or seemed to notice they were having sex, and then the little alleyway, up against the wall, wow.  

She felt herself getting a bit horny again, even the thought of it made her wet.  She heard the shower turn off, and she started thinking about the next thing she could do with him.  She flipped the comforter off the bed, and put the top sheet up over the slightly sticky bottom sheet, dropping her towel and laying in the centre of the bed.  She lay back across the bed so he would get a good view the minute he came out of the bathroom and started to touch herself, starting with her breasts, then running her hands down her body, moving to finger her clit, using little circles, her own wetness creating lubrication.  She watched the doorway of the bathroom, he walked out rubbing a towel through his hair, one slung casually around his waist, stopping suddenly when he realized what she was doing on the bed.  

John wandered out of the bathroom, suddenly catching the view on the bed, Harper laying with her legs apart, knees up, giving him an incredible view as she touched herself.  She was looking at him, her hazel eyes half closed, a seductive smile on her lips, and he could feel his blood rushing directly to his groin, he was getting incredibly and immediately aroused as she rubbed and toyed with herself.

He dropped the towel in his hands, and started to move towards the bed, losing the towel from around his waist as he crawled over her.

"Can anyone join in to playtime?"  He nibbled on her ear as his gaze fell back onto her hand, which was moving quicker now.

"Mm, yeah, do whatever you want to me.  This is for you."  He knew this was a truly open invitation, she was so self confident and sexually adventurous, a truly hot woman, it was so appealing, he loved women who knew what they wanted.  He kissed her lips, then her breasts, keeping his eyes on her hands.  He moved down, kneeling slightly between her legs, pulling her up a bit, so her firm ass rested on his thighs, bringing her ankles up to rest on his shoulder.  He stroked himself a bit  while watching her continue to work on herself, watching her wetness grow, she was watching him now, as he got harder, he was starting to throb with need and he placed his tip against her wet entrance,  Instead of thrusting into her, her rubbed his tip across the sensitive skin, teasing her, stimulating her even further, making her moan.

"Put it in, I want you in me."  

John kept rubbing her sensually, inserting his tip just enough to make her moan, then moving back out.  He finally could not hold out and slid all the way in, she was gloriously hot, slick and ready for him,  He started to move against her, looking down at her finger still working herself and his cock moving in and out of her. She stopped rubbing long enough to let her fingers run over his shaft as he stroked in and out of her, then she reached down with her other hand, keeping one working her clit, the other feeling his cock as it moved in and out of her tight wetness.  

"I want to come, baby, make me come."  Harper was moaning.

He started to move with short hard thrusts, knowing this would put her over the edge, but as soon as he knew she was almost there, he stopped and went back to the longer strokes.  He did this a few times until she was almost begging, working her clit desperately, this time he kept thrusting until she cried out loudly, finally getting the release she desperately wanted.

John backed off a bit, he was delaying his own climax, he wanted to get Harper going, so he moved slowly and gently until she stopped gasping, then repositioned them so his legs were outside her thighs, knowing this made her come intensely the night before.  He lay his body on top of her, kissing her while moving very slowly and purposefully, taking his time with each stroke.

Harper ran her hands down John's back, feeling his body slide up and down against hers, the light pulse of her muscles as he hit all of her most sensitive spots with each move.  She gazed up into his face, his deep chocolate eyes pools of desire, he was staring back down at her, both of them fully engrossed in each other.  Harper just let go, letting it all wash over her, wave after wave, enjoying how tight she felt around his cock in this position.

"Oh baby, this feels so damn good."  Harper grasped his butt, kneading his slightly, encouraging him, helping guide his hips so he circled against her.  It rolled over her like a tidal wave, she could feel him coming inside her then her body contracting as she went over the edge.

He finally rolled off of her, letting the cool air rush over his sweaty body.

"That is a good position for you, isn't it."  John ran his fingers down her thigh, knowing from the intensity of her body's response that she got a lot out of it.

"Yeah, it's intense.  We need to do that one more often, it just hits every spot simultaneously, it feels amazing.  Where did you learn that one, I've never had a guy do it to me like that, though seriously, every guy should learn it.  It's good for you too right?"

"Oh yeah, it works, I love how it got you off so intensely too.  So a keeper."

"Seriously though, you have some really unique repertoire I am noticing, some new stuff, I am almost scared to ask."

"I told you I was a bit of a slut, Harper."  He laughed.  "But I'm a careful slut, don't worry.  I don't pick up hookers or anything, I promise.  I dated a couple of women who were a bit older than me, one of them not long after we broke up, and it was very...educational.  Older women tend to be less shy about telling you what they want and they were both very vocal about their needs and what they liked.  After that, I had a couple of girlfriends who were very adventurous, one of them liked to try a lot of different positions, she came up with some crazy stuff, but man, the sex was great.  She liked a bit of the tie me up tie me down."

"Mmhm.  Well, I am not complaining, feel free to try out more of that knowledge on me."  She looked over at him with a bit of a frown.  "Can I ask though, last night you freaked out a bit when I blindfolded you, didn't Miss Tie me Up, Tie me Down ever blindfold you?"

"Sure, I have been blindfolded before, I just...avoided it more after the stabbing.  It panics me, I know it sounds stupid but the guy came up behind me in a dark room and...I didn't see him coming, you know?  I just over react sometimes, it's like a full on panic attack and I can't control it.  You were able to reach me before I went into sensory overload but you will know if it is time to back off, if I really freak out and we are playing, then you just have to talk to me and uncover my eyes, untie me slowly once I can see."

"So you still suffer PTSD at times?"

"Yes, I have learned some techniques to cope when it happens, but yes, PTSD is a reality for me, I am mostly better and over time it has receded, but I don't know if it ever totally goes away.  I still check corners when I walk into a room, and I rarely walk into a dark room, I have to turn on the light.  I know it's silly, a grown man scared of the dark but at times it hits me."

"No, John, it's not silly, your mind is a powerful thing and if you were attacked in a dark room, it makes perfect sense to be more wary in the future.  Self preservation instinct kicks in.  I'll keep it in mind when we have playtime."

"Next time I think I get to tie you to the bed and have my way with you."

Harper smirked.  "That is a yes from me. I think you know I am up for almost anything.  So, have you ever...been part of a threesome?"

John raised an eyebrow at her.  "Um, yeah, I have.  Have you?"

"No, though I did have sex with a woman a couple of times.  I'm not gay or bisexual, but I did experiment with a roommate when I was in medical school.  Decided it wasn't for me, I like sex with men far too much.  What's your story?  Two women?  Or was another guy involved?"

"Two women.  I have never felt any attraction to another man, and I have nothing against gay people, but I don't like the thought of another man touching me sexually, I don't think I could be any straighter.  So there were these two women in college, and they were experimenting with each other, kind of like you did, you know?  We got kind of drunk one night out at one of the clubs, and it kind of just happened, they asked me back to their room.  They were roommates, and I have to admit it was enjoyable, having two women crawling all over you, doing things to you.  Haven't done it since then though, never been on offer and I would never suggest it."

Harper leaned up on one arm.  "Would you do it again, with me, if we found a suitable partner?  Someone we could trust to be clean?"

She watched his face, her hazel eyes searching his, noting the surprise in his expression.

"Uh, could I think about it?  I'm not sure...when you say partner, you mean another woman right?  If you mean another guy, I would have to say no, not interested."

"I meant a woman, John, I can see that you are not even remotely intrigued by the two men scenario."

"Good, because my jealous streak would not do well watching another guy have sex with you.  I think it would drive me insane and not in a good way."

"But you could watch me have sex with a woman and it would be okay?"

"Well, I don't know, that is why I would have to think about it.  I mean, we have a unique relationship, right?  We aren't committed to each other, though while we are having an affair I hope we are...exclusive."

Harper giggled.  "We are exclusive, and to be honest I don't know when I would have the time or energy to get down with another guy anyways.  I am a _very_ satisfied woman, John, and I also would not put you at risk.  We are trusting each other on a serious level, and we don't have room to make stupid mistakes or bad judgement calls.  If either of us wanted to be with someone else, I think out of respect we would need to discuss it first."

"Agreed.  Probably should have had this talk before, but I guess I just assumed that it would be just you and me, but we are pushing limits a bit."  John ran his hand through his hair.  "It would not bother you to watch me have sex with another woman?"

"I would not know for sure until we were in the situation, but if I was there and participating in the sex, it could be kind of exciting and erotic.  Just sitting and watching you with another woman?  No, I would not like it.  Or if you went out later today and just took some woman to a room and fucked her?  I would be jealous and pissed off.  I know either way it is still you having sex with someone else, but the consent and knowledge part matter a whole lot."

He leaned in and kissed her.  "In the meantime, why don't we get dressed, have some breakfast and hit the road?  We have a lot of Italy left to see."

The both ended up rinsing their bodies again in the shower, John left an extra tip in the room to cover the extra cleaning as the sheets were incredibly sticky and covered in chocolate.

"They are going to wonder about us."

"Nah, I bet it won't be the first time they see something like that, at least I am leaving the maid a little extra for her troubles."

Soon they were breezing down the road towards Rome, top down on the car, Harper looked over at him, reaching out to caress the back of his neck as he drove.

They made several stops along the way, taking their time as the distance between Florence and Rome was not far.  They checked into a quaint and well located hotel, Harper throwing open the shutters to take in the cobblestone streets. 

"I like it.  Cute and comfortable.  Let's go out."

The spent a good part of the day wandering the city seeing a lot of sights, finally finding a small restaurant with plenty of outdoor seating for their dinnertime.  Afterwards they wandered slowly through the streets, taking in the various buskers and holding hands.  Harpers fingers were entwined with his left hand, and he could feel her fidgeting with his wedding ring.  Finally they stopped to sit on the Spanish Steps, Harper putting her hand along side his face and looking into his eyes.

"John."

"Harper."

"Can we take this ring off?  Just while we are together, it has been a week and you still have it on."  She tugged at it, but it was firmly in place.  She kept her eyes on his, lifting his hand to her lips, sliding his finger slowly into her mouth and sucking gently until she was able to slide the ring off with her lips.  She held it between her teeth, he reached out and took it from her, placing it in his pocket.

He leaned in, his lips claiming hers, his tongue probing her mouth as her arms went around his neck.

"Thank you baby, right now you're mine, all mine, don't you forget it."  Harper whispered against his ear.  "I don't want you thinking about her while we are together in bed."

"Oh trust me, my mind is not on anything but you when we are bed, Harper.  You drive me crazy, god just thinking about it makes me want to take you back to the hotel so I can have my way with you.  You do this to me, whenever you kiss me, or touch me."  He took her hand and rubbed it against his erection.  "That little sucking action got my attention."

"Good.  Why don't we go back and you can show me what you like to do to me."  She nibbled on his earlobe, dropping little kisses on his pulse points, then entwining their fingers again as they worked their way back to their hotel.  Harper was keeping her eyes out for private corners, the streets were busy, so they were back to the hotel before she could find anywhere to continue their tryst.

They closed the door behind them, Harper wanting to make this last, but she also knew what she wanted.  They kissed and teased each other, she backed John into the wall, sliding down his body, undoing his belt and pants as she went.  She dropped to her knees, taking him into her mouth greedily, sucking for all she was worth, caressing his balls as she worked his over.

"Mmmm, oh, mmmm." Was all John could force out of his mouth as her lips and tongue worked their magic on him, his knees were ready to buckle, he braced himself against he wall.  He let his head drop so he could watch what she was doing, she was glancing up at him every few moments, watching the expression of utter bliss on his face as she sucked harder, tightening her lips and running up and down his shaft, pressing him up against the roof of her mouth with her tongue.  The guy was a mouthful, she wrapped her fingers around him, stroking around the lower part of his shaft.  She knew he was really close, she let him out of her mouth quickly, wanting to cool it down for a couple minutes. 

She tugged at his hands, pulling herself up, meeting his lips as his hands ran up her body then around under her dress, squeezing her cheeks firmly.  He unzipped her dress, pushing it off her shoulders, letting it slide to the floor in a heap, taking of his shirt in one smooth move.  His pants and boxers were down around his ankles, he casually kicked them aside, then slid down her body, pushing her up against the wall, spreading her legs enough to access her dripping core.

Harper groaned loudly as his mouth covered her, and he started to return the favour, his tongue probing into her, tasting and licking her.  Her knees finally gave way, and she sunk to the floor with him, both kneeling against each other. John wrapped his arms around her, kissing her deeply, pulling her towards him and making a few adjustments, Harper moaned as he slid inside her, both of them still kneeling, slightly intertwined.

"Like this baby."  John murmured in her ear, gently guiding her into position, then kissing her again as he started to move every so gently inside her.  

Harper was in ecstasy, she could taste herself on his lips and in his mouth, their tongues tangling and entwining, John sucking on her lip then her tongue again as they kissed passionately.  All the while he was stroking gently into her, his hips pushing against her as his hand steadied her lower back, the other wrapped tightly in her hair.  She let her hands wander freely, touching him everywhere she could reach, over his buttocks as they moved sensually, up his back and entwining in his hair.  

They went on like this for some time, she knew she was not going to easily climax like this but damn it felt good, locked in his arms like this.

John was enjoying it as much as her, he knew it took a long time to actually come like this, but that was the point.  It felt great, they could kiss and touch while having sex very gently, it was more about the physical and emotional closeness the position brought them.  He went on until his thighs started to burn, then he slid out of her, bringing them both to their feet, leading her over to the bed.  He flipped back the covers, then sat cross legged, bringing her towards him, and helping her settle onto his erection with her legs wrapped around his hips.  

He fondled her breasts, kissing her again as she started to bob up and down slightly on him, he grasped her ass and helped support her as she moved, letting her control the speed and intensity.  She was soon moaning hard, and he knew she was going to come, he let her enjoy her climax before adjusting them one last time, rolling them so he was on top, her legs still wrapped around his hips as he drove towards his own climax, knowing he could take her over the edge one more time before he was finished.

Harper tightened her thighs around him, still kissing and running her hands over him as he thrust hard and fast, burying himself deep, the precipice looming and finally it hit them both hard, his cry in her ear mingled with her oh's of pleasure.  He rolled them onto their sides, keeping her one leg around his hip so he could maintain the intimate connection, still inside her as they let the aftermath subside.

"Oh baby, I loved that."  Harper cuddled up to him, kissing him deeply, her hand still wrapped in his hair.

"Good, so did I."  He whispered into her hair, settling back on his pillow, keeping his arms around her.

The second day they were there, they sat by the Trevi fountain eating another round of Gelato when Harper looked up to see an attractive dark haired woman staring at them intensely.    She frowned slightly, turning more towards John, then leaning in to give him a very deep and passionate kiss, hoping it would give the woman the idea.  Taken.  He was taken and fully occupied, no room for anyone else.

"Kiss me like that again we might need to find a room."  His breath was hot against her ear.  "You drive me nuts, I want you all the time."

"John."  The voice came from above them, Harper felt him start slightly, he looked up quickly, maybe even seeming a touch guilty.

"Barbie!"  He stood up and the woman wrapped her arms around him in a very tight hug, kissing each cheek and ruffling his hair. 

Harper stood too, not wanting to be at the disadvantage sitting down, while this very elegant woman towered over her, kissing and hugging her man.

"Who is this?"  Barbie had an eyebrow raised and was looking at Harper a bit like she was a bug under glass.  

"Sorry, introductions.  This is Dr. Harper Tracy, a good friend of mine."

Barbie smirked.  "Yeah, I could see that she is...very close, you were checking out her tonsils.  Funny, I though your wife's name was Kim or something."

"Kem.  We're...separated Barbie."

"Oh honey, I'm sorry.  But then again, doesn't much look like you are moping around, if the body language between you is any indication.  Giving my little brother a bit of therapy are you?"

Harper was starting to get a bit annoyed, until the phrase sunk in.  Little brother?  This was his sister?  Did John even have a sister?

"Barbie, watch it.  That is a bit personal don't you think."  John sounded annoyed too, his sister certainly was speaking her mind.

"This is your sister?"

"Technically my half sister, we have the same mother, but yeah, this is my sister Barbara Ferguson Mancini.  She lives in Europe, though I thought you were over in Switzerland, not in Italy."

"We have the Solange docked on the coast, just in to do a bit of shopping John.  I thought you were over in Africa still."

"No, having a bit of a holiday, I have to go back to Darfur in a couple weeks."

"A couple weeks, and what are you doing until then."

"Just bumming around, we will probably head out to Amalfi next, then I wanted to go to Capri, see the grotto, you know all the touristy stuff."

"Mm, really.  Well, let me ask you this, how would you and...the lady doctor here like to come and spend a few days on Solange with me and Phillippe?  We are going to visit a few islands and Capri is on the list.  We can bring you back anytime you like, or even drop you off down near Sicily if you were planning on any time down in the area."

"Um, I don't know, Harper, what do you think?  Care to spend a few days on a luxury yacht off the coast of Italy?"

Harper was not sure he was for real, but they both seemed serious.  This was his family, and they were offering a stay on an upscale yacht, so...she supposed it would be an experience if nothing else.

"Sounds like fun."  She gave them both a warm smile.

 

 

 


	10. It's Not You...

Harper stretched out on the lounger, hardly believing that she was on the deck of a yacht right out of lifestyles of the rich and famous.  Apparently John's brother in law Phillippe Mancini was both very rich and very well known in Europe.  Funny thing was, John seemed quite at home, he didn't even blink when they met the helicopter and it took them out the 'boat'.  A boat with a helicopter landing pad, Harper giggled to herself.  Ridiculous, but kind of neat at the same time, certainly something off her bucket list.

This whole trip was a big stroke off her bucket list.  Fancy hotel in Paris.  Affair with a married man.  Sex in a fancy sports car, sex in public, sex on every possible surface and in numerous fantastic positions.  Now sailing on a yacht...off the coast of Italy.  Maybe even the whole...get back together with ex boyfriend and have an affair could go on the list.

The stateroom they put them in was something else, Barbie at first was going to put them in separate rooms until John refused.

"Barbie, you know that Harper and I are having sex, so drop the pretence, and put us in the same room.  We are going to end up in bed together no matter which rooms you put us in, so just make it easier on everyone and put her in the suite with me.  I mean, hey, it would fun to sneak around and all, but this is easier."

Barbie shook her head.  "I never thought you of all people would be into adultery.  All right, fine, I have to face the fact that my little brother is all grown up and shagging everything that moves."

"Oh give it a rest.  I am not 'shagging' everything that moves, and you don't have a clue as to the whole story, so stop."

Once Barbie got off her high horse, it started to get fun.  They had jet skis, and John took her out on one.  Then they borrowed the small sailboat and he took her sailing.  He went Scuba Diving with Phillippe while Harper and Barbie hung out on the yacht.

"So, how long have you known John?" Barbie sipped her fancy fruit drink, looking totally as Harper would picture such a creature, the pampered wife of a very wealthy man, spoiled and a bit snobby to be honest.  Harper was feeling like a bit like a bug, being inspected carefully, making sure she wasn't poisonous.

"Oh, I met him when I was a third year medical student, we worked together at County, he was about 24 at the time."

"Wow, really.  So you dated him back then?"

"Yes, we went out for several months before I had to leave for another rotation in a different city.  We had a lot of fun back then."

"Looks like you are having a lot of fun now.  Running all over Italy, fancy sports car, making out like a couple of lovesick teenagers.  I saw you glare at me, I swear you were staking your claim, the way you kissed him."

Harper laughed softly.  "Maybe a little, I just saw you were staring at us and I'm sorry, he's attractive and well dressed and classy, he attracts women.  When we were in Florence I left him alone in a club for less than 5 minutes and the vultures were already circling.  I had no idea you were his sister...I didn't even really know he had a sister, and if I did I would not have expected you to show up in Rome, Italy of all places."

"He is a bit of a catch, my little brother.  So what are your intentions?  He is married, and you obviously know that, you didn't even react when I mentioned his wife.  That alone would've scared off a few gold diggers, or even a few honest women.  Doesn't faze you though, he isn't even wearing his wedding ring and you seemed to know."

"Of course I know he's married, but she does not deserve him.  He's a great guy, she's a bitch, we are having a little fling.  I made him take the ring off, people were assuming I was his wife."

"A fling.  Don't get pregnant and expect him to shell over the big bucks."

Harper rolled her eyes.  "I'm not with him for his money, Barbie, I would have married him years ago if I wanted to be a rich man's wife.  I love your brother, I don't want anything.  Keep in mind he's a doctor too, so he knows what he's getting into, he's not reckless by any stretch."

"You don't want anything?  Other than him, in your bed every night?  Must be great sex, you seem pretty content."

"No arguments there, the sex is fantastic."  Harper stared her down, Barbie laughed out loud.

"Okay, truce.  I like you Harper. I think we will get along just fine.  You are not one of those brainless ditsy women my parents were always trying to fix John up with, you have spirit, you're honest and down to earth.  He's chosen well."

After that she started to see the other side of Barbie, and found it was an act, intimidation of the highest order designed to scare off the gold diggers from clinging onto her little brother.  Harper could respect that, she was sure John had his share of women who were 'attracted' because of the money.  Though John thought it was weird, considering he was not all that close with his sister, Barbie had lived in Europe most of her life and John had barely spent any time with her since they were kids.  They had apparently spent a lot of time in Europe as a family before his brother died, but afterwards, the family broke down rapidly, leaving John alone, fobbed off on the hired help, then boarding school, then his grandparents.

Their time on the boat was magical she found, the slight rocking of the boat magnifying the rocking of their bodies as they made love in the king sized bed.

"Oh."  Harper moaned, trying to stifle the noise as she moved up and down, kneeling over his prone body on top of the bed.  She grasped his thighs, using them for leverage, focusing on his legs as she rode his stiff cock.  His hands were grasping her hips tightly, the steady mmmm coming from his throat telling her that he was about ready to blow.  She moved faster, biting her lip, trying not to cry out as her orgasm swept over her.

"Ah, Harper!"  She could feel him almost convulse under her, their bodies pulsing in rhythm as he finally climaxed moments after her..

She leaned forward, resting her head almost on his knees, trying to catch her breath.

"You are noisy John, what if they hear us?"  Harper finally lifted herself off his body as he softened, turning and dropping onto the bed beside him.

John slapped her ass playfully.  "So what if they do?  Like they don't know we are having sex?"

Harper gave him a quizzical look.  "Doesn't mean I want them to hear us John.  I don't want your sister hearing me have sex with her little brother."

John rolled his eyes.  "Her grown up 'little brother'.  Their suite is way at the other end of the boat, Harper and I am sure they are not standing outside the door listening to us.  I know Barbie gave you a hard time about it, but we are grown ups, not teenagers, we don't have to sneak around pretending we aren't going at it every chance we get.   Barbie is not a prude, she has spent most of her time living in Europe, she is barely even an American anymore.  The whole adultery thing?  She is giving me a hard time, don't worry about it."

"Still, you brought me onto the yacht, you're married and you brought me along, like it's no big deal, very permissive of them."

"Barbie invited us, she knows what is going on, like I said, not a prude Harper.  Maybe they are permissive, but I am a grown man, not a teenage boy, I have sex with whom I choose to, where I choose to and when I choose to, it is not a big deal.  We can leave if it bothers you though."

"No, it's fine, just a bit weird.  Damn baby, that was good, I think I like being a cowgirl."

"Well you know, they say spare a horse, ride a cowboy."

"Except you are so far from being a red neck cowboy, I bet you have never been on a horse."

"You are so wrong, I will have you know I am a very good on horseback, I started horseback riding when I was three.  I used to win awards, I have owned more than one horse."

"Really?"

"Yes, really, though I fully admit I never did barrel riding, and I don't rope cattle either.  I can ride both Western and English style, and...don't laugh but my cousin and I had to learn polo, my grandfather had polo ponies, so I can do that as well."

"You are pretty good at freestyle riding too."  Harper winked suggestively.  "But that is another kind of riding all together."

John just laughed, Harper had a sense of humour, that was for sure.  "We should get dressed, almost time for dinner."  He kissed her then rolled off the bed, going into the bathroom to freshen up.

Harper flopped back again, grinning to herself as she admired his fine ass disappearing into the bathroom.  Ride a cowboy.  She almost giggled out loud, well, he was a _fine_ ride, if she did say so herself.  The variety with him was mind boggling, he was pretty much up for any position she suggested and he had introduced her to a more than a few that were downright incredible, finding different ways to stimulate her.  Sex with John was not boring, she'd been having multiple, mind blowing orgasms daily since Paris, and she was thinking that she was not going to want to stop at the end of the three weeks.  The trip was half over and the fire in her belly was growing, she was incredibly satisfied, but on the other hand, it was like she could never get enough.

They'd even picked up a few 'toys' along the way, after he said he dated miss Tie Me Up Tie Me Down, Harper decided it was time to explore that side of the relationship.  She had no idea who the woman was, but it was clear they had experimented quite extensively in the bedroom and Harper was grateful to this mystery woman.  He had been hot in bed when he was a student, now with the extra maturity and experience it was stunning how fast he could get her going.

John came back out, staring to dig for fresh clothes, she sighed and went to take her turn in the bathroom.

"Hey."  He came in and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her neck as she leaned back into him.  "Seriously Harper, are you okay?  That was quite the sigh.  If you are uncomfortable being here, in any way, then we can get off the yacht.  We do not have to stay."

"No, I like your sister, and of course, we are all adults, it's fine, it is.  Just..."  She turned, her arms automatically wrapping up around his neck, her hazel eyes searching his dark ones.  "Don't freak out, but...I am really having about the best time I've had in...I can't even remember how long.  The trip is half over, and I just don't want it to end, John.  I have to go back to Germany, and you are going back to Africa, and what if I never see you again?" 

She burrowed up against his chest, feeling the light kisses on her hair.

"Harper.  You have my contact information, it won't be the last time we see each other."

"John, are you going to go back to your wife?  She is not going to want me around, I can guarantee it, if she finds out that you spent three weeks with me, having non stop sex?  No woman in her right mind would want me around you.  The sparks fly, it's like fireworks with us, the sex is mind blowing, she will hate me."

"Of course if she knew we'd been having sex for three weeks, and even worse that we'd done it in our bed, yeah she'd hate you.  I think pretty much any woman who had you around their husband is going to hate you, you are gorgeous.  You're smart, and sexy, and interesting and fun and just damn beautiful. Aside from that, honestly Harper, I just don't know, it's all so new, I still feel a bit overwhelmed finding out my wife was cheating.  You, though, god Harper, you make me feel alive again, like maybe there is something worth living for after all, like my newest drug, and I have to say I am not wanting this to end either."

"You are such a liar.  But a sexy, hot liar."

"About which part?  What do you think I'm lying about?"  John tipped her chin up, looking into her eyes with a frown.  "I promise Harper, I am not lying, you don't want to know where I'd be right now if I had to face this alone."

Harper looked at him seriously.  "What do you mean by that, baby."  She put her hands on his cheeks.  "John, what do you mean?"

"What do you think I mean?  I loved her Harper, and our relationship went from I love you to complete shit.  I lost my child, I lost my wife, I don't have a whole hell of a lot left.  My parents don't give a shit, they never did.  I gave up my whole life in Chicago to move to Africa for her.  And she betrayed me, I was not kidding, I wanted to get high so badly, I might have given in.  You saved me."

"Oh honey, fate sure stepped in for us, didn't it?"  Harper wrapped herself around him.  "I am so glad I was there.  I don't know how she can not see you, but it is her, not you, John."

"I wish I could believe that Harper.  I really wish I could, but no woman has ever wanted to stay.  You know, I wanted to marry Abby, guess what her response was?"

"No?"

"Not even that.  She didn't say anything.  Not yes, not no, not go fuck yourself.  Nothing.  You know how that feels?  I did so much for her, and we had been so close, and not a word.  To this day I have no idea what she was thinking, probably wondering how fast she could run in the other direction.  She never wanted kids either, at least not with me.  So I go back to Africa, and one of the other doctors comes over and works with me in Darfur, I find out she went back to her old boyfriend and she was pregnant.  Nice, you know?  She never wanted it with me, it wasn't that she never wanted it, it was me that was the problem.  She married him too.  Kem doesn't want kids now either, we lost Joshua and now she won't even think about it.  I have spent all these years on women who couldn't care less, next thing I know she will be announcing she's having a baby with him, watch.  With Abby, I tried so hard to talk to her, and all she said was I get why you didn't give me the ring, and she walks away."

"Boy, women sure have done a number on you, haven't they.  Abby is stupid.  Kem is stupid, they were the wrong women for you John.  One day the right woman is going to come along and you will know it when she does."

"Maybe it's you.  Maybe that is why fate brought us together."

"No, John.  I think our time went by already, and honestly, you should not be thinking like that quite yet.  You need to give yourself some time, you are in full rebound mode, and frankly, so am I.  Maybe I am a bit stupid too for not trying to get back in touch with you sooner, but I got into Residency and life happened, I met my husband and I thought I was in love.  The more time goes by, the more I wonder what I saw in that jerk, but at the time I was blinded by my feelings for him.  I wonder if I will find someone again, but I need some time, John, to be...unattached, not married, to find me again.  I lost me somewhere, and I think you have lost yourself too.  Take this for what it is, baby, two people who care about each other helping one another through a bad time.  You need to go home to Chicago and get back your life, I live in Germany on an Air Force base.  You would never be happy there, being my kept man."

"Letting me down easy are you?  It's not you it's me?"

Harper shook her head.  "No, it's not like that at all and you know it.  We agreed, this is a fling and we go back to our lives.  We are having fun, let's keep having fun, I can't fit back into your life, and you can't fit in to mine on a permanent basis.  I also think we would be making a huge mistake, trying to make this into something when we are both so obviously in a bad place.  You get that, I know you get that John."

"Yeah, baby, I get it.  I'm an emotional basket case, we both got dumped on and this is about having fun, not falling in love with each other.  You make way too much sense.  Let's go eat, then later...we can have some more fun."  He winked at her.

"Now we're talking."

 


	11. Best Laid Plans

John woke up and rolled over, watching Harper sleep.  He knew she was right, the two of them trying to get all romantic and make this into anything but an affair would be a recipe for disaster.  Maybe if they had met up again under better circumstances...but then again, he probably would not have fallen right into bed with her under better circumstances.  Better circumstances would be his wife actually being in love with him, having a family with her, being with her all the time.

That was the intention when he left Chicago, gave up his life, but it had not turned out even remotely like he planned.

Harper was an incredible woman, though, and he was enjoying every moment of their time together.  He could feel the gentle rocking of the boat as they lay at anchor off Capri.  The afternoon with Harper had been magical, and amazing.  They had taken one of the small boats into the Blue Grotto, and Harper gasped in amazement.  It had taken her breath away.

"John, this is breathtaking, I have never seen anything like it."  She had leaned into him, letting him hold her close, he loved how she would cuddle with him, they could be affectionate and loving, even though he knew it was not going anywhere permanent.  They were both being totally clear, her honesty was refreshing, their ability to talk about anything a huge change from his last couple of relationships.

Abby had been so closed off.  Kem had been an open book until Joshua died, then she shut down, and as much as they had talked, he was really not sure where they stood anymore.  It always felt like one step forward and ten backwards with Kem, she just could not get past their loss, and the sadness in her eyes, all the time was heartbreaking.  With Harper, he knew exactly where he stood, this was about sex, and companionship and trying to help each other get through the darkest hours.

He ran his hands down her naked body, leaning in to suck gently on her nipples, kissing his way down over her navel, nibbling and caressing her thighs.  He was not sure if she was fully awake yet, maybe she thought she was having an erotic dream, she was wet, he could smell the scent of her arousal.  He started with his hand, adding his mouth, her hips starting to move against him as he nibbled away.  

"Uh."  Uttered in a barely audible moan, hands massaging his scalp, wandering through his hair as he sucked and teased her.  

Harper was having an amazing dream, she could feel warm hands, then hot breath and moist lips on her breasts.  John had her halfway there before she woke up enough to realize it was really happening.  He was under the covers, making her feel so good she could not hold still, she clenched one hand in his hair, the other balling the sheet as she writhed under his warm mouth.  The curls started in her belly, spreading down into her core, causing little spots of colour under her lids as she cried out loudly.

John slid back up, taking possession of her mouth, their tongues meeting as he probed her depths.  Harper pulled him over so she was on top, straddling him, then leaning back down to kiss him, as she lowered herself onto his erection.  She started to rock on her knees, letting her breasts rub against his chest, John thrusting his hips up as she rocked back against him.  She let herself go, instinct taking over as she rocked harder and faster, John bending his knees slightly to brace himself.  Harper moaned then stopped panting hard.

"Over baby, I want it from behind." She slid off of him, kneeling facing the headboard, grasping the top.  John knelt behind her, spreading her knees slightly, easing into her as she groaned.

"Good baby?"  He whispered against her hair as he thrust into her hard, circling his hips, feeling how deep he could get in this position.

"Oh god John, yes, like that, yeah, like that, god."  Her words dissolved into little 'uh's' as his arms wrapped around her, his hands seemingly everywhere.  Harper held tight to the bed with one hand, turning her head enough to let him his her mouth as their bodies writhed, his hand working down to her sensitive nub, stimulating her further.

John was fighting time, trying to get her to climax before his need became too great, feeling it rise, powerless to stop it.

"Uh, baby, I gotta, ohhhhh."  He moaned as he let loose, Harper leaning back into him, panting heavily.

John rested his head on her shoulder, still holding her tightly to him as he finished.

"Shit, sorry baby."  He murmured against her hair, knowing she had not made it to the finish line before he lost control.

They both lay on the bed, facing each other, Harper reached out to stroke his face with her thumb.  He grasped her hand, kissing the palm, then sighing.

"Sorry, that felt way too good, I totally lost it.  I owe you one."

Harper had to smile, he seemed so upset that she had not climaxed during intercourse, it was like he took it so seriously, making sure she enjoyed the sex as much as he did.

"It's okay, hon, it still felt great, and you got me there already, I thought I was having some amazing dream.  Seriously, you get me off like 5 times a day, not making it one time is hardly a hanging offence."

"Maybe not, but...perhaps it's kind of silly, but I hate not getting you there, I want to make you feel good every time."

"Oh don't worry, it felt good, I don't think we have had one time it didn't feel good John.  You would know it if we had, trust me.  You worry too much, baby, relax, I know we joke about beating my record, but once in a while it is all right if the woman does not get there before you.  Only once in a while mind you, don't let it happen too often."

John laughed.  "Yeah, I will try not to let it happen again."

"See that you don't, you have a reputation to uphold."  She wiggled closer, brushing her lips across his, cuddling close, listening to the steady beat of his heart under her ear.  "I love you John, you know that right?  You make me feel so...wanted, needed, I haven't felt like that for a really long time.  The more time I am away from my ex, the more I recognize that he didn't treat me like he should.  I don't know why I put up with him as long as I did, I guess I thought he needed me, and I need to be needed.  Does that make sense?"

"Oddly enough, it makes perfect sense to me.  I love you too, Harper, you know that.  I don't know why we let ourselves fall so hard and fast for the absolute wrong people, I don't know if my heart can take any more rejection, I need to learn to...hold back, keep it in check or something.  I let women walk all over me, I seem to be always the one who cares the most in the relationship.  You know, where you are the one who loves the other person more than they will ever love you back?  I think that is me, and I need to change that."

"John.  You don't ever need to change that, it is part of what I love about you so much.  Your ability to love, and one day you are going to find someone who loves you back like that too."

"What if I don't?"  He said this quietly, almost too low for her to hear.  "What if I never find them?  I don't know if I can, Harper, put myself out there, try and trust again?"

"Oh honey, I hear you, I have been feeling that way for a while, and I guess we don't know until we do.  I wonder the same thing, will I find the right person...ever?  I can't even have a baby."  She felt the tear run down her face.  "What guy is going to want me, John, I can't give anyone a family, and I have always wanted one.  Remember when I was so obsessed and worried that I was pregnant?  How relieved we were I wasn't?  Then later when I got married and lost baby after baby, I wondered if I had been, if it would have been different, if I had tried sooner, would I have been able to have a baby?"

"You are an amazing woman Harper, and there will be a man who will love you just the way you are.  There are other options, the right guy, maybe you could adopt a baby.  There are babies and children who need a home, maybe you should think about it.  I've thought about it, I don't know how easy it would be, but people manage to adopt every day.  I know I really want a child, a family, and it feels like it will never happen."

"I've thought about it John, believe me, I have.  I want to be a mother so badly, but my body just will not let me.  I get pregnant, and everything seems to be going along fine, then it happens.  I have been poked and prodded and tested and they can't figure out what is wrong with me, I guess I am not meant to be a mom.  Now I don't even get pregnant anymore, they think all the miscarriages has damaged something, I have had to have a couple D&C procedures, the last few years I was married it didn't even happen, I never got pregnant again."

"I'm sorry Harper, I am.  Losing a child is brutal, I only had to deal with it once and it was devastating.  Having to go through more than once, I don't know how you did it.  I bet you would be great though, any child would be lucky to have you as their mother.  You know what?  We should make a pact, in say...three years, if we are both single, we should just get together and adopt a baby.  I love you, you love me, we have great sex, I bet we would be terrific parents."

Harper rubbed his arm, smiling to herself.  "Yeah, maybe we should keep it in mind, if we don't find the man...or woman in your case...of our dreams, then maybe we should consider it.  Bypass all the romantic crap and just be together.  I wonder it would even work, we might end up killing each other." 

"I don't know Harper, it might.  I guess we will have to wait and see.  It will probably never happen anyway, some amazing guy is going to come and take you off the market before I ever get a chance."

He hugged her tight, closing his eyes and drifting back to sleep, feeling better than he had in a while, like there was a tiny ray of hope in his life.

He woke up early, Harper was still sleeping soundly, her soft sighs and snores were adorable, he'd always thought so.  Maybe he should let her sleep for a while, they had been going non-stop since Paris, their middle of the night romp only a few hours old.  He quietly dressed and went out on deck, the sun was coming up and it was already warm, with a light breeze coming off the water.

"Hey little brother."

"Barbie.  You're up early."  He poured himself a cup of coffee, dropping onto one of the loungers, watching her stretch on her yoga mat.  It reminded him of Susan Lewis, and their yoga when they hung out a few years ago.  He vaguely wondered how she was, she had been rather angry with him when he'd attained tenure and they passed her over.  He wondered if she would ever forgive him, he missed their friendship.  He missed the friendship of so many, he felt like he'd lost so many people over the years, it was almost unbearable, the revolving door of his life.

"I like to get up and watch the sunrise.  Something zen about yoga first thing, it is peaceful, I can think.  You know?  You should try it."

"Yoga?  Ah, no, thanks anyways.  I did actually go with a girlfriend a few years back and I am a disaster at yoga, trust me on that one, she had a good laugh at me trying to do downward dog and the cricket or whatever the hell that thing is called.  I do lots of other activities to keep me active."

Barbie laughed. "I don't think it was the cricket, but okay, I accept you are not cut out for Yoga.  You do seem to like calisthenics in the bedroom with Harper, is that what you mean by other activities?  What is going on with you John?  What happened with Kem?"

This was the first time they'd been alone since he and Harper had come aboard, and John knew this was coming eventually.

"Ah, Barbie, Kem is so complicated.  After we lost the baby, she closed off quite a bit.  I should have known better, but we finally got back together, tried to make it work.  It was okay for a while, but we were spending more time apart, she was going to Paris a lot to see her mom.  I started to go to Darfur when she was away, which got more and more frequent.  A couple weeks ago she called me, wanted me to come to Paris and see her.  I was thinking maybe we were finally going to be able to work things out, but..no I don't think it is going to happen."

"What happened in Paris, John?  Something major for you to be with another woman."

"Kem informed me she'd been sleeping with an old boyfriend."

"Oh John.  I am so sorry.  She made you come see her for that?"

"Well, and she said she wanted to try and make it up to me.  I was...so angry, and hurt, I couldn't even look at her.  So she left, went back to the apartment I guess, and I was just trying to deal with it when I ran into Harper.  I didn't plan this, it just kind of happened, you know one minute we're having drinks, talking, sharing, the next we are having sex in a hotel room."

Barbie sat on the lounger beside him.  "Not the best course of action, John.  Getting drunk and fucking your ex-girlfriend.  Kind of makes reconciling with Kem a bit difficult don't you think?"

"Yeah, I can admit it was not well thought out, in fact I was not thinking at all.  I spent the night with Harper at the hotel, Kem left a million messages, but I just ignored them.  I can't even stand the thought of touching her again, she's my wife and she was having sex with some other guy Barbie, I don't even know that I want to reconcile with her.  If we do reconcile, then I guess she will know how I felt, knowing I have been with another woman multiple times."

"So you didn't just have sex with Harper once and go home, you two went all night?  Is that what you are saying?"

"Mmhm, it was not a one time thing.  Kem had to go back to Africa, so she left and Harper invited me to come to Italy with her.  Three weeks, no strings.  So we went back to our place and I packed, Kem had already left for the airport by then."

Barbie could see the slightly guilty look on his face, and she had an idea what that meant.

"Oh shit, you did not.  You had sex with Harper at your apartment.  Your apartment where you live in with Kem?"

"Uh yeah, we did, in our bed.  Revenge I guess, I'm not proud of myself but on the other hand?  It hurts Barbie, like she ripped my heart out, and I couldn't breathe, I just wanted to get drunk, and high, and disappear.  Harper makes me feel good, I trust her, she saved me from doing something really stupid, and I need this.  Kem, she...god Barbie, I loved her so much but our marriage has just been...shit.  I don't even know why she married me, I really don't, and I can't take it anymore.  I'm done, the longer we're apart, the more certain I am it's over.  Harper is like my therapy, I know you don't approve, but it has been so long since..."  He wanted to say 'since anyone really loved me', but he could not get the words out.  

He had only felt loved in small flashes in his life, he knew he had replaced love with sex, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out.  He knew his family was severely dysfunctional, and he was messed up beyond belief and he needed a woman in his life, even if it was just sex, it made him feel needed in some small way.  He didn't even remember a time when he felt truly and completely loved, it was so fleeting.

He looked for love in all the wrong places, he tried not to be needy, but at some point...he had broken and he was not sure if he could ever be fixed.  That anyone could truly find him lovable, or want to be with him long term, seemed impossible to ask of any woman,  he may not ever find a woman who could deal with his baggage.  He'd had to keep so much of himself hidden, but with Harper he could be himself, open up and let her see who he really was, all his insecurities, how damaged he was to the core of his being, how scarred, not only physically but emotionally.

He put his head in his hands rubbing them through his hair.  Barbie wrapped her arms around him.  They had not been all that close over the years, and she realized how much her brother had gone through.  Losing a child, the stabbing, the addiction, now his marriage falling apart, he was so far from that sweet little boy she remembered.  Her heart ached, wishing she had made the effort to be closer to him, she knew their parents were rarely in Chicago, Gamma Mill had died, leaving him with really no family there.

"I'm sorry John, I am.  All those years, I wish I had been there for you more, been your sister.  I thought you were okay, you weren't okay, ever, were you."

He shrugged.  "I don't even know anymore Barbie.  I honestly don't know.  I spent so much of my life trying to be what the family wanted of me, but also trying to do what I love.  Am I okay?  Have I ever been?  Who knows?  It's been the same way my entire life, I am back to being alone."

"You're not alone John.  I know we haven't been close, but I am still your sister, always.  So Harper, is she a keeper?"

"No, this is an affair Barbie.  She doesn't want more than that from me, she never did.  We care about each other a lot, we trust each other, I love her, I do, but as she wisely pointed out this is not the right way to start up a relationship.  She is getting over a bad divorce, I am trying to deal with a cheating wife, so...no, we will have our fun and try and move on from there."

"Too bad, I quite like her.  She has spirit, and I can see that she does care about you.  I get her point though, you aren't ready to give your heart away again, are you?"

"Why, so another woman can rip it out and tromp on it?  No thanks, I think I am pretty much done with love and all the crap it brings.  The last two major relationships have gone to shit pretty fast, and I have to face the fact that no woman is going to want me long term.  I have way too much baggage, I'm a mess, Barbie, my family is a nightmare, I'm a drug addict, recovered, but still...why would any woman want to get involved with me."

"John, there is so much to love about you, there always has been.  Maybe you are just picking the wrong women.  I kind of get it you know?  Losing a child is devastating of course, not everyone recovers from it.  Look at mom, she is still not quite over Bobby.  You see how she is."

"Not really, actually.  I haven't even seen her in years.  She never comes to Chicago, I don't even know where she lives at this point.  Not even a Christmas card for years now, so she is no longer part of my life."

Barbie frowned.  "Do you see Jack?"

"Occasionally, but he is not all that warm. He used to be more so when I was little, but after Bobby died he was not around much.  You know I was mostly at boarding school and Gamma took me in over the holidays when they weren't there.  I haven't had a Christmas or any sort of holiday with the family in quite a while, I saw dad over Christmas the year after Gamma died, and it was okay, but beyond that, we don't have much use for each other."

"John, I didn't know things had gotten that bad.  Mom never sees you?"

"Eleanor?  Nope, I don't exist in her mind.  Whatever, I have lived this long without parents, I am sure I can survive the rest of my life without them.  I haven't had parents, truly, since Bobby died and they left.  I'll stop feeling sorry for myself now, and do what I do, get on with my life.  I'll spend a bit more time in Darfur until they bring someone else in to run the camp and then I'll probably go home to Chicago."

"Kem is over?"

He shrugged.  "I don't know.  Would you take me back if I was your husband?  I have been hanging out in Italy with an ex girlfriend, and it hasn't exactly been innocent either.  Far from it, I had sex with another woman in our apartment, and daily since I left Paris two weeks ago.  I don't even want to stop either, what does that say?"

"That you are angry with your wife and exacting a bit of revenge on her?  Or Harper is so damn hot you can't shag her often enough?  Maybe a bit of both?"

"Nail on the head, I guess it's a bit of both.  Harper makes me feel needed, she wants to be there.  The last few women in my life have not really wanted to be there, or it sure doesn't feel like it."

John was surprised at how insightful Barbie was, and he found himself spilling his guts to her, telling her all about Abby and Kem, who had been the most serious of the relationships, and the most damaging to him.

"They were the wrong women John, you are a catch, for so many reasons.  I can see how you treat Harper, you don't treat her as expendable or some conquest, you treat her like the real woman she is, there is real affection between the two of you.  Don't lose the ability to love, don't shut yourself off honey.  Maybe it's over with Kem, give yourself time to heal and then find yourself someone else.  Being with someone just because they need you is not the right way to have a relationship, you have to find a woman where it is give and take, where she can support you as much as you support her.  I see that with Harper, she is giving to you as much as she is taking.  Don't let the woman become an emotional vampire."

"You sound like Jack, that is what he call Eleanor."

"With good reason.  I know you thought you loved Abby, but in reality, she was an emotional vampire, I don't hear exactly what you got out of that relationship, other than the feeling of being needed to a certain extent.  She sucked you dry, John, she sounds shut down.  Same with Kem, she is shut down, for different reasons, but she is taking everything from you, and not giving back.  You might want to think about that, you have pursued the wrong women, but it sounds like you have known some truly loving and giving women, the strong ones who aren't quite so needy don't catch you the same way.  Stop.  Break that cycle, find a woman who can give you as much love and emotional support as you give her, and you will be amazed.  That is the woman who you should marry, hold onto, and work your ass off to keep.  The others?  Accept that they have their own baggage and it is not up to you to make it all better, it has to be up to them to make themselves better.  Same with you John, after Harper, don't get involved again, not seriously anyways.  Deal with Kem, let yourself heal, then move on."

"You think so, Barbie?  Do you think some woman is ever going to be able to get past all of my baggage?"

"Yes, John, I know so.  Accept it, accept your own baggage and put it away, even better, throw some of it overboard.  Refuse to let it define you, and move on.  Let the past relationships go, quit dwelling on the Abby's and look for someone more like a Harper.  Be happy.  In the meantime, have fun, if Harper is making you feel good, go with it."

"Food for thought."

Harper finally joined them an hour or so later, feeling absolutely terrific.  It was amazing to her how good she was feeling these days, the combination of actually being able to sleep, the sun, the sex, and the love she felt with John was making all the difference in her world.  After leaving Derrick, or Derrick leaving her rather, she didn't sleep well.  Her commanding officer had ordered her to take some medical leave to get over things, he knew how tough it had been for Harper.  Losing her husband, the issues with the pregnancies, and the lack of sleep was making her a loose canon, and he wanted her to have time to heal her broken heart.

She knew Barbie was watching them, but in some small way she felt approval from John's sister, especially this morning.  John also was looking better, she knew he often didn't sleep well either, but aside from waking up in the middle of the night for a little hot sex, they were both finally getting some rest.  She had the feeling he had unloaded more of his troubles, and he was looking thoughtful.  

They went back to the room after breakfast to brush teeth and freshen up, and she came out to find him on the bed, writing.

"What are you doing?"  She tried to peek at the slips of paper that were piling up beside him.

"Nope, no way, you are not allowed to read those."  He scooped them up trying to keep them from her, but she playfully wrestled with him, finally getting one away and trying to read it.  Until he got her pinned to the bed with him on top, both of them panting heavily.

"Now what are you going to do with me?"  Harper teased him lightly.

"Nothing."  He gave her a wicked grin, leaning in to suck her lip and brush his lips over hers, then he backed off and went back to his papers.

Ah, being a tease.  Two could play at that one, Harper was the master.  

"Fine."  She flounced off making sure to add an extra wiggle in her walk, finally coming back out.  "Let's go, are you going to do that all day?"

"No, just...ah, it's really silly, so I'm not going to tell you."

Harper moved close, placing her hands against his cheeks, straddling his lap as she did, wiggling slightly.  "Tell me baby."  She whispered against his lips, kissing him gently.  "I don't care if it's silly, tell me."

She leaned back enough to meet his eyes, raising an eyebrow.

"I read one of them, just a little bit of it, what are you doing?"

John sighed.  "Okay, but don't laugh.  Barbie and I were talking this morning and she said a few things that kind of made sense.  So...I am going to take her advice, and it is probably more psychological than anything, but...you know how we talk about baggage?"

"Sure, we both have a ton of it."

"Right.  So she made the suggestion of tossing it overboard.  Get over it, you know?  Leave it behind?"

Harper knit her brow, then the understanding flooded her.  Toss it overboard.  They were on a yacht.

"Ah, I get it.  Hmmm, you know, I did a bit of Psych and that is actually brilliant John.  A bit of a mind game, but...I wonder if it would work.  Maybe I should try tossing a bit of my own."

That is how they found themselves later in the day, as they were sailing towards Sicily, standing at the back of the boat, taking turns at letting their troubles go.  John turned his into airplanes, sending each one off after a moment of thought.

"How do you make such perfect planes?"  Harper was watching them sail for quite a distance before they landed in the wake of the boat.

"A patient of mine, this young boy.  I have never forgotten him.  He was paralyzed in an accident, out playing, didn't see it coming.  I met him on one of my first days back after Rehab, I was feeling down and sorry for myself, but this kid, had such an amazing attitude, so positive despite his challenges.  It gave me courage somehow, seeing someone so young handle things far better than I ever did, a bit humbling really."

"Wow, I wished I could have met him."

"Yeah, you would have liked him.  I used to visit him once in a while, but then of course he grew up and has his own life now.  Great kid though.  He made these amazing planes that flew forever, we were sending them off the top of County while we waited for his ride to take him back home."

"Show me.  I want to make my troubles fly away too."  Her hazel eyes met his, and he carefully showed her how to fold the paper.  

Once they finished, she leaned back into his arms, watching the sun set as they pulled into the harbour, thinking that it had been a pretty great day overall, and both feeling just a little bit better about life in general.  John rested his cheek against her hair, feeling peace flow over him, more content than he had been in a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you are enjoying the story, should I continue?


	12. Goodbye...Forever?

"Time to get dressed for dinner." John kissed her neck, soft, sensuous little kisses. They had been teasing each other since this morning, and Harper was getting a bit riled up.

"Mmhm, let's go do that." Harper entwined their fingers, dragging him back towards the cabin. The moment they were inside she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply, then pulling away, sashaying in the bathroom. Carter watched her go with a slight smile, knowing she was trying to get him going, and he had to admit, she was. It seemed like they could barely go a few hours before they were having sex again somewhere...it was like they were challenging each other constantly.

He followed her into the bathroom, leaning in the doorway as she pulled her t-shirt over her head, her eyes meeting his in the mirror. Wordlessly she turned, letting her shorts drop to the floor of the bathroom, now standing in lacy bra and panties, a coquettish smile on her lips. John took several steps forward, lifting her arm, bringing her wrist up against his mouth, lips teasing lightly as an arm ran around her waist. Harper let him pull her against his firm warm body, she could feel his hardness through his shorts.

Harper took his hand, kissing the tip of each finger, then taking his thumb into her mouth, wrapping her tongue around it and sucking as she backed him towards the bedroom.  John felt the back of his legs against the bed, letting her push him down, her hands roughly working on his shorts, dropping them unceremoniously to the floor as she knelt beside the bed.  Her mouth was now engaged elsewhere, her lips curling tightly around him, her head bobbing slightly as she moved up and down his shaft.

She let him out with a slight pop of her lips, then proceeded to lick him all the way around, cupping his balls with a careful squeeze before taking him into her mouth again.

"Harper, god."  He moaned as she worked him over fully, barely able to contain himself.  He pulled her upwards, wanting to return some of the pleasure, she kneeled over him where he sat on the edge of the bed, pushing herself down onto him.  She let him support her, an arm around her back as she moved purposefully up and down, making them both groan.

He stilled her hips, managing to flip them and move them onto the bed a bit more before their bodies continued their sensual dance, faster and faster until they were both breathless, crying out in ecstasy.

"Shower."  Was all John managed to squeak out, dragging himself off her body.  He ached slightly, the non stop sex being fabulous, but his body was starting to protest a bit.

Harper heard the water come on, rolling off the bed to join him.  Very decidedly a time for a break, tonight might be just for sleep, her body a bit sore from all the activity.

* * *

 

The next morning dawned bright and sunny.

John tossed the life jacket over the Harper, they were anchored not far off shore, close to a natural rock arch.  Barbie was off with Phillippe, disappeared into their cabin, they both knew that it would be a while before they reemerged.  John had told the captain they were going ashore, had the crew pull out on of the jet skis for them.

They launched of the back platform, John crawling on first, Harper throwing her leg over and sliding up close behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist.  She pressed her face against his warm back as they sped towards the arch, the jet ski skimming and bouncing over the waves as he gunned the engine.  He slowed and worked with the current going through the arch, Harper looking up with a gasp as she realized they had entered a protected and totally private cove, the jet ski with a shallow draw, allowing them to pass over the coral reef that was built up around the entrance.

"Wow, incredible, I would never have known this was here."

"Not a lot of people do, but I remember this place, I've been here before, a long time ago.  Worth seeing, and there are no other boats anchored around here right now, so I took the chance that we would have the beach to ourselves."  

He carefully beached the watercraft, pulling it up and tying a line to prevent it from washing back into the sea.  The beach was crystal sand, warm under Harper's feet.

John pulled out a couple towels that had been secured in a water proof bag, along with a small soft sided cooler.

"What did you bring us?"

"Just a few little snacks, thought we could have a bit of a picnic."  He peeled off all but his swim shorts, stowing the clothing high up on the beach out of the reach of the waves that were lapping up against the shoreline.  

Harper looked up and down the beach, the area was relatively small, self contained and here was absolutely not another soul here with them.  She peeled off her shirt and shorts first, then proceeded to untie her bikini top, dropping it to the sand on top of her discarded clothes.  She followed by sliding off her bottoms, now completely nude, wandering nonchalantly back down towards the water.

"Going to join me?"  Her voice carried back to John on the soft breeze.

"Hell yes."  He said softly, letting his swim trunks drop, leaving them where they lay.  Harper had ventured into the water, letting it refresh her, the sun beating down on them, a typical hot summer day for Italy.  

They swam and played in the surf for a while, until Harper flopped on the sand, letting the waves wash gently over her.  It was amazing here, the cove well protected, the wave action gentle.  John dropped down beside her, leaning in to kiss her and brush some sand from her face.  He let his eyes run down her sun kissed skin, admiring yet again the lithe form beside him.  Harper reached up to wrap her hand into his hair, bringing his lips down to hers, letting a hand travel down his back, exploring the sinewy muscles.

She could feel the water tickling her toes as their tongues explored and probed, the stroking of his hand as it caressed her breasts, her stomach, her hips.  She reached down to wrap her hand around his erection, stroking him as his hand found the wetness between her legs.  His body covered hers finally, the slight roughness of the sand chafing her body as he entered her with a firm thrust, their limbs entwining as they set the rhythm, each stroke punctuated by a soft cry of pleasure.

There was something freeing about making love on the beach, both letting every inhibition go, their noises progressively louder as they loved each other with wild abandon.  Both let out a unrestrained primal cry as the world crashed in, collapsing into a sweaty salty pile, panting heavily.

John finally withdrew, flopping over onto his back, enjoying the solar warmth on every part of his body and he entwined his fingers with hers.

"Oh man, I think my knees lost a layer of skin."

"I think my ass lost a layer, but it was great, so, so, good."  Harper breathed out a with a soft sigh.  "Wow, the sex is amazing with you, I think you are going to spoil me for other men."

"I might be a bit spoiled for other women.  Sex on the beach, highly recommended."  He propped himself up, then rose to his feet, walking back into the water, rinsing off the sand that seemed to be absolutely everywhere.

 Harper watched him go, admiring how even with the scars he was a fine looking man, finally following him in.

"I'm thirsty, and a bit hungry."  Harper gazed longingly up the beach at where the cooler sat.

"Me too.  Let's do justice to the food they sent with us, and I think I need to put my shorts back on."

"No, don't do that, this is like our own nude beach."

"Uh huh, but...the boys don't usually get out in the sun like this, I would hate to get sunburned, if you know what I mean." 

Harper giggled.  "Oh god, that would be bad, yes, put your shorts back on, maybe I should cover up the girls too."

They both put on their clothing, John flipping out the towels so they could sit and share the repast.  

"I'm going to get fat, all this amazing Italian food, they sure know how to cook."  Harper took a last bite, not able to eat another morsel.

"I know, between that and the gelato.  But don't you worry, we are burning off the calories just as fast as we are eating them.  You are beautiful, I love all the soft curves."  

The sun was starting to dip down on the horizon now, and John noticed.

"We should head back before the sun goes down."  

They gathered their things, stowing everything back on the jet ski before they made their way back through the arch.

* * *

 Harper watched John give his sister a quick hug, he was looking quite a bit better these days.  Not that he had been looking bad, but his load seemed lighter, he appeared less stressed.

"Good bye Harper, very nice to meet you."  Barbie gave her a warm hug of her own.

"You too, Barbie, thanks for everything, I had a terrific time."

It was true, the time on the Solange had been incredible in so many ways, and Harper knew she would never forget it.  It gave her a new appreciation of John's life, that was certain.  She knew of course that he came from money, but knowing and really getting it were two different things.

They disembarked from the yacht, their things loaded into the new rental car they were picking up, having returned the other before they got on the boat.  

"Ready?"  John wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, kissing her neck lightly.

"Ready for what?"  She trickled her fingers down his arm.

"Wow, you still have energy for that?  Even after last night?  And this morning?"  John laughed lightly, thinking of their last night on the Solange.

 It had been a warm night, with a soft breeze and they had...occupied themselves...finding a quiet spot on deck to make love to each other.  Then again back in the room, and again this morning just after they woke up.

"I want your body, what can I say?  I simply cannot get enough of you."  Harper nibbled on his ear lobe.  "You are so sexy, and an amazing lover, what am I going to do when you go back to Africa?"

"Maybe...if you have days off you should call me, and we could...get together, somewhere in Europe.  Not quite done our bucket list, are we?"

"Mm, I will think about it."

* * *

Hours later they were back at the hotel, both exhausted from a full day of sightseeing.  Harper took a cool shower, then flopped onto the bed, John not far behind her.  

"I am so tired, I don't think I can keep my eyes open."  Harper buried her head into the pillow, falling asleep almost immediately.

Hours later though she was wide awake, she had crashed hard, then woke up to some sound or other in the hotel and she was not getting back to sleep in a hurry.  She could hear John's deep breathing, he was asleep and he didn't want to wake him.  She slipped quietly out of bed, moving to the private patio with a cold drink of water. She lay on the lounger, hearing the sounds of the sea not far away, staring up at the moon hanging in the night sky.  

"Harper."  She felt the movement behind her as John came out of the room in just boxers, rubbing his eyes sleepily.  "I thought you'd left me or something."

"Nah, not without saying good bye, John, never without saying good bye.  We have a few more days, right?"

"We do.  It's beautiful out here."  John lay on the lounger beside her, reaching to take her small hand in his larger one.

The silence was comfortable and companionable, both drifting back into sleep.  At some point Harper felt John's strong arms lift her, the soft kiss on her hair as he tucked her back into the large luxurious bed.  The weight of his body as it settled beside her as she fell back into a deep slumber.

* * *

 

"Oh god, John, oh god."  Harper moaned as their bodies rocked together, wrapping her leg tighter around his hips, wanting him closer, wanting him deeper inside her body.  

John moved faster against her, chasing the seemingly elusive climax, until the world shattered into a million pieces, his heart pounding in his ears.

"Harper."  He sighed softly, knowing this was their last time together.  Their car would be here in the next 20 minutes, taking them to the airport, John off to Africa and Harper back to Germany.

They both dressed silently, sharing glances, neither knowing quite what to say.  One last look around the suite, and they carried their bags down to the front desk, John checking them out and clearing the bill.

Once in the back of the car, their hands found each others, and entwined, her head rested against his shoulder.

"John, I am going to miss you."  She whispered.

"Me too, baby, me too."  He squeezed her fingers.  "I miss you already."

After check in, they worked their way through the security line, finally coming to the point where they had to go to their own gates.  Harper threw herself into his arms, feeling his warm breath on her neck.  The soft kiss, the deep inhale of breath as they prepared to say good bye.

"You take care of yourself, Harper...and my offer stands."

"Not going back to your wife?"

"No, how can I?  If she really loved me, she would never have done it, and I don't think I can ever forgive her.  I'm going back to Darfur, let things settle, figure out my next step.  Maybe I should just move back to Chicago...my marriage is over, but right now I need to keep busy, and also get them to find someone to replace me."

"I'm sorry John, I am.  This trip was...unforgettable.  I will treasure our memories, and I will love you forever."

"I love you too, Harper, thank you, for everything.  I don't know how I would have gotten through it without you."

He hugged her, she felt like he might never let her go, and in some ways, she wished that could be the future, waking and falling asleep in this man's arms.  How far they had travelled since the innocent days when they were medical students, she wished desperately for those simpler times.

"Good-bye."  She stroked his face, turning to her gate, stopping one last time to look at him.

He waved as she turned, watching her turn the corner, then sighed, heading towards his own gate, back to his life, knowing he would love Harper forever.


	13. Booty Call?

John was exhausted, another long hot day, taking a quick shower in the pathetic dribble of lukewarm water.  Not that it needed to be hot, after a day on the sun scorched earth and in the dust, the coolness of the water was refreshing, even the tiny bit he was allowed to wash off the sweat and blood from so many patients.

It had been a particularly bad one, more raped women, more gunshot wounds, and of course the endless trail of patients sick from diseases so easily treated in Chicago but impossible here with the limited amount of antibiotics.  

He towelled off quickly, feeling the sweat start to prickle his body again already, it would be hours before it truly cooled off.  He dropped his things in his room and joined the line up in the dining hall for what passed as dinner.  He sighed, missing the good food and hot showers...though his time here was winding down, he knew it would only be a matter of time and he would be on a plane out of here, he had given his notice to the Alliance.

He was going to give them a few months to find his replacement, it was not easy to find someone who wanted this job, he had fallen into it more than looked to be here.  Debbie had coerced him into coming, and it had grown on him, a bit like a bad fungus really...but the people here were wonderful, exhibiting a spirit of survival that you never saw in the States, overcoming true adversity, fighting everyday just to stay alive as the war raged around them.  He would miss the people, though not the conditions, he appreciated every good meal and clean running water from the tap.

"John!"  Debbie waved, beckoning him from 'their' table.  She was incredible, this woman.  She had come from the Congo with bad conditions, to Darfur with even worse conditions, but it never seemed to get her down.  He wondered sometimes about getting back together with her, maybe he had been a fool to give up any woman for Kem.  But his heart had spoken, pulled him to Kem who was a bit of a law unto herself.  

No one told Kem what to do, least of all him.  Why he was such a sucker for these strong, need no one type women, he could never quite fathom, but she reeled him in.  Not that she was a bad person, she was not a gold digger or materialistic, in fact they were quite a bit alike, optimists, idealists, wanting to fix everything that was wrong with the world.  Perfect for each other until Joshua had died, and the world crashed in on him.

The night she left, he had asked her to marry him, and all she could say was that she loved him, but needed time.  He could never understand it, if she loved him so much, why was she leaving when they needed each other the most?  He had tried to go visit her, but she rebuffed him, saying she needed time apart.  Finally with encouragement from Fabienne, they gave it another try...and it had crashed and burned.  

"Bad one huh?"  Debbie rubbed his arm as he dropped into the seat beside her.

"One of the worst, it felt like we lost more than we saved today.  I think I need to get out of here."

Debbie held out an envelope.  "Well, maybe you should.  This is from Kinshasa, it just came in and I said I would make sure you got it right away."

John looked at the writing, knowing it was from Kem.  He still had not spoken to her, not for about a month now, not after finding out about Michel and then sleeping with Harper.  He ripped it open, skimming through the words...Kem begging him to come and see her in Kinshasa, that they 'needed to talk'.

"Kem?"  Debbie still had not managed to pry the story out of John, she was curious.  He had gone to Paris, then disappeared for several weeks, coming back to Darfur looking better than he had in a while.  Debbie had assumed he'd had a nice vacation with Kem, but...then she found out Kem had been in Kinshasa and Kisangani the whole time John was gone, and she had been moody and bitchy.

"Yeah."  He pushed his plate away, having barely taken three bites.  "I guess I should go see her.  I don't really want to, but...I need to."

"John, lets go for a walk."  Debbie pulled him to his feet, holding his hand to lead him out of the dining hall.  They didn't walk far of course, the sun was starting to set and it was not safe to leave the compound in any case.  The Janjaweed would kill them rather than look at them, after they brutally raped Debbie of course, and John was not willing to take the chance or put Debbie in that kind of danger.  

"You want to know what is going on?"  He finally spoke, sitting down on the large rock they often sat and talked on.  They had been lovers, which morphed into a strong friendship over time.  They had been through a lot together, and Debbie would always be a friend.  Good friends were something he needed more of, he had lost too many over the years, mostly to death and it was difficult for John to get past somedays.  He had lost so many people close to him through death, he often wondered how he had survived.

"Yes.  You disappeared for weeks, Kem called incessantly hoping you had come back, why did she not know where you were?"

"Long story."

"Can't be that long and where am I going to go?"

"I don't know...hot date?  That new doctor, he was flirting with you."

"Uh huh, and he has a mark on his finger where he just took off his wedding ring.  If he wants a little African fling then he can look elsewhere."

"African fling huh.  How many kids do you think he has?  I think two, and a perky blond wife who is high maintenance, so he needed to take a vacation and get some because she cut him off."

"Three, and she's a lovely woman and he is just a cheating slime bucket who wants to get his rocks off with any woman who will lay down for him.  But you are avoiding the question."

"Are you sure you really want to know?"

"What, are you going to tell me you were off for three weeks having some hot affair with a cute blond?"  Debbie gave him a playful shove, then narrowed her eyes when he didn't respond.  "You fucker, you did not cheat on Kem."

"Well, only after she cheated on me.  All that time she has been spending in Paris?  She was fucking Michel."

"That little French boy toy?  Her ex boyfriend?  How did you find out?"

"Remember how she begged me to come see her?  Well, I get there and she says 'we have to talk'.  Never a good phrase to hear coming out your wife's mouth.  So she just told me, said she 'felt bad' about it and was sorry.  Months she was sleeping with him, and sleeping with me, and she's sorry?"

"Oh John, I don't even know what to say, I cannot believe she did that!  So you just took off and found your own fling?  Seriously?"

"Not exactly.  Kem and I had just had our fight, and I turn around and there is one of my ex girlfriends...I dated her way back when we were medical students.  It was bizarre, she came up and said hi, and we went for a drink.  Which turned into drunken sex in a nearby hotel, which turned into a three week trip to Italy, with a whole lot more sex, both drunken and otherwise."

"She knew you were married?"

"Of course she did, she had just gotten out of a bad marriage where she caught her husband cheating with a good friend, walked in on them going at it.  So she could relate, I told her the whole story, and we just...got our revenge I guess, though I wasn't looking at it like that, it was more that it felt good."

Debbie laughed out loud.  "Sex usually does, drunken or otherwise, and I have to say, I always enjoyed going to bed with you, I imagine this ex girlfriend wasn't too disappointed."

"I didn't mean it felt good _that_ way."  He had to give a small laugh at the look on Debbie's face and her knowing smile.  "Okay, it felt good  _that_ way too, but it helped, Kem...god Debbie, I _loved_ her so much and she cheated on me, I gave up so much, my job, my house, everything in Chicago to move to Africa and we barely spend any time together.  I made a huge mistake leaving the States, and I have asked the Alliance to find a replacement to run the camp...in a few months I am moving back the US."

"No way, you are leaving me in this cesspool by myself?"

"Sorry honey, but I have to go, I can't be here anymore, I have to go back and rebuild my life.  I'm not happy, I haven't been for a while, I think you know that, and I have...things going on in Chicago."

"Right, Richie Rich has a big health centre to deal with and finish.  Just how much money do you have John?  I have always been curious."

"More than you want to know about, Debbie.  My grandparents were philanthropists, I am actually the Chairman of the Carter Family Foundation, which was left to me along with the rest of the estate when my grandmother died."

"How much are you contributing to the Carter Centre?  I mean, you aren't just building it right?"

"Oh no, I am, the bill will be about...$200 million when it's done and the Foundation I run is footing the bill.  Family money, my ancestors cornered the coal market and made a bundle and it just grew from there."

Debbie eyed him carefully then shook her head.  "I cannot even picture it...I mean Kem said she was a bit shocked when she went back to Chicago with you, but she didn't say much else aside from the fact you owned a mini castle."

"My grandmothers house, and it was a mansion yes, on a lot of land, which passed to me when my grandmother died.  My first car was a limo, and I have a lot of money, but it sure doesn't make me happy.  Every time I get close to having what I really want, it gets taken away, I would trade it all, believe me."

"I understand John, I do, my family is not nearly as wealthy, but they are upper middle class and horrified that I chose to work for the Red Cross in Africa.  So you going to go see Kem?"

"Yeah, I've been avoiding it and I have to face the music."

* * *

 

John stepped off the helicopter, grabbing his bag and giving the pilot a wave.  He straightened and looked around, turning to see her standing, watching him.

"John, you finally came."  Her voice was soft, god he still loved the way she said his name, why did he let her have so much power over him.

"Kem."  He didn't know what else to say.  Was he going to tell her about Harper?  

He followed her back to the small house they had shared at times, looking around, seeing nothing much had changed.

Kem stepped in front of him, stroking his cheek, tears welling in her eyes, and he could feel himself coming undone.  Her arms wrapping around his neck, her soft lips meeting his, her body moulding against him.  His mind was protesting...no...don't, but his traitorous body was responding to her touch.  

He felt like it was a dream, her soft hands running over him, their clothes coming off, her soft moans as their bodies entwined and joined.  The way they rocked against each other, her legs and arms wrapping around him, trapping him in her clutches.  

" _John, oh John._ "  Her soft cry as she climaxed, rolling them, her body sliding against his as she took control, moving on top of him.  The world stopping as he felt his own release, the feeling that he had just made another huge mistake, grateful that he'd at least had the sense to use a condom.

He pulled away, sliding out of the bed and going into the tiny bathroom, taking his time, trying to gather his wits about him.  Strangely, he felt like he'd cheated on Harper, not that he'd cheated on Kem with Harper and now he was just having sex with his wife.  It was messed up, how Kem so easily took him into her bed.  The sex was great, it felt great, but it felt so wrong.

So wrong to be having sex with his wife, how could it be wrong to make love to her?  No...that was the problem, he was no longer making love to Kem, he was just fucking her, he'd fucked her, he didn't think what they'd just done had anything to do with love at all, it was lust, it was revenge, it was...all so wrong.  Being with Kem, it was wrong, why did it feel so good?

He sighed, staring at himself in the mirror, hating who was looking back, and not for the first time in his life.  Whimp, he'd caved, he didn't think he could ever touch her again, yet he had, without a second thought, he'd had sex with her, even after she'd been with someone else.  After he'd been with Harper, though he was pretty sure Kem had no idea, or maybe she did?  Did she suspect he'd been with someone all those weeks he was away?  Or did she really think he was off licking his wounds, pining away for her.

Well, he could not stay in here all day, time to man up.  He opened the door, gathering up his clothes, yanking them on.

"John, come back to bed."

"That was so wrong, Kem, we can't be doing this."

"Why not?  You're my husband, we enjoy having sex, why can't we have sex?"

"Because Kem, you...and him...are you still seeing him?"

"Sometimes.  You were gone a long time, and...I missed you."

"So you screwed Michel because you missed me?  What kind of sick and twisted logic is that, Kem?  Why did you want me to come see you?  So we could fuck?  Is that all that is left of us?  If you are still seeing him, then you aren't very committed to our marriage."

"You're the one who wanted to get married John, you are the one who keeps pressuring me to have a baby.  I can't, don't you get it?  We can never replace him, he's gone, he died inside me, and I still had to give birth to him.  Do you have any idea what it's like?  Having your child die inside you?"

"I think I have some idea, I was there after all, even if you didn't notice.  I don't want to replace him, he can never be replaced, I lost him too, I miss him too, I wanted him, I loved him.  I just want us to move on and not let it define us, people have more than one child all the time, people lose children every day, but it doesn't mean you don't miss them or can ever replace them.  I loved you Kem, god, I loved you so much, but it's just not enough for you, is it?  This was a huge mistake, I don't know if there is anything left to say."

"I love you too, but...yes, I missed you in my bed, I am not sure where we are at, but we can have a bit of fun, you are my husband and it is never wrong for us to have sex John.  We're careful, I don't want to get pregnant, I don't know if I ever want a baby now.

"Seriously Kem?  Call Michel if you just want to fuck.  Call me if you really want to try and have a marriage, no more Michel, or don't."

"You don't even know what you want do you?"

"I thought I did, I thought you were the woman I wanted to be with forever, I wanted to have a family with you, but...you don't want that do you?  You're right, glad we used a condom, don't want to get you knocked up, bring a child into this mess of...whatever you want to call this relationship.  I thought I could do this, that we could talk, figure things out, but that is not what you intended at all, is it?"

He picked up his bag and walked out, knowing he was on the first plane away from Africa.  He had some time off from the IDP camp, and he was not going back quite yet.  He hitched a ride to the airport, getting the first flight to Europe, ending up in Spain.  

He picked up his phone when he got there.  "Harper."

"John!  Where are you baby?"

"Madrid.  I miss you, any chance you can come down here for a few days?"

* * *

 Harper sat across from John, he had met her at the airport, and they had decided to get something to eat before they did anything else.

"John."  Harper reached over and took his hand.  "There is something going on and I need you to tell me."

"I know, I have to tell you, but you are not going to be happy."

"Kem, you got back together with her?"

"Not exactly...but...I had sex with her.  Why does it feel like I cheated on you, I'm sorry, it was wrong, it was wrong to call you, I should leave you alone.  I wouldn't blame you if you just got on the plane and told me to leave you alone."

"You feel guilty about sleeping with your wife?  She _is_ your wife John, I'm not mad if you had sex with her.  I'm disappointed that you went back to her, a little jealous that she had you, but...I'm the other woman, _she_ is your wife."

"I didn't mean for it to happen, it just did, you know?  Right after, I knew it was wrong, we had a fight and I left.  It was one time, and I...don't want it to happen again.  I feel disgusted with myself for being so weak, for letting her draw me in.  She's still seeing him, and she called me for what?  A booty call?  That is what if felt like, she needed sex so she called me."

"And then you called me.  Is this a booty call?"

"No, Harper, no, I...needed to talk to someone, I can always talk to you, I missed you, even after only a couple of weeks, I missed you so much.  But, maybe you should just go home, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to take it like that, and I would understand if you never wanted to see me again."

"Did you use a condom?"

"What?"

"With Kem, did you at least use a condom when you had sex with her?"

"Yes, we used a condom and it was one time and I left."

"Okay, then no problem, I haven't had sex with anyone else, last time was right before we left for the airport, unless you count...you know."

"Not quite the same thing, but...did you bring your toys?"

"Uh huh, maybe later we can have show and tell.  I missed you too.  Why don't we find somewhere that we can a proper drink?"  Harper held out her hand.  "Don't feel guilty for having sex with your wife, I am going to give you something to feel really and truly guilty about."  She winked at him.

John took her hand with a little shake of his head, Harper was an interesting woman, no question about it.

* * *

 

They found a patio and started with some shots, moving on to a pitcher of beer.  Harper flirted and teased, getting his mind off the whole Kem situation, moving closer and touching him more as they both got slightly drunk.

By the time they managed to get back to the hotel, they were both ready to rip each others clothes off, barely getting in the door before Harper was undoing his pants and he had her pressed up against the door. 

"Ouch, the handle."  Harper giggled.  

"Sorry, sorry."  He moved her over slightly, realizing that she was without underwear, and wearing one of her sexy sundresses.  He turned her, pressing her up against the wall, having been freed from his boxers, he kicked them aside before entering her with a sharp thrust.

"Mm baby, yes."  Harper let out a little moan, from the minute he had called her, she was anticipating this moment when he would be inside her.  She didn't give a damn that he'd fucked his wife in the meantime, though she gave him props for telling her, giving her the option to walk away.  She was also thrilled he had used protection with Kem, because she didn't have to worry about it...he had protected both of them by using the condom.   

John wrapped his arm around her, playing with her as he moved against her body, pumping his hips against her in a steady but gentle rhythm.  This felt so good and so right, being with Harper, hearing her moans of pleasure as he stroked in and out of her.

"John, oh god, yes."  He felt her muscles clench, then start to pulse.  He stopped and withdrew, turning her, drawing her down the floor with him, now on top of her body, moving down to cover her with his mouth.

Harper pushed her hips up, letting herself cry out as he circled her with his tongue, sucking on her, teasing her and working her until she spasmed under his touch.  "Shit, shit."  It rolled over her uncontrollably, he took her over the edge a second time before moving up her body, claiming her mouth with his.

Harper was beyond horny at this point, she wanted him inside her again, he had not come yet and she knew when he did it was going to be fireworks for both of them.  She made him sit, maneuvering them so he was leaning back slightly, pushing herself onto his stiff cock, making them both moan.  She started to move, circling her hips at first, then pumping up and down slowly, drawing it out.

"Oh Harper, god baby, that feels good."  He reached out, fondling her full breasts, leaning in as her lithe body writhed against him, taking her nipples into his mouth in turn.  He loved how she kept changing things up, speeding her movements, slowing down, circling, then pumping against him...it made it easier for him to last longer, but it felt incredible too.  She knew this, they'd had a lot of sex, they could read each other, a this moment he could see the little furrow in her brow, she was close again, he knew he could make her come and still be good for bit longer.

He worked his hand against her, hearing her breathing become rough, turning into short pants as she gave a sharp cry. "Ah, god baby."  She was gasping, her head resting against his slightly sweaty chest as she recovered, her body pulsing madly.  He took a few deep breaths, pulling her off of him before she set him off.

"How do you want it."  

Harper knew from this question that he was not going to be holding back this time, she pulled him down on top of her, guiding him into her body, lining them up so he was rubbing against her whole body, his thighs squeezing the outside of hers.  She loved how tight this felt, how it rubbed her clit while having him inside of her.  He kissed her, their tongues tangling and probing as he started to rock against her their chests rubbing, their sweat slickened bodies creating friction on her sensitive nipples.  

" _Oh_ , _oh_ , _oh_."  Became the constant stream from Harpers mouth, louder and more urgent as they both got closer and closer to climaxing.  

" _Oh_ _Harper_."  John's moan in her ear, his long groan as he started to throb and pulse inside her, his grinding movement which made her cry out as he pulled her into the chasm with him.  

John was seeing spots in front of his eyes, dots of colour as he spilled inside her, Harper thought she almost blacked out.  Fireworks, together they created fireworks.

 

* * *

They walked hand in hand, having enjoyed an amazing meal at a local restaurant recommended by the locals.  After their marathon, they had showered and gone out for some late afternoon sightseeing, dinner, and now were looking for a night club.  No matter what else, Harper was fun...FUN, full stop, capitals FUN.

John half wished she could be talked into moving back to Chicago, but he'd already tried that and knew it was just not going to happen.

"Here, this is the one!"  Harper yanked him into the line up, which was not so long at the moment, but not long after they'd joined it started to grow exponentially.  It wasn't long before they were inside, and on the floor in a crush of bodies.  Harper loved to dance and it showed, she was attracting a few men with her moves, which frankly made John jealous if he were honest.  He made sure they had a lot of contact, full body contact, sending the message that she was with him, and they should keep their eyes and hands to themselves.

Harper loved seeing how possessive John was, it made her feel good that he wanted her so much...and she wanted him just as badly.  She started a little dirty dancing with him, as she thought of it, letting their bodies rub, letting him wrap his arms around her from behind, bringing her up against him.  She had to admit, he was a pretty good dancer, and managed to twirl and spin her around with the best of them.

"Time for a drink."  She dragged him off the floor, pushing through the crowd to get to the bar.  He bought them drinks, which they both sipped gratefully, the club was a hot sweaty mass of bodies.  Harper dragged him towards the back of the club, it was darker and though still quite crowded, she wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him for a long hot kiss, rubbing herself against him.

"You are getting me all worked up, baby.  I am not going to be able to walk out of here."

Harper giggled.  "Like half the men in here aren't half aroused, or wholly aroused?  Even the gay ones want a little action tonight, I swear there was a gay couple doing it on the dance floor."

"I didn't know it was that kind of club."

Harper reached up and turned his head, he followed her gaze to the dance floor, and sure enough, he could see she was entirely correct, he was pretty sure they were actually getting it on right then and there.  Not in a dark corner, but right on the dance floor, and now he looked around, he was pretty sure there were several couples, both heterosexual and gay that were having sex in various places.

"It _is_ that kind of club, we should have come here, instead of the one in Florence."

"Oh no baby, that was hot, having sex in that booth, god, do you think we could get away with it here and now?"  Harper ran her hand down the front of his pants, rubbing him.

"Are you wearing panties?"

"Why don't you just check it out and tell me."  Harper teased him, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck as his hand ran up her thigh.  

"Mm, you are, but not much to them is there."  He had her turned so his body was blocking the view of anyone around them.  They were slightly behind a half wall, and there were a lot of people with their backs towards them, all bouncing to the music.  He started to toy with her, rubbing her slick wetness under the sexy dress she was wearing.  

Harper was starting to moan against his chest, he was going to make her come if he kept doing what he was doing, but she didn't much care.  Not like anyone in the club was paying attention, and there was a guy out on the floor paying quite a lot of attention to his partners ass, at the very least dry humping him.  It was dark, the lights flashing and flickering as she arched her back, pushing her pelvis against his hand.

"Fuck me."  She moaned into his ear.  "Right here, right now, up against this wall, fuck me hard."  She was already undoing his pants, glad for the high heels that brought her closer to his height.

"Harper."  He could feel her soft hand stroking up and down him, she had freed him from his boxers, and was clutching the back of his pants, not letting them fall.  "Hold onto those."

"Just fuck me."  She guided him to her wet centre, feeling him lift one leg slightly so he could properly thrust into her.  "Mm, yeah baby, like that."

Their hips were pumping against each other, a rocking movement that hit all the right spots as she felt her back pressed up against the wall.  She reached up and kissed him, wrapping an arm around his neck as their bodies moved against each other.  She kept a grip on his pants, still cognizant that he would not appreciate her dropping them in public, so far they were flying under the radar, or so she thought.

She felt the slight tingle, then the rush through her body, followed by the pulse of him spilling inside her, his firm final thrust into her, him waiting until they were both done.  He slid out of her body, tucking himself in and zipping his pants quickly after taking a moment to ensure her dress was straight.  Harper buckled his belt for him.

"Mm, quickie in the club.  You are way more adventurous than I could ever have imagined."  Harper looked around, noting that their little interlude had not gone entirely un noticed, but no one seemed all that bothered about it...they mostly sipped their drinks, one guy giving her a big wink and a smile before he turned back to his partner who was practically crawling all over him.

"I do crazy things for you, but I won't lie, it is a bit of a rush, the risk.  Never thought I would ever do that in public, but you only live once."

She dragged him back out on the dance floor, and they spent another good hour dancing, until they both decided they were done for the night.

* * *

 

Harper woke up, glued to John's naked body, feeling slightly sweaty and sticky.  After the club they had gone another couple of rounds, she had a smile on her face remembering the night before.

"Time for show and tell."  Harper dug in her suitcase as John flopped on the bed, wearing only a pair of fairly sexy silk boxers.  They had both hit the shower, hot and sweaty from the dancing and sex.

"Show and tell?  A few toys to share?"  John watched as she opened a small zipper bag with compartments, flipping it open on the bed.  Harper picked through and pulled out a small bottle, breaking the seal and inhaling the scent.

"I think you are going to like this.  Lay on your stomach."  She was digging in the bag and found another bottle, breaking the seal again and putting in on the nightstand where it would be handy.  

John rolled over, relaxing as she poured a small amount of the oil in her hands, then started to massage him, starting with his shoulders and neck.  "Oh yeah, I like it already."

She spent a good amount of time just working the knots out his muscles, working down his back, then slipping his boxers off and rubbing his firm ass, kneading it slightly, then down to his thighs and calves and feet.

"Roll over."

He turned, she could see he was already turned on by her ministrations, but she started at the top, ignoring his hard on, skirting around it as she massaged down his body.  Once she was done, she reached for the other bottle, pouring a bit into her hand, then massaging his stiff cock with it.

"Oh shit."  John closed his eyes, breathing deeply, enjoying the tingling sensation the massage oil was creating.

"You like that?  Just wait until I start to suck you, deep breaths and try to warn me before you come so I can stop.  Don't come in my mouth if you can help it, I want you inside me when you come."

Harper moved down, kneeling over him, running her tongue over his shaft, like she was licking a popsicle.  "Yum, strawberry."  

John moaned as the air hit the wetness left by her tongue, the cooling sensation contrasting with the warm tingling of the initial application.  Harper was teasing and licking all the way around, massaging a bit of the oil into his balls as she left no spot unattended.  She finally took him into her mouth, tightening her lips  and working him.  She could tell he was concentrating hard on not letting himself go too soon.

"Stop, god, baby, I'm going to explode."  John was taking deep breaths, the sensations becoming too much for him to control, he knew if he let her go on for even a minute longer, he was going to be done for.

Harper pulled back, knowing he needed a few moments with no stimulation, but being surprised when he flipped her onto her back, kissing her, then working down to her breasts, the remnants of oil on her lips passing to his, making her nipples tingle.  His lips traveled down her body, over her hips, down the outside of her thighs, all very slowly, he was taking his time, getting her worked up before kissing her between her thighs and sucking gently.

He moved up her body.  "I can't wait, god I need you so bad."  He could feel himself throbbing painfully, Harper welcoming him as he plunged into her body.  He sank into her, then stopped, trying to regain control before moving against her.  "Oh, shit, shit, shit."  He was moving urgently against her, feeling it rise uncontrollably, Harper moaning in his ear as he climaxed, not able to hold back another second.  It was exquisitely painful, his breath catching as his hips bucked against hers, finally collapsing onto her.

"Wow, what is in that stuff, it was hot and tingling, then cold, and then inside you it was so hot, I couldn't control it, you were so hot and wet, and shit...sorry baby."

Harper cradled his head.  "Uh uh, no sorries, that felt great and remember we already talked about it, sometimes you need to just let yourself go, not try so hard to hold back."

"Mm, well I try to go with the motto 'ladies first' cause when its over for us guys, it's over and it might be a while before you get an encore and there is nothing worse than leaving your partner sexually frustrated."

"Oh don't worry, you are going to make it up to me, and it felt really great, it always does with you."

"Not for a while, that was intense and I need recovery time."

"Yeah, but you forgot about little John."

"Um, what?   _Little John?"_

Harper smirked.  "Oh relax, this is _big_ John."  She stroked him gently.  " This is _little_ John."  She dug in her bag and pulled out one of her toys, holding it up for him to see.

"You named _that_...oh my god Harper."  John flopped back on the bed trying not to laugh.  "I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted."

"Flattered, trust me, when a woman names a sex toy after you, it is a good thing.  I think about you when I use it on myself...when I get lonely and horny thinking about our sexcapades, I get out little John, and he makes me feel a _whole_ lot better, when you are thousands of miles away."

"Ahh, I see.  Well in that case..."

* * *

 

Harper wrapped her arms around him, kissing him again and again.

"I'm going to miss you baby, and stay away from her or I will hunt you down."

"Might be worth seeing her just to have you hunt me down, sounds kinky."

"Nope, just unbearable painful, you will get no pleasure from it at all, don't even consider it.  Take care of yourself."

"You too, baby, call me...I mean it...call me if you get too lonely."

"I will, you too."

John leaned in and gave her another kiss, then they parted ways, both looking back and waving as they moved towards their own flights, back to their lives, John in Darfur, and Harper in Germany.


	14. A Talk with A True Friend

Debbie watched John as he worked on the patient, looking fairly relaxed.  She was dead curious on where he went, because apparently according to Angelique, John and Kem had a huge blowout fight and he was gone within an hour or two of arriving in Kinshasa.  Angelique was pretty sure they'd had sex though, and then there was yelling and then he walked out.

Angelique had called Debbie on the satellite phone, asking if he'd made it back safely, only to find out that he had not come back at all, in fact he was gone for several days, then showed up, back to work on schedule, looking a little too happy for someone who had a big fight with their wife...unless the sex had been that good?  Somehow she doubted it.

Lunchtime finally came and she brought John a bottle of water and a plate of the swill that passed for lunch.

"Soooo."

"So what?"  John chugged the water and then ate two or three bites of the slop on his plate, grimacing and putting it aside.  "Thanks for the effort, but I just have no appetite right now."

"Where did you go?"

"Kinshasa."

"After that?  Angelique called here, hoping you had found your way back safely, but I had to tell her you didn't come back.  You had a fight with Kem and left after about two hours.  Where did you go?  I was worried about you John, I was, things have been not so good for you lately and you are acting really off, disappearing like that."

"I went to Madrid, took the first available flight to Europe, and that is where it was going, so that is where I went.  I hung out in Spain for a few days, then came back.  I didn't realize Angelique would call you, sorry if you were worried."

"Alone?  Did you hang out in Spain all by yourself?"

"Um, no.  I called a friend."

"Ah, you used the phone a friend option.  Is this the same 'friend' you went to Italy with, and were the activities... _similar_?"

"Harper.  Yes, and...yes."

"Harper?"

"Dr. Harper Tracy, remember we were med students together, she lives in Germany, not far from Frankfurt, a short flight to Madrid."

"Doctor.  I see.  Nice few days, I am a little jealous.  Did you sleep with Kem, and then Harper?"

"Wow, no privacy in these places is there, who told you that?  Angelique?"

"Of course and you should already know there is no privacy, sounds carry, so word is there was noisy sex, loud fight, you walked away."

"Yeah, well it happened, and it was a huge mistake and I can't fix it, so..."  He shrugged.  "Good to know everyone heard to noisy sex...but they didn't fill you in on what the fight was about?"

"I guess you didn't yell at each other quite loud enough for them to make out the words.  Next time you should speak...I mean yell more clearly."

"Oh, well I will try to remember that so all the extra ears can have better gossip."

"How did Harper feel about it, or did you tell her?  You know, the part about you having sex with your wife and then getting together with her."

"I told her and she didn't care...her view is she's the other woman, she was thrilled we used a condom and it was one time.  Then she told me if I went back to Kem she'd basically hurt me so I could never go back to Kem.  Happy?"

"Harper is quite the woman."

"Oh you have no idea.  She's a firecracker, takes no shit from anyone, and she's fantastic in bed.  Anything else you want to know?"

"Be safe, don't knock her up, and have fun I guess.  Damn, I have to get off this base, I get worked up just thinking about it, I need a man and soon."

"Yeah don't look at me, I have two women at the moment, a third might put me over the edge.  Anyway, she would be pissed."

"First of all, who said I was asking you, and second, who would be pissed, Harper or Kem?"

"Harper.  She forgave the wife thing, but another woman?  She'd castrate me for sure.  As far as Kem?  I'm not sure she would even notice or care to be quite honest, she hasn't asked me how I have been managing all these months while she is off screwing Michel.  I mean, does she think I am just sitting around waiting for her, or does she just not give a crap?"

"Good for Harper, she should give you blue balls if you were playing the field like that and who said I liked having sex with you anyways?"

"You did, about a week ago.  Hey, it was mutual, I enjoyed having sex with you too, but...I get it, you are not asking and I'm not offering."

"Uh huh."  Debbie leaned against him.  "It was good, John, but we were never meant to be more than rebound friends with benefits.  Even now you are rebounding except this time you have Harper...sorry...Dr. Tracy.  So is she cute and blond?'

"You know it."

"Seriously?  Oh you are so damn predictable.  I think in about a week or so you should make another call to Harper.  So why did you and Kem fight?"

"Well, it was a booty call Debbie, she is still seeing Michel, she didn't want to talk, she wanted to fuck, so she got what she wanted, but I cut her off before she got anything more out of me.  I mean, we had sex before we even talked, what does that say about our relationship?  I can't do it anymore, I feel like she was sucking me dry."

Debbie laughed at him.  "Um. okay."

"Debbie!  That is not what I meant and you know it."

"Yes, I'm kidding John, I'm sorry I should not be making light of it."

"No, you shouldn't, remember what it's like to have your heart ripped out and stomped on?  That is about where I am at, maybe just starting to drag myself out of the train wreck and you are joking about it."

"I'm sorry, I am, I don't mean to be harsh or thoughtless, I just...I think Kem took you for granted and I wish I had kicked her ass when you first met her and told her to go back to Paris."

"Like that would have worked, I was a goner.  Stupid, I know, I always fall for the wrong women, and they end up ripping me to shreds.  I don't know if I can ever love like that again, if I can ever trust another woman enough to let them into my heart.  I let them play me, and I don't know why.  I am a stupid sucker when it comes to women, and this time I married her, damn, I don't even know what to do Debbie."

"Time, John, give it time.  You really hide it well, it's a bit scary."

"Hide what?"

"That you are an emotional basket case over her.  You seem so carefree, off with this new woman...or other woman, I guess she is not really new since you already now her, but...are you going to be okay?"

"Probably.  Hopefully, just keep me away from the pharmacy and it will all be cool."

"That's not funny...not that we have a pharmacy to keep you away from.  Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You joke like that sometimes but you've never come out and said it...I mean, you alluded to something major, but you have never really told me about the scars on your back or why the drug jokes."

John sighed.  "I guess I like leaving it all behind in Chicago, but...if I tell you, I would prefer you not tell anyone...and I mean it Debbie."

"Sounds serious, okay I promise."

"It is, extremely...several years ago at work I was stabbed in the back by patient.  He stole a knife, stabbed me and murdered my med student, stabbed her four times with the same knife.  She died from complications and I barely made it through.  Sometimes I wonder if I was lucky or unlucky to have lived through it."

"John...tell me you are kidding."

"No, I'm not kidding, the scars on my back are from where he stabbed me and the surgical scars are from them going in to stop the internal bleeding - he took out a kidney and just missed paralyzing me.  Lucy...my student, I felt guilty about her dying, I saw her on the floor before I passed out, and she was in the next trauma room and they had to crack her chest.  I had nightmares, didn't sleep for months, I was actually scared to sleep because of the nightmares.  I ended up addicted to pharmaceuticals, almost lost my job, almost killed a patient and ended up in rehab.  Screwed my life up really good, boy I paid big time for it, but Lucy...she died for it, and every once in a while I still wake up in a cold sweat."

"I don't even know what to say, all this time and you never told me the whole story.  You almost died."

"Yes, I always say I am a bit like a cat, but I must be close to the end of my nine lives, because you would not believe some of the shit I've seen in the past few years, the things I survived, I should be dead.  There was a time when I wished I was."

"That is so not funny."

"It wasn't meant to be, if I had not gone to rehab when I did, I probably would be dead, I'm not joking Debbie.  I almost gave up, it was close, I was struggling and no one seemed to notice but I couldn't even ask for help.  Stupid, all these doctors around me and I couldn't reach out to any of them, I couldn't admit how close I was to the edge.  I thought about it, I had enough drugs in my possession, and access to heavy duty drugs at work...I worked in a level 1 trauma centre - Demerol, Fentanyl, Vicodin, Morphine, you name, I could easily have walked into the drug lock up and just waltz out with it.  In fact I was stealing drugs and no one noticed for quite a long time.  Trust me, if I had decided it was time, no way they would have gotten me back, I would have done it properly the first time."

"And now?"  Debbie realized that the scars he carried went a lot deeper than his skin, he had been through things she didn't have a clue about, and was finally showing her some of his true emotions.  She finally understood that he was a master at hiding his feelings.

"Now?  Well, after a lot of therapy and a lot of meetings, I have things back on track, and I have never used again, if that is what you are asking.  PTSD.  That is what they treated me for, and for the most part it helped.  Some days are easier than others, and there have been times when I wish I had never gone to medical school, never worked at County or never left Surgery, any of which might have made all the difference in the world, but...we don't have the luxury of turning back time."

"What stopped you?"

"I don't know Debbie, I don't know if I ever will really know.  Maybe it was Carol...she was a nurse I worked with, and one of the first days I worked at County, she stole drugs and came in overdosed.  No one saw how depressed she was, how much pain she was hiding and she tried to kill herself and came damn close to succeeding.  I think the roommate came home early and found her, saved her life.  It was tough for her for a long time, but...me and a lot of other people were always thankful she didn't manage to kill herself, she was one of the best nurses and best people I've ever known.  I remember talking to her after I came back to work...when I was starting to go over the edge and I wish I had told her how I was feeling, because she would have understood.  But I didn't and I don't know why."

"So you have learned to hide things, really well, is that what you are saying?  You were using serious drugs on a daily basis, around a bunch of medical professionals and no one clued in?  Holy shit."

"I learned young, Debbie.  In my family if you are male, you don't ever let anyone see you cry.  I was 11 and my grandfather yelled at me and backhanded me for crying at my brothers funeral.  I have rarely seen my parents display any emotion at all, except disappointment of course.  My grandmother was probably the only one I ever really saw get emotional and that was when I was in the hospital after being stabbed."

"Your parents didn't get emotional?"

"Maybe, but since I didn't see them for three weeks, by then if they were at all upset they had it under wraps.  I kind of doubt it for some reason, they didn't even cry at Bobby's funeral.  The only time I've really let it out is when...Joshua died.  If I had kept that in, I would have been back on drugs for sure, that was a rough year."

"I can only imagine.  Kem was not the same when she came back either, she never really has been the same person, has she?"

"No, not even close.  I wonder if she hadn't gotten pregnant how long it would have lasted.  Not long maybe...I think we were never meant to be, not really, or we would have been able to keep it together."

"Is your marriage done?"

"What do you think?  She's having sex with another man, I'm seeing Harper on the side, the only thing we manage to do without yelling at each other is have sex, then we yell at each other.  She's in Paris or wherever else, I'm here or wherever else, and I didn't think about her after the initial talk with Harper about why I called her.  Is it over?"

"Sounds pretty over to me, so you are separated from your wife and having sex with your new girlfriend.  All right then, you should get out of this hell hole as much as possible and go see the woman, at least one of us can get laid."

"Ah Debbie, you just tell it like it is, I think we need to look for an unmarried doctor for you."

"An unmarried, straight, decent guy is all I need about now.  Why do I live here?"

"I am the wrong person to ask, honey.  I don't even know why I live here.  I cannot wait until the find a replacement, but I am going to take your advice and get out of here as much as possible.  I think I need to, for my own sanity, maybe you can understand that now."

"You are going to have to deal with it all sometime."

"I am, yes, but right now...this is the only way I can deal with it.  I don't expect you to understand but...I am not ready to face it and this is harmless escapism.  Having an affair, its a distraction."

"Does Harper know that John?  You aren't going to end up hurting her are you?"

"She knows Debbie, we've talked about a whole lot of stuff, the three weeks in Italy wasn't just sex, I've known her for years and we communicate in a way that most people would not fully appreciate.  We made a deal, no strings attached, it's like therapy in some ways.  She's not my girlfriend, she's something else entirely.  We have sex, we talk, we have fun...strange but true."

"As long as she knows...but the sex thing, isn't that a bit unhealthy as far as dealing with life?"

"Perhaps, but...try not to analyze me okay?  See how lucky you are?  You escaped, I am just messed up, I have a messed up family, a messed up marriage and messed up life really, and maybe that's a clue for me, I should just forget the whole finding one woman to love and play the field, seems to be my life.  Play the field, don't get too involved, don't tie myself down."

"That would be a shame John, I think the right woman...a family...the stability...is just what you need.  Go home to Chicago, get your shit together and move on with your life.  You are never going to meet the right woman stuck in the middle of the desert.  Quit dealing with things with sex, it's not healthy."

"Oh I don't know about that, I feel less stressed out after a few days with Harper, I think it's pretty damn healthy.  And if I go back to Chicago maybe you should go back to Seattle, see your parents and find yourself a nice guy to settle down with and make a few babies yourself."

"Me as a mother?  I don't think so John, I don't have the urge.  I like men, I like sex, but I don't want to have a baby, maybe I should take a page from Gillian."

"What!  You just told me that using sex to deal with my problems is unhealthy, then you say you are going to be Gillian the second?  I like her, but come on, she will sleep with pretty much any guy that she finds even remotely attractive.  She was inviting me to sleep with her and she knew I had a girlfriend at home."

"She sleeps with married men all the time too.  Hey, I've slept with a few married men, of course I didn't know they were married until after the deed was done, but I still have been a home wrecker even if unwittingly.  You'd barely broken up with Abby and we were in bed together, what does that say about me?"

"Hey, I was single, she asked for her key back, barely gave me the time of day and told me to fuck off basically.  We were apart for a while, even if it wasn't official until the second time I came to Africa.  What we did was far from immoral Debbie, we were two single people having sex."

"That's all it was, sex, right?"

"Did you want it to be more?  You've already admitted you don't want any of the same things I want...or wanted.  At this point I am not sure I will ever have any of it, maybe you have the right idea, forget the kids, forget all of it, because it ain't never gonna happen.  Not at this rate."

"No, you still want it, I can tell, and you should at least try John or you are going to be unhappy for the rest of your life.  You will find a great woman, have a couple babies and be happy.  The difference with me is I would be happy just to find a good man, I never have wanted a baby, never.  I like kids, but I don't want my own...you want kids, you would be a really great dad, and you should at least give it one more try.  Go home and be happy."

"Okay, I hear you, but I expect you to be here with a shoulder to cry on when the next ten women break my heart."

"For an optimist you are awfully negative these days.  Stop it, she's out there, you just have to get the hell out of Africa and back to the real world."

 

* * *

 

"


End file.
